A Joke Contest!

Say No To Crack has jokes… lots of jokes… In fact… They’ve got a contest going..,. Here’s a few:

1. An Irishman walks out of a bar.

2. So a baby seal walks into a club…

3. Bear walks into a bar, says to the bartender “Gimme a drink”…

The bartender says “hey, we don’t serve animals in here”…

The bear says “gimme a drink or I’ll eat this woman right here”…

The bartender still refuses, and the bear eats the woman right up. “Gimme a drink, now”, he says.

The bartender, steadfast, says “we don’t serve animals, and we certainly don’t serve animals on drugs.”

The bear seems taken aback, “on drugs?”

The bartender: “Well, that was a bar bitch you ate”…

(read the last line out loud if you don’t get it)…

Read ‘em all HERE

He, She Or It… It Ain’t Pretty!

Bike Butt

Mirror Image…

monkey mirror

That Jesus Guy Was Pretty Cool…

jesus on dino

Somehow… That Fist Looks Like It Belongs There…

hulk

A Natural Disaster In The Making…

Hungry

Regular?…. Or Premium?

fiil er up

I Had A Slight Hangover This Morning…

kitty sponge

I’m not Sure WHAT To Make Of This One… Holy Smoke!

pope gun

My Friend Pancho Speaks Spanglish…

And before anyone gets their knickers twisted over some imagined PC slight… I really do have a friend named Pancho… And he did send this email…. So Shaddup!

> BUDWEISER: Your ruca has a nice looking ass BUDWEISER face so ugly?
>
> BODYWASH: I can’t go to tha cantina tonite cuz no BODYWASH my kids.
>
> SHOULDER : My tia wanted 2 become a citizen but she didn’t know how to read so I SHOULDER.
>
> COCKATOO: My friend was in the bathroom and I told him to hurry because I had to go COCKATOO!
>
> SODAS: My vieja has beeg tatas and SODAS her sister.
>
> JUICY: Hey vato, I will roll the joint, and ju tell me if JUICY the cops!!!
>
> JUAREZ: My viejita slapped me and I said JUAREZ your damn problem!
>
> TISSUE: Hey vato if you don’t know how to do it, let me TISSUE how!
>
> HEATER: My lil sister started to choke…Perro my mom told me to HEATER in the back!
>
> BRIEF: Hey homes, my lady farted in the car and I couldn’t BRIEF!
>
> JULY : Ju tol me ju were going to tha store and JULY to me!… Julyer!!!
>
> MUSHROOM : When my familia gets in the car……There’s not MUSHROOM left!
>
> CHEESE : I went to dis bar and some vato try to hit up on my vieja. I said ay vato CHEESE with me!!
>
> TEXAS : My pinche friend always TEXAS me with dumb jokes.
>
> WATER : My vieja gets mad and I don’t even know WATER problem is!
>
> HERPES : Me & my ruca order some pizza, I got my piece & she got HERPES.
>
> HIGHWAY : I turned around in bed, looked at my wife and said HIGHWAY! Put some make-up on cabrona…you scared me!
>
> HORCHATA : You can keep talking your crap, HORCHATA hell up!
>
> FRITO :After arguing with the pinche policia he told me I was FRITO go!

My Wife… PMS Day 1…

PMS Day 1

Is This The Boogey Man?!?

leaf face

For Corey… All Hail Chan!!

Chan

We’ve Gone Over 100K Visitors For One Month…Thanks!

 June 2008

For the first time ever… LCO has had over 100,000 unique visitors within one month.  We went from 17 visitors less than a year ago to 101K for June.  I’ll admit that I never expected that anyone would be interested in the rantings of a cockeyed lunatic…. I started this thing to lower my blood pressure… It seems  that there are lots of folks that are also cockeyed lunatics with blood pressure issues…

And… It would seem that the world has no shortage of people and governments that insist on doing ridiculous stuff for us to point and laugh at.

baby makin

Got Any Of This On Your Hard Drive?…

copying crap

Microsoft and Apple should give us one of these windows to let us know when we’re downloading or copying crap…

We Are NOT Responsible For Damage To Your Car From Shopping Carts In Our Parking Lot…

cart damage

Parent Of The Year?… He’s Got My Vote…

Why do we let them breed!?!?

Idiot parent

I Said That Last One Gave Me Diarrhea?… This One Made Me Projectile Vomit…

kiss bush

George Carlin’s Take On Death… R.I.P. George… We’ll Miss You…

It’s nine minutes long… But it’s hilarious… In George’s Truthful Way…

Not Exactly Safe For Work… Language.

Please Throw Your Trash In The Can… Or Else!

Those Thais can be murder!

please thai

Personally… I Think We’ve Got Overkill Going On Here…

backup plan

Expose My Man Boobs In The Snow… Not My Idea Of A Fun Day…

man boobs

Is This What We’d Call Irony?

Not sure what his point is… But I think get it….

irony

Hey Kids !… I Found Nemo!

Found Nemo

To All My Friends…

friendship piss