I can’t resist taking a swipe at this… “THING”

I’m usually a relatively easy person to get along with… And there are few people that I can’t find some redeeming quality in… But … Ann Coulter smokes my hams and I’d gladly read her obituary
Honestly… Does this broad own another dress?!?

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No… I did not deface this picture… But I wish I had!

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I know… I know… I’ve touched on this subject before.

The Beast has the proper name …as the definition of “Coulter” shows. A divider. A separator. A digger of dirt. A tool used to work in the dirt.

American Heritage DictionaryCite This Source coul·ter Pronunciation Key
n. A blade or wheel attached to the beam of a plow that makes vertical cuts in the soil in advance of the plowshare.

[Middle English culter, from Old English culter and Old French coltre, both from Latin culter, knife, plowshare; see skel-1 in Indo-European roots.]

Today’s Insults

If brains were wind, you would not have enough to blow your nose. – anon

You must be the arithmetic man – you add trouble, subtract pleasure, divide attention, and multiply ignorance. – Al from SF

You must have gotten up on the wrong side of the cage this morning. – My Wife

He has the intelligence of a box of rocks. – John from Bremerton, WA

This is a good one… Thanks Alf

Even though this is a real clipping from a real newspaper… Some folks don’t believe it.

Some folks think it’s a joke… Some folks back her up.

 (You be the Judge)

news clip

Today’s Insults

You are a preposterously revolting misdemeanant and a maladjusted, mucous-eating cesspool of putrid effluvium. – unknown

You are a monstrously licentious scoundrel and a vacuous, dandruff-eating display of indecency. – unknown

You are a monstrously subliterate swine and a ludicrous, bug-eyed arbitrary dereliction of genetics. – unknown

When it comes to I.Q. points, you lose some every time you go to the bathroom.  – anonymous

I wish I’d known this before I got married.

A Nietzsche-quoting judge said a promise penned in blood by a businessman was not an enforceable contract. Superior Court Judge Corey S. Cramin ruled Monday that Stephen Son could not be forced to repay Kim Jin-soo more than $140,000 that Kim provided to Son’s companies, not to Son himself.Son punctured his finger and drafted the promise in a restaurant after his companies accepted cash from Kim but failed to turn a profit.

Son was not required to guarantee those transactions, the judge said.

“Blood is the worst of all testimonies to the truth,” Cramin said, paraphrasing German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche.

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Don’t Mess With Texas?!?

Murphy, Texas

A sting in which police teamed up with “Dateline NBC” to catch online pedophiles was supposed to send a flinty-eyed, Texas-style warning about this Dallas suburb: Don’t mess with Murphy.

Instead, it has turned into a fiasco.

One of the 25 men caught in the sting – a prosecutor from a neighboring county – committed suicide when police came to arrest him. The Murphy city manager who approved the operation lost his job in the ensuing furor.

And the district attorney is refusing to prosecute any of the men, saying many of the cases were tainted by the involvement of amateurs.

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G.W. Bush as R. M. Nixon

Bush Won’t Supply Subpoenaed Documents

President Bush, in a constitutional showdown with Congress, claimed executive privilege Thursday and rejected demands for White House documents and testimony about the firing of U.S. attorneys.

His decision was denounced as “Nixonian stonewalling” by the chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee.

Bush rejected subpoenas for documents from former presidential counsel Harriet Miers and former political director Sara Taylor. The White House made clear neither one would testify next month, as directed by the subpoenas.

Presidential counsel Fred Fielding said Bush had made a reasonable attempt at compromise but Congress forced the confrontation by issuing subpoenas. “With respect, it is with much regret that we are forced down this unfortunate path which we sought to avoid by finding grounds for mutual accommodation.” 

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Peru Celebrates Tasty Guinea Pigs

 I’ve actually eaten guinea pig… It’s called cuy and it’s quite good… Tastes like dark meat chicken… REALLY!!

guinea pig

READ MORE HERE

Crop Circles

This is a crop circle…

crop circle

This is Your Crop Circle on Drugs…

crazy crop

From Eddy in FL

For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt?  We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, “you don’t know Jack Schitt!”   Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.

Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt… Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, Married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc.   They had one son, Jack.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt.   The deeply religious couple produced six children:  Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt…  Against her parents’ objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout… After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced… Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name…  She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock… Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous diposition named Chicken Schitt…  Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony…  The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials…  The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse…  Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world…  He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.

NOW, when someone says, “you don’t know Jack Schitt,” you can correct them.

Sincerely,
Crock O. Schitt

Today’s Insults

He’s not stupid; he’s possessed by a retarded ghost. – unknown

Here’s 20 cents. Call all your friends and bring back some change! – anon

Hi! I’m a human being! What are you? – anonymous

How did you get here? Did someone leave your cage open? – unknown

I’d like to see things from your point of view but I can’t seem to get my head that far up my ass. – Bill Mahr

I want an iPhone!

iphoneOf course I want an iPhone!  Everybody I know wants an iPhone…. But am I getting an iPhone?…. Nooooo!  “Too expensive!”   This from the wife who usually snarls… ” You’ll get what you want anyway!”  But this time she means it.  It’s my own fault too… I laid out the logic of waiting during a conversation on microwave ovens and dvd players a couple of months back.

.Well… They were expensive when they first came out … right?  Now you can get a new one for cheaper than the examination fee at the repair shop.   Never impart knowledge… It’ll come back and bite you when you least expect it… So I’ll wait…  Maybe 6 months… We’ll see what happens… But am I going to go play with one Friday evening?

You Betcha!!

Today’s Insults

If ignorance were a disability, he’d get the full pension. – Joe from Tucson

I’ll consider letting you have the last word if you guarantee it will be your last. – ThaiVisa

What have we here: a man or a fish, dead or alive ? – Shakespeare

You have a good and kind soul. It just doesn’t match the rest of you. – Norm Papernick

Quotable Quotes

  • We are dealing with the best-educated generation in history. But they’ve got a brain dressed up with nowhere to go.
  • Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.
  • You’re only as young as the last time you changed your mind.
  • The universe is an intelligence test.
  • Civilization is unbearable, but it is less unbearable at the top.

 All Quotes Courtesy of – Timothy Leary

PostSecret

nutrisys

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HERE IS MY OWN LITTLE SECRET FOR POSTING:

Today, I’m writing a proposal for a new job… My boss is a very bad person

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… and her boss is too afraid of her to save the company’s reputation.mr bill

Today’s Insults

You should toss out more of your funny remarks; that’s all they’re good for. – Anonymous

People can’t say that you have absolutely nothing! After all, you have inferiority!If we were to kill everybody who hates you, it wouldn’t be murder; it would be genocide! – Unknown

I believe in respect for the dead; in fact, I could only respect you if you WERE dead. – Me!

We can always tell when you are lying. Your lips move. - Denise

The American Empire and the Roman Empire have a lot in Common

fast food eater

Ancient Romans preferred fast food

The average ancient Roman ate on the run and didn’t wine and dine in decadence and formality like the elite in Rome, says a British archaeologist.

Dr Penelope Allison of the University of Leicester presents her findings in a new book detailing the excavation of an entire neighbourhood block in Pompeii.

Pompeii is a city frozen in time after the eruption of volcano Mount Vesuvius in 79 AD. Historians often extend findings from Pompeii to other parts of Italy, particularly Rome, given the city’s proximity to the Roman Empire’s centre.

“In many parts of the western world today, a popular belief exists that family members should sit down and dine together and, if they don’t, this may represent a breakdown of the family structure, but that idea did not originate in ancient Rome,” says Allison.

Her claims are based both on what she did not find during the excavation, and what she did.

Allison noticed an unusual lack of tableware and formal dining or kitchen areas within the Pompeii homes. Instead she found isolated plates here and there, such as in sleeping quarters.

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Party Animal? It’s Not Genetic

Party animal

Genes shape our health and appearance more than they shape our personality, suggests a new study of thousands of people in a genetically isolated part of the world.

According to the study, published in the August issue of PLoS Genetics, genetics account for roughly 51% of a person’s height, weight and body shape, 25% of cardiovascular function and about 40% of certain blood characteristics, such as sugar and cholesterol levels.

But genes only account for about 19% of many documented personality traits, such as neuroticism, extraversion, agreeableness and conscientiousness.

“My personal view is that we have evolved to have very diverse personalities and that, compared to other traits, personality may be much less deterministic than other human characteristics,” says Associate Professor Gonçalo Abecasis, one of the study’s authors.

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Cool Signs

ace

balls hallmark

face

bullshit

Jack

planters

When Will YOU Die?

Check out the Death Clock

Calculate the day of your death.

Today’s Insults

Don’t you have a terribly empty feeling – in your skull?

Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you?

Don’t you need a license to be that ugly?

Every girl has the right to be ugly, but you abused the privilege!

Go ahead, tell them everything you know. It’ll only take 10 seconds.

courtesy of  Al from UT

Not ME!

Resistance was futile… I’ve been assimilated… I am my father! For the thousandth time over the past two months I’ve yelled… “Who left this (pick one) light, tv, computer, video game, fan, on?!”… As I walk through the house flipping switches and muttering about the electric bill. In fact… the inspiration for this rant sprang from my yelling about five minutes ago… “Who left the front door open?!” … “Do you people think I’m paying to air condition the whole town?!”

So… Hearing the echos of my dear departed stepdad’s rants in my own voice made me listen for the echoes of me and my siblings in the responses of my own brood… And guess what?.. There is definitely truth to the old saw that “he who forgets history is doomed to repeat it.” Of course… as a kid… I never learned from past experience to turn off lights and close doors… I had “Not Me!” living at my house… He was the invisible kid who gladly accepted the blame for any and every transgression we could think of. Well… at least he never protested about being blamed.

Well… “Not Me!” has moved into my house with the tenacity of a ner’ do well brother in law. He’s entrenched and he’s apparently here until the last non invisible kid leaves. Seems to be the same person too… His habits haven’t changed… Still does the same old dumb stuff he used to do. Seems to spend most of his time with the kids… must have some kind of Peter Pan non aging thing going on. Although he does hang out with the wife a lot too.

As I write this… a strange… slightly disturbing… yet satisfying feeling comes over me that my little hellions will most likely have to endure a stay by this strange little relative at some point in their lives. I suspect I’ll have an evil little smirk on my face the next time I yell “”Who left the door open?!”

Things are getting out of hand

Apparently the rims were so expensive… He couldn’t afford a decent car to put on them!

40 inch rims

Top 20 Magic Trick Tutorials

Want to learn to do all those magic tricks you’ve always been fascinated by?

GO HERE

cards

This Kid Will Grow Up To Kill His Parents

Worst Baby Name Ever.

If you think naming your kid “Georgebush” (yes, one word – as previously posted on Neatorama) was bad, check this out:

Announcing the arrival of a beautiful new baby boy at St. Francis Health Center . . .Urhines Kendall Icy Eight Special K

Urhines is pronounced “Your Highness,” by the way. And Special K seems to refer to Ketamine, a recreational drug.

New Zealand, on the other hand, is fighting this baby naming shenanigans: it blocked a couple’s request to name their baby “4real.”