The Test…

Four college friends were so confident that the
weekend before finals, they decided to go up to Dallas
and party with some friends up there. They had a
great time. However, after all the partying, they slept
all day Sunday and didn’t make it back to Austin until
early Monday morning.

Rather than taking the final then, they decided to find
their professor after the final and explain to him why
they missed it.

They explained that they had gone to Dallas for the
weekend with the plan to come back and study but,
unfortunately, they had a flat tire on the way back,
didn’t have a spare, and couldn’t get help for a long
time. As a result, they missed the final.

The Professor thought it over and then agreed they could
make up the final the following day. The guys were
elated and relieved.

They studied that night and went in the next day at the
time the professor had told them. He placed them in
separate rooms and handed each of them a test booklet,
and told them to begin.

They looked at the first problem, worth 5 points. It was
something simple about free radical formation. “Cool,”
they thought at the same time, each one in his
separate room. “This is going to be easy.”

Each finished the problem and then turned the page. On
the second page was written:

(For 95 points): Which tire?

A Visual Guide To The 2000 Decade…

Turtle Evolution At Work…

And That’s How The Fight Started Officer!!…

1) When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive…. So, I took her to a gas station….. And that’s how the fight started…

2) After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver’s license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.

I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, ‘Unbutton your shirt’.

So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver haired chest. She said, ‘That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me’ and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.

She said, ‘You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too’.And that’s how the fight started…

3) My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, ‘Do you know her?’

‘Yes,’ I sighed, ‘She’s my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn’t been sober since.’

My God!’ says my wife, ‘Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?’ …And that’s how the fight started…

4) I rear-ended a car this morning.

So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car.

You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?

Yeah, well I couldn’t believe it…. he was a DWARF!!!

He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, ‘I AM NOT HAPPY!!!’

So, I looked down at him and said, ‘Well, then which one are you?’ …And that’s how the fight started…

Idea For The Next Stephen King Book…

I Call This An Abusive Dad… “Kids… This Is Where Little Chicks Who Don’t Do Their Homework Go.”

Remember When You Didn’t Qualify To Smell Your Girlfriend’s Farts?…

Girls Fart TooClick here for this week’s top video clips

Restroom Door Signs… Which Are You?…

Fortress Around Your Heart – Sting…

Sting – Fortress Around Your Heart .mp3
Found at bee mp3 search engine

Pranks… Pranks And A Punch In The Face…

Comedian Russell Peters Explains Ethnic Differences… Funny!

WARNING!! Language… Watch Your Volume Or NSFW!!!!

Advice From The U.S. Military… Take Heed.

“Aim towards the Enemy.” – Instruction printed on U.S. Rocket Launcher

“When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend.” – U.S. Army

“Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground.” – U.S.A.F. Ammo Troop

“If the enemy is in range, so are you.” – Infantry Journal

“A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what’s left of your unit.” – Army’s magazine of preventive maintenance

“It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.” – U.S. Air Force Manual

“Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo.” – Infantry Journal

“Tracers work both ways.” – U.S. Army Ordnance

“Five-second fuses only last three seconds.” – Infantry Journal

“Bravery is being the only one who knows you’re afraid.” – Col. David Hackworth

“If your attack is going too well, you’re probably walking into an ambush.” – Infantry Journal

“No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection.” – Joe Gay

“Any ship can be a minesweeper … once.” – Anonymous

“Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.” – Unknown Army Recruit

“Don’t draw fire; it irritates the people around you.” – Your Buddies

“If you see a bomb technician running, try to keep up with him.” – U.S. Ammo Troop

The Economy Got You Feeling A Little Anxious?…

Big Lions… Little Lady… Does The Economy Have You Feeling Like This?

Plumber’s Tape…

You Wish You Could Be This Cool…

Average American Politician…

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The Average American Voter…

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Neptune And Uranus Have Diamond Icebergs… How’s That 1 Carat Rock You Spent 3 Months Salary On Looking Now?..

Diamond Icebergs On Uranus & Neptune

Dead Star Encased In Diamond

Teddy Pendergrass – R.I.P. – 1950-2010

Life Is Short … Maybe Not.

Are You Meant For More Than Just Your Meager Existence?..

Help All You Can… It Might Be You Next Month….

WhaT Pat Robertson REALLY Meant To Say About Haiti…