How To Land In Divorce Court In 2 Minutes Or Less…

If I Could Teach My Kids This… School Mornings Would Be Sooo Much Easier…

Man Faces 2nd Arrest For Sex With A Horse… Gives Horse An STD… Apparently Not A Very “Stable” Relationship…

From : The Charlotte Observer

A Conway, S.C., woman who had video surveillance of a man having sexual intercourse with one of her horses said she found the suspect behind her barn Monday night and pointed a shotgun at his head until police arrived and arrested him.

Rodell Vereen, 50, of Longs, is charged with buggery and trespassing after Barbara Kenley, who owns Lazy B Stables on Coates Road in the Wampee section of Horry County, told officers she had video of the suspect having sex with a horse then wanted to catch him at her barn.

It is the second time Vereen, who works for a landscaping company, has been charged with having sex with a horse at Lazy B Stables. Vereen pleaded guilty to buggery on July 21, 2008 and was sentenced to three years probation, ordered to undergo mental health counseling, and told not to go near Lazy B Stables after he was caught having sex with a horse on Thanksgiving Day of 2007, according to the 15th Judicial Circuit.

“I have a false sense of security right now,” Kenley said. “When they arrested him before I thought that was the end of it. Now all of my insecurities are back. I can’t go out there at certain times because I am afraid.”

Kenley said Vereen was having sex with a 21-year-old horse named Sugar. Kenley said the horse is being treated for infections related to the incidents.

Kenley told officers she had video of Vereen “having relations” with one of her horses on July 19, according to a police report. “I had given police surveillance video before and they weren’t able to identify him,” Kenley said. “And I wanted to catch him firsthand. It was just a matter of time before I caught him.”

Read More HERE

The Shirt Is Nice… So’s The Girl… But Let’s Talk About The Horse…

WTF

Don’t You Just Hate It When Mom Poops On Your Head?..

elephant mom

Lip Locked Lattes…

coffe scupture

And How Was YOUR Weekend?…

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Yup… It’s Monday… Again.

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Another WTF?!? Moment… Can You Make Sense Of What This Lady Is On About?..

Can’t Say I’ve Ever Looked At Liberty And Justice Quite This Way Before… I Like It!!

liberty and justice

A Good Friend Indeed…

tee off

The World Economy In A Nutshell…

Economic Bailout

My Daughter’s Prayer…

dear god

A Casket To Fit Your Lifestyle…

coca_cola_coffin

coffin shoe

coffin sewing mach

coffin mercedes

coffin fish

Only In…

Quotes… Insults… And More Quotes…

He’s putting the laughter back into manslaughter.

When life gives you lemons, cut them in half and squirt life in the eye!

The reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

I told the butcher I’d give him $10 if he got the meat down off the top shelf. He said he couldn’t. The steaks were too high.

The most effective copyright protection known to man : a scratched CD.

Coffee just isn’t my cup of tea.

Yo momma’s so fat, she walked past the TV and I missed the first season of Lost.

If your name was homework, I would be doing you on my desk right now.

Just remember, if the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off.

Without me, it’s just aweso.

Love is not the dying moan of a distant violin – it’s the triumphant twang of a bedspring.

I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.

When I said ‘death’ before ‘dishonor’, I meant alphabetically.

When shooting a mime, don’t use a silencer or his friends will hear you.

Hurricanes are like women : when they come, they’re wet and wild, but when they leave they take your house and car.

A little necrophilia never killed anyone.

Dyslexics Of The World Untie.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

I don’t find it hard to meet expenses. They’re everywhere.

Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep.

I am going to call my kids Ctrl, Alt and Delete. Then if they screw up I will just hit them all at once.

I got cold hard cash for Christmas. Five bucks frozen in a block of ice.

Being dyslexic has drawbacks. I once went to a toga party dressed as a goat.

He who laughs last probably does not get the joke.

I miss you like a retard misses the point.

Don’t steal. The government hates competition.

You know you have a small apartment when Rice Krispies echo.

Ninety-nine percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

Why is the place you drive on is a parkway, and the place you park on is the driveway?

If a wolf can take down a deer from either flank, does that make him bambidextrous?

I went to a restaurant that served breakfast at anytime, so i ordered french toast during the renaissance.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

If you smacked a kid in the face with a bottle of Johnson’s No More Tears, would it create beautiful irony?

Imagine there were no hypothetical situations.

Children in the dark cause accidents, accidents in the dark cause children.

Depression is just anger without enthusiasm.

I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.

Who’s General Failure & why is he reading my disk?

Tennis is a fickle sport. No matter how good you are at it, a wall will always be better.

He’s so far in the closet he’s in Narnia.

Before you insult a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you insult him, you’ll be a mile away, and have his shoes.

I still miss my ex-girlfriend, but my aim is improving.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

The noblest of dogs is the hot dog, it feeds the hand that bites it.

Why do we call them buildings when they’re finished? Shouldn’t they be called Builts?

Screw me if I’m wrong, but have we met before?

Always remember that you are unique; just like everyone else.

Indecision is the key to flexibility.

The Vending Machine Theory : “Stuff tastes better when it falls”.

It appears the location of my fist and your head are not mutually exclusive! It is a probability miracle!

Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Climate Change Explained…

climate change

Beef Jerky Underwear… Those Rivets Are Gonna Cut Your Gums Though…

beef jerky underwear

The Bride?… Or A Bridesmaid?… Either Way, I’ve Gone Blind…

Wedding Trash

Life Is All About The Ass…

ass

The Bugatti Veyron 16.4 – $1.4M Worth Of Automotive Whup-Ass

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This car has a 1000 horsepower 16 cylinder engine and goes from zero to sixty in less than two seconds.  It’s brakes will bring you to a complete stop in less time than that.  It’s top speed is 253 mph. It’s interior is done up in leather from cows raised so high up in the Swiss Alps that there are no bugs to bite or sting the cows… This leaves the skins pristine. There will only be 300 made and 200 are already gone.  Bugatti will be happy to take your deposit… That is if you’re a previous customer… And you don’t mind the car having over 250 test miles on it when you take delivery.

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Bugatti Veyron interior

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Bugatti Veyron side view

Bugatti_Veyron_16.4_1 rear view

Bugatti Veyron collage

See More HERE and HERE

The Ultimate Swiss Army Knife… Put That In Your Pocket…

This beast of a knife weighs about a kilogram or almost 2.75 pounds… And It’ll Only Cost You Around $800… But you get a display case!  You’ll also need a pocket about 9 inches deep to carry it.

worlds_biggest_swissarmyknife

Here’s the specs…

  • Corkscrew
  • Wood Saw
  • Nail File/Cleaner
  • Reamer
  • Scissors
  • Toothpick and Tweezers
  • Phillips Screwdriver
  • Inside Wire Cutter
  • Fish Scaler
  • Fish Disgorger
  • Golf Green Repairer
  • Bottle Opener / Caplifter
  • Can Opener
  • Whistle
  • Serrated lock blade
  • Small phillips screwdriver
  • Slip-joint pliers
  • Wire crimper
  • Outside wire cutter
  • Bit holder
  • 2/3 serrated blade
  • Semi-round nose pliers
  • Wire cutter
  • Nut wrench
  • Integrated screwdrivers holder
  • Phillips screwdriver bit 0
  • Phillips screwdriver bit 1
  • Phillips screwdriver bit 2
  • Flat screwdriver bit 0.5 x 3.5
  • Flat screwdriver bit 0.6 x 4.0
  • Flat screwdriver bit 1.0 x 6.5
  • Ruler cm/inch
  • Bike chain rivet setter
  • Multi-purpose detachable tool
  • 4mm curved hexagonal male key
  • 4 sided curved key
  • 10mm hexagonal key
  • All purpose wrench
  • Pen blade
  • Round phillips screwdriver
  • Special design blade
  • Golf reamer
  • Round pointed blade
  • Combined tool – screwdriver, can opener, cap lifter
  • Stud key golfer
  • Hexagonal screwdriver 4mm
  • Blade
  • Special file
  • Cigar cutting scissors
  • Special screwdriver
  • Special phillips screwdriver
  • Ski wax scraper
  • Magnifier
  • Precision screwdriver
  • Special shortix key
  • Minathor toolbox with implements
  • Metal file
  • Metal saw

giant-swiss-army-knife

You can buy it HERE

Almost Nasty Jokes…

Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?
A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.

Q.What is the difference between ‘ ooooooh‘and ‘ aaaaaaah‘?
A. About three inches.

Q. What do a Christmas tree and priests have in common?
A. Their balls are just for decoration.

Q. What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?
A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball

Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A. They don’t have balls to scratch.

Remember When You Could Get Chloroform At Your Local Pharmacy?…

chloroform love

VIP Toilet?!?… Can You Imagine What The Facilities For The Regular Shlubs Are Like??

vip toilet