Got Cable? Here’s The Truth…

To Send Flowers?!? Forget It.

password madness

High Speed Hypocrisy… Don’t Text And Drive.

hypocrisy

A Dumb Ass Is A Dumb Ass Is A Dumb Ass…

Darwin Moment

What Watching Cable News Is Like…

oroboros

The Top Ten Gross Things Flight Attendants Have Seen Passengers Do On Airplanes:

Flight Attendant Stories…

10. Breast Pumping
A lady decided that it was appropriate to use a breast pump during boarding. She fully exposed both breasts and with just a bottle (not with a baby) did the vacuum effect on her fully exposed boob. Let me remind you this was both breasts out in the air, on a full flight, during boarding, taxi, take-off and part of cruise.

9. Breast Milk Dripage
A few passengers notified me of something leaking from the overhead bins down onto their heads. The look on the men’s faces was priceless when a woman stood up and said, “OMG….My breast milk! It’s not frozen anymore and it’s leaking what should I do?!”

8. Blankets and Boogers
A passenger in first class rang her call light. She handed me her blanket and asked if I could give her a new one. I was puzzled since everyone had started the flight with a fresh blanket. I looked down at the blanket and it was all wet and slimy with boogers. I felt so grossed out–like I was going to hurl–as I tossed it into a plastic bag.

7. Impromptu Snacking
A first class passenger picked something off his bare feet and ate it. I saw it myself.

6. Jump Seat No-No
A passenger sat down on the back galley flight attendant jump seat “waiting on the lavatory.” A flight attendant told him he couldn’t sit there. After I came out of the lav and sat down, we realized that he had urinated on the jump seat!

5. Pedicures
Lady using the “ped egg” on her feet. And then tried to dump her foot shavings in my trash.

4. A Little Laundry
A first class passenger took off his soggy socks and dried them by putting them over the air vent above his seat. Passengers all the way back in coach complained about the smell.

3. Lost Panties
I was helping clean the plane at one of our out-stations so we could turn the plane on time and found a pair of bloody panties in the seat pocket. This is why we wear gloves.

2. Adult Diapers
Someone shed their humongous Depends adult diapers on the toilet seat–yep, shed like a creature shedding its sea-shell, and they were left perfectly wide open and obviously used on top of the toilet lid, for the next passenger.

1. Going No. 2
A passenger used the tissue (out of the tissue box dispenser in the restroom) to clean up after their bowel movement. They then placed the used tissues back into the tissue box. A fellow flight attendant reached into the tissue dispenser for a tissue and…discovered the issue firsthand.

Follow Sara Keagle on Twitter: www.twitter.com/theflyingpinto

Maybe The Gods Were Right…

Prometheus Fail

Aren’t Long-term Relationships Grand?

long term barbie

Let’s Get 2013 Off On The Right Foot… Understand That It Won’t Get Any Easier.

english is hard

And Here’s Our Review Of 2012′s Highlights… Thanks To The Onion

The My Facebook Followers are More Important Than My Kid Picture…

picture first

Enjoy That New Smart Phone… Slave.

smart phone master

You Can’t Win The Game Of Life…

life stages

My Fantasy Facebook Update Revealed…

facebook status ZOMBIES Are My Fucking Problem!!! floridas finest

God, I HATE Makeup… And Guys Get All The Blame When They Don’t Call Again.

Not Only Was Einstein A Genius… He WasA Prophet.

And Once Again Men Catch The Short End Of The Stick… Very Funny.

Well… Einstein COULD Have Said It… Ask Stephen Hillenberg For Proof.

And The Proof Is In The Money…

 

 

Hell Of A Philosophy… Ain’t It?

This Is A Major WTF?!?!?!

Better Rules To Live By…

Overweight Luggage Fee My Ass…

World’s First Camera?!? Who Took This Picture Then?!?

Don’t Know How Much More Politickin I Can Take…

Mom Of The Decade…