Los Cuatro Ojos

Rare White Albino Shark Spotted…

The 10-metre long shark was pictured swimming off the coast of Darwin, the northern-most island of the Galapagos. Read More HERE

Man In Sri Lanka Gets A Nut Screwed Onto His Penis… I Say Break Out The Blowtorch…

A welder who tried to elongate his penis with a nut found himself in a pickle when the nut got stuck after he had an erection. The victim, from Taman Sri Skudai, had apparently been trying to increase the length of his penis ahead of his engagement next week when disaster struck. It is learnt […]

19 Nuggets Of Wisdom From Dave Barry…

19 Things That It Took Me 50 Years To Learn By Dave Barry… 1. Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. 2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that […]

Using A Fountain Like An Inkjet Printer…

This Fountain Is In Canal City, Japan… It’s A Good Example Of Why I Like Visiting Japan… Always Something New And Innovative Going On…

This Is Why I Give All Fitness Buffs The Finger!…

Jim Fixx, who wrote “The Complete Book of Running” and lectured about how running and a healthy diet would promote longevity, dropped dead from a heart attack while running. An autopsy revealed he had 3 massively blocked heart arteries.

Ever Play With AnaGrams?…

Here’s 10 for you to double check… 1. Dormitory = Dirty Room 2. Evangelist = Evil’s Agent 3. Postmaster = Stamp Store 4. The eyes = They see 5. Desperation = A Rope Ends It 6. Conversation = Voices Rant On 7. Mother-in-law = Woman Hitler 8. Funeral = Real Fun 9. Vacation Times = […]

Extreme Swim Trunks…The Lady From FL Sends These…Crystal Must Have Been Really Bored Waiting Out That Storm…

So that the old FourEyes doesn’t have to read lots and lots of emails accusing me of “stealing” these watermarked pics (even though I’m just re-posting a forwarded email) … I’m providing a link to Vizeau.com so that the strictly puritan and lecherous alike can give them some traffic and hopefully some business. This one […]

Family Has Dead Man Standing For His Own Wake…

It was his last wish… A man in Puerto Rico died and his family had the mortician embalm him so that he could stand up…. And then they proceeded to have a 3 day wake in their home for him. Dressed in a Yankees baseball cap and sunglasses, 24 year old Angel Pantoja Medina was […]

Newspaper Clippings Sent In By Crystal In FL…

Crystal was bored while waiting out tropical storm Fay…

Ingredients: LSD, THC, Opium… And Crack.

In Memory Of Luke… 2002-2008 – R.I.P.

Today we buried our Alpha Male English Mastiff… Luke… Luke SkyWalker that is. Luke was a massive Mastiff… close to 200lbs in his prime.  Big, slobbery, goofy, clumsy, sweet, lovable, snore like an earthquake Luke. Luke’s snore could wake the dead… And he slept like the dead… Usually in the middle of the hallway… But […]

How To Tell When You’re All Grown Up…

Cane Fighting… Self Defense For The Old Dudes… Like Me.

Step by Step Instructions HERE Here’s A Video To Get You Started… Read More HERE

I’m Still In ISP Hell… Enjoy These Links…

Corkscrew-Balloon Has A Couple Of Goodies… Including The Beloit College Mindset List The Craziest Shoes From Around The World Nanny Goats In Panties Has A Beef With Blister Packaging Man Almost Loses Penis Humping Steel Bench   Online Alarm Clock   10 Most Bizarre Vending Machines in Japan

Earthlink’s Customer Service Is Worse Than Their Tech Support… That’s Pretty Bad.

Here I Am Paying For DSL Service And I’m Sitting In A Mickey D’s To Put This Post Out… Shameful!!! I’ve been with Earthlink for 12 years and I’ve never been real crazy about their support system… But I’ve put up with it because… Well… Because I’m stupid. My DSL modem sits there with all […]

My ISP Is Causing Me To Experience Existential Angst… I’m Sending Them A Box Of Chocolate Anuses.

My ISP Is Balking At Sending Out A Replacement Modem And I’m Dropping My Connection Every 10 Minutes Now… If They Give Me ONE MORE Excuse… I’m Naming Them In A Really Nasty Post… Fortunately…My Cousin Works For Them And Reads This Blog Regularly… Hey Ray!… Can You Help A Fella Out?!?!?

I’ve Lived Through All Of These Styles… I Need A Drink!

 1960′s 1970′s 1980′s 1990′s

Emo – Goth Valentine… I’m Thinking…EEewwww!!

To Mrs. FourEyes… I’d take a bullet for ya sweetie… But I ain’t cutting myself for ya.

My ISP Is On My Sh*t List… Couldn’t Post All Day…

I Tried Posting  At Midnite… And Then Again At Noon… This Is How I Felt By 11pm…

Using A Segway To Push A Baby Stroller… This Just Seems Wrong…

Pop Goes The Weasel… Ever Wondered Why The Weasel Goes “Pop?”

Round and round the cobbler’s bench The monkey chased the weasel, The monkey thought ’twas all in fun Pop! Goes the weasel. A penny for a spool of thread A penny for a needle, That’s the way the money goes, Pop! Goes the weasel. Half a pound of tuppenny rice, Half a pound of treacle. […]

Rules For When You Rule The World… Or… Evil Overlord 101…

It seems that over and over again… Some poor schmuck fights his or her way to the top of the heap and stands at the edge of being the ruler of the world/galaxy/universe… Then they blow it by overlooking some teeny tiny detail that the hero takes advantage of and down topples the master plan. […]

In Memory Of My Brother… Who’s Been Gone 2 Years On 8/14… We Miss You Larry.

If This Babyfaced S.O.B. Is Packing Heat… We’re All In Trouble.

Everyone’s PIN Number Published On The Web!! Horrors!!

Oh My!.. Some Devilishly Dastard Demon Spawn Has Finally Done It… They’ve Posted Everyone’s… And I Mean Everyone’s Personal PIN Number On The Web… Lot’s Of Mine Are There… You’d Better Get Right Over There! Those monsters have finally gone and done it!!! What Are We Gonna Do!?!? Is YOUR PIN Number HERE?