I find you to be a cat litter munching, moronic, dead carp dickwad, who talks like an inbred teletubbie. Your dog is a mutant leaking pickle barrel who serves a sick minded, blockheaded, drippy donkey. Go drool on somebody else, you godforsaken wastrel bat out of hell, who inhabits the body of a mangled, abysmal, […]
Cursed be your mother’s anus. Cursed be your father’s testicles. – Traditional Yoruba verbal duelling curse An Englishman will burn his bed to catch a flea. – Traditional Turkish proverb He lied like an eye witness. – Russian proverb I shit on the balls of your dead ones. – Traditional Spanish gypsy curse May the […]
AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE WOMEN ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO […]
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1. The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi. 2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian. 3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still. 4. A […]
CEO — Chief Embezzlement Officer CFO — Corporate Fraud Officer BULL MARKET — A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius. BEAR MARKET — A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex. VALUE INVESTING […]
Sarah Palin doesn’t need any help being a caricature… Sending in phony pics just adds to the background noise. If you’re going to be a scurrilous ass… At least pay attention to the phone number on the window… Stupid.
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