One Of Those Things That Make You Go Hmmmm…
Los Cuatro Ojos
Some Days You’re The Dog… Some Days You’re The Hydrant.
And That’s How The Fight Started Officer!!…
1) When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive…. So, I took her to a gas station….. And that’s how the fight started…
2) After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver’s license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.
I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
The woman said, ‘Unbutton your shirt’.
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver haired chest. She said, ‘That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me’ and she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.
She said, ‘You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too’. …And that’s how the fight started…
3) My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, ‘Do you know her?’
‘Yes,’ I sighed, ‘She’s my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn’t been sober since.’
My God!’ says my wife, ‘Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?’ …And that’s how the fight started…
4) I rear-ended a car this morning.
So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car.
You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?
Yeah, well I couldn’t believe it…. he was a DWARF!!!
He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, ‘I AM NOT HAPPY!!!’
So, I looked down at him and said, ‘Well, then which one are you?’ …And that’s how the fight started…
Comedian Russell Peters Explains Ethnic Differences… Funny!
WARNING!! Language… Watch Your Volume Or NSFW!!!!
Average American Politician…
Now Playing... Corporate Greatest Hits.
Smart Aleck Answers Found On School Tests… Or Maybe Your Kid’s Just Dumb…
Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists
Q. How is dew formed
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire
Q. What causes the tides in the oceans
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight.
Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed
Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election
Q. What are steroids
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs
Q. What happens to your body as you age
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental
Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery
Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A. Premature death
Q. What is artificial insemination
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow
Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
A. Keep it in the cow
Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen)
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts – the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I, O and U
Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie
Q. What is the most common form of birth control
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium
Q. Give the meaning of the term ‘Caesarean section’
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome
Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor.
Q. What is a terminal illness
A. When you are sick at the airport.
Q. What does the word ‘benign’ mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight
Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Sheik wears on his head
Been Xmas Shopping?.. Seen These Folks?… Bruce From CT Sends These Doozies… You Laugh At ANY Of These Pics… You Get A Lump Of Coal.
She's Got Back Boobs... Fun To Hug!
Remember When Only Little Old Ladies Had Blue Hair?
WTF?!?!?
Buns Of Butter
Let's Hope She's Buying A Bathrobe.
Plumber's Delight
Chicken Weave?
Nice Legs
Eeeewwww!!!
Whatizzit?!?
Daisy Don'ts
Swamp Monsters Like Candy Too.
Wrong On So, So Many Levels.
Wanna Go Toe To Toe W/ Her At The Clearance Table?
Bet He Misses The Toilet A Lot...
You Have Been Warned.
Is That A Beard?!?
A Thong?!?!
Girls Gots Garters
Subscribe
-
