And even if someone did steal it… Would’nt they just end up ripping the undercarriage off because they wouldn’t know it was chained underneath?
I’m not a real big fan of prohibiting folks from doing what they want… But these guys are really pushing the envelope… Check out their web site HERE.
Do You Want Your Teens Messing With This Stuff?… What about when a carload of your kids gets stopped by a cop who hauls their butts in? You’ve still gotta go get em outa jail!
Guaranteed that this crap starts out in all of the low income neighborhood convenience stores first.
I VOTE NO ON THIS ONE!!…
Call Your Councilperson, Your Mayor, And Your Federal Rep… Tell ‘em You Don’t Want This Crap Sold In Your Town!!
It comes in a vial with a mirror and fake credit card.
Little white car fell in the water… No prob!! … Our big ol’ crane will just winch it right out of there… Gonna cost you an arm and a leg though…
We got it!! ..Doesn’t look too bad either…
Almost there!
Oops!
Not To Worry!… We got another crane!
Just about got it!
We’ll Just Put The Car Behind The Crane…
Now We’ll Get Our Crane Out…
Aw Shit!… The White Car Goes Back In Along With The Crane!!
He’s Got The White Car Out Again!
Yield: 12
Orange Slice Jello Shots
Ingredients:
- 2 x oranges
- 1 pkg orange-flavored Jello
- 1/2 cup Vodka
Directions:
- Slice oranges in half. Using a spoon, scoop out all the flesh and divider pith. Reserve.
- In a medium bowl, add Jello and 1/2 cup boiling water. When Jello has dissolved, add vodka. Pour liquid Jello into orange halves. Refrigerate for approximately 4 hours, or until firm. To serve, slice each half into 3 wedges.
REMEMBER… YOU ARE SERVING SOLID BOOZE.
After 13 years on top… Bill Gates is no longer the richest man in the world. That honor now belongs to his friend and sometimes bridge partner Warren Buffett.
Riding the surging price of Berkshire Hathaway stock, Buffett has seen his fortune swell to an estimated $62 billion, up $10 billion from a year ago.
Gates is now worth $58 billion and is ranked third richest in the world. He is up $2 billion from a year ago, but would have been as rich–or richer–than Buffett, had Microsoft not made an unsolicited bid for Yahoo! at the beginning of February. Mexican telecom mogul Carlos Slim Helú now ranks as the world’s second richest person with a net worth of $60 billion.
See THE LIST at Forbes.com
Listen To The Video… If You Hear This Noise Coming Out Of Your Wife’s Nightstand…
FOR THOSE WHO LOVE THE PHILOSOPHY OF AMBIGUITY, as well as the idiosyncrasies of English:
1. DON’T SWEAT THE PETTY THINGS AND DON’T PET THE SWEATY THINGS.
2. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA, FLOOR.
3. ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION.
4. IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS AND APES?
5. THE MAIN REASON THAT SANTA IS SO JOLLY IS BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHERE ALL THE BAD GIRLS LIVE.
6. I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, “WHERE’S THE SELF-HELP SECTION?” SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE.
7. WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?
8. IF A DEAF PERSON SIGNS SWEAR WORDS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS WITH SOAP?
9. IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF, IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION?
10. IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?
11. WHERE DO FOREST RANGERS GO TO “GET AWAY FROM IT ALL?”
12. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN ENDANGERED PLANT?
13. IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES?
14. WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK?
15. WHY DO THEY LOCK GAS STATION BATHROOMS? ARE THEY AFRAID SOMEONE WILL CLEAN THEM?
16. IF A TURTLE DOESN’T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED?
17. CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS?
18. IF THE POLICE ARREST A MIME, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT?
19. WHY DO THEY PUT BRAILLE ON THE DRIVE-THROUGH BANK MACHINES?
20. HOW DO THEY GET DEER TO CROSS THE ROAD ONLY AT THOSE YELLOW ROAD SIGNS?
21. WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?
22. ONE NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS: THEY DON’T TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE.
23. DOES THE LITTLE MERMAID WEAR AN ALGEBRA?
24. DO INFANTS ENJOY INFANCY AS MUCH AS ADULTS ENJOY ADULTERY?
25. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR?
26. IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DO THE REST DROWN TOO?
27. IF YOU ATE BOTH PASTA AND ANTIPASTO, WOULD YOU STILL BE HUNGRY?
28. IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE?
29. WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD “LISP” TO HAVE “S” IN IT?
30. WHY ARE HEMORRHOIDS CALLED “HEMORRHOIDS” INSTEAD OF “ASSTEROIDS”?
31. WHY IS IT CALLED TOURIST SEASON IF WE CAN’T SHOOT AT THEM?
32. WHY IS THERE AN EXPIRATION DATE ON SOUR CREAM?
33. IF YOU SPIN AN ORIENTAL PERSON IN A CIRCLE THREE TIMES, DO THEY BECOME DISORIENTED?
34. CAN AN ATHEIST GET INSURANCE AGAINST ACTS OF GOD?
Meet Some Of The Other Applicants…
Almost Hired This One…