Los Cuatro Ojos

Sleep Hanger… I’ve Prayed For These… What Happened?!?

I’ve Been Following This Federal WallStreet Bailout Mess… This Lady Says It For Me…

If I’m gonna be on the hook for $10,000 of my tax money… I want collateral!

Hmmm… Never Thought About Prayer Exactly That Way…

A Small Tribute To Beer…

Beer Banzi… The Love Of Beer Transcends Species… Beer Can Make Us Defy Authority… Beer Can Make One Reach Beyond The Normal… Beer Helps You Hang On When Things Get Tough…

Another WTF?!?! Moment… Anal Bleaching?!?… Anal Bleaching?!?

 Hey!… Let’s see if we can get either Obama or McCain to comment on this… From The Village Voice “Is there any way of making my anus more pink or lighter in color? Mine is dark and I hate it. Any suggestions?” I received this question from a female reader of my Anal Advisor column […]

An Exchange Similar To This Took Place At My House…

The Boy Is Sill Alive!… I’d Be Dead.

Some States Require A Passport To Vote?!?!.. This Is Nuts!

From Newsweek… In Crawford, Indiana…the court upheld an Indiana law essentially requiring a passport or driver’s license in order to vote. But more than two thirds of Indiana adults have no passports and nearly 15 percent have no driver’s licenses. These eligible voters, disproportionately African-American, will need to take a bus or catch a ride […]

Lipstick On A Pig… America’s Descent Into Idiocracy…

The newsies all wring their hands and tsk..tsk..tsk about how ridiculous this lipstick on a pig brouhaha is… But they play it up over and over again. CNN…MSNBC…FOX…ABC…CBS…The friggin BBC for cryin’ out loud! “Did he?…or Did he not?!?”… More after these messages! And the call-ins!.. OMG!! People have worked themselves into a tizzy on […]

Need To Take Wednesday Off… Gotta Go Be Poked & Prodded

They’ll pump me full of Versed so I can’t remember what nasty things they’ll do to me… And then they’ll reach in as far as they can… Both ends! Then they’ll get REALLY busy … But I’ve got a tough old hide…. And I should be just fine! See You Thursday!…

This Is Why I Give All Fitness Buffs The Finger!…

Jim Fixx, who wrote “The Complete Book of Running” and lectured about how running and a healthy diet would promote longevity, dropped dead from a heart attack while running. An autopsy revealed he had 3 massively blocked heart arteries.

WTF?!!?.. That’s Just Downright Nasty!

Is There No End To How Ridiculously Stupid People Can Be?… I Guess If There Was… There’d Be No Need For This Blog.

How To Tell When You’re All Grown Up…

What A Day!

I am officially paranoid. The day after I posted my Rant on Earthlink… My main hard drive goes belly up… We’re talking corrupted. Badly.  None of my utilities worked… Disk Utility… DiskWarrior… Nothing.   I couldn’t even restore with Time Machine.  We’re talking panic here… Meltdown, Pee-your-pants, Have-a-drink, Scream-at-the-kids, Woe-is-me Meltdown. And of course my […]

I’m Still In ISP Hell… Enjoy These Links…

Corkscrew-Balloon Has A Couple Of Goodies… Including The Beloit College Mindset List The Craziest Shoes From Around The World Nanny Goats In Panties Has A Beef With Blister Packaging Man Almost Loses Penis Humping Steel Bench   Online Alarm Clock   10 Most Bizarre Vending Machines in Japan

Earthlink’s Customer Service Is Worse Than Their Tech Support… That’s Pretty Bad.

Here I Am Paying For DSL Service And I’m Sitting In A Mickey D’s To Put This Post Out… Shameful!!! I’ve been with Earthlink for 12 years and I’ve never been real crazy about their support system… But I’ve put up with it because… Well… Because I’m stupid. My DSL modem sits there with all […]

My ISP Is Causing Me To Experience Existential Angst… I’m Sending Them A Box Of Chocolate Anuses.

My ISP Is Balking At Sending Out A Replacement Modem And I’m Dropping My Connection Every 10 Minutes Now… If They Give Me ONE MORE Excuse… I’m Naming Them In A Really Nasty Post… Fortunately…My Cousin Works For Them And Reads This Blog Regularly… Hey Ray!… Can You Help A Fella Out?!?!?

Emo – Goth Valentine… I’m Thinking…EEewwww!!

To Mrs. FourEyes… I’d take a bullet for ya sweetie… But I ain’t cutting myself for ya.

My ISP Is On My Sh*t List… Couldn’t Post All Day…

I Tried Posting  At Midnite… And Then Again At Noon… This Is How I Felt By 11pm…

Using A Segway To Push A Baby Stroller… This Just Seems Wrong…

If This Babyfaced S.O.B. Is Packing Heat… We’re All In Trouble.

Everyone’s PIN Number Published On The Web!! Horrors!!

Oh My!.. Some Devilishly Dastard Demon Spawn Has Finally Done It… They’ve Posted Everyone’s… And I Mean Everyone’s Personal PIN Number On The Web… Lot’s Of Mine Are There… You’d Better Get Right Over There! Those monsters have finally gone and done it!!! What Are We Gonna Do!?!? Is YOUR PIN Number HERE?

How They Cleaned Up The JFK International Airport Luggage Debacle…

JFK Airport Loses Everyone’s Luggage

Amen Brother!!

Is Eating Fish Good For You?..Even If It’s A Mutant Fish?

Then Again… If It’s Got Two Mouths… It’s Easier To Catch… Right?

Another WTF?!? Moment… Can Anyone Explain This One?…

Maybe We Need To See Figure 2…