May
17
2007
U.S. medical scientists say a herpes virus infection has an unexpected up side, at least in mice, since it protects them against bacterial infections. (MORE)
May
17
2007
your father screwed a plant and raised a blooming idiot - unknown
You are a precociously unsightly scoundrel and a deplorable, simple-minded proof that God has a disturbed sense of humor. – Mike
Here comes those I have done good to against my will. – Shakespeare
You know what happens when you assume? You make an ASS out of U and ME – Aunt Mer
The male chromosome is an incomplete female chromosome. In other words the male is a walking abortion; aborted at the gene stage. To be male is to be deficient, emotionally limited; maleness is a deficiency disease and males are emotional cripples.
- Valerie Solanos
May
16
2007
Sorry folks… I can’t post today… Stop by tomorrow
Thanks
May
15
2007
Gigantic Apes Coexisted with Early Humans, Study Finds
A gigantic ape standing 10 feet tall and weighing up to 1,200 pounds lived alongside humans for over a million years, according to a new study.
Fortunately for the early humans, the huge primate’s diet consisted mainly of bamboo.
May
15
2007
One From the Old Days
May
15
2007
In the adding-insult-to-injury department, being pricked multiple times with a needle while a nurse tries in vain to find a vein ranks pretty high. The problem can be acute with infants and the obese.
Jim Larsen, a researcher at the Georgia Institute of Technology, was in the hospital once and required several blood tests. All the poking caused swelling and inflammation in his arms, which made it increasingly difficult for nurses to find his veins.
“It often took seven or eight tries,” Larsen recalls. “It wasn’t long before I felt like a pin cushion.” (MORE)
May
15
2007
You are a preposterously foul narcissist and a decadent, mattress-soiling pulp of stultifying inanity. – Unknown
You should do some soul-searching. Maybe you’ll find one. – anonymous
Don’t be ignorant all your life, take a day off why don’t you? - Zoidberg
I wish I’d known you when you were alive. – Leonard Louis Levinson
May
14
2007
The posts are a bit loopy today… I’m a bit loopy my self… I had outpatient surgery today and I’m a bit doped up. Ahh… Painkillers! The human brain does love opiates… doesn’t it?
May
14
2007
May
14
2007
The Price of Children
Something absolutely positive for a change. I have repeatedly seen the breakdown of the cost of raising a child, but this is the first time I have seen the rewards listed this way. It’s nice.
The government recently calculated the cost of raising a child from birth to 18 and came up with $160,140 for a middle income family. Talk about sticker shock! That doesn’t even include college tuition.
But $160,140 isn’t so bad if you break it down. It translates into:
* $8,896.66 a year,
* $741.38 a month, or
* $171.08 a week.
* That’s a mere $24.24 a day!
* Just over a dollar an hour.
Still, you might think the best financial advice is don’t have children if you want to be “rich.” Actually, it is just the opposite. What do you get for your $160,140?
* Naming rights. First, middle, and last!
* Glimpses of God every day.
* Giggles under the covers every night.
* More love than your heart can hold.
* Butterfly kisses and Velcro hugs.
* Endless wonder over rocks, ants, clouds, and warm cookies.
* A hand to hold, usually covered with jelly or chocolate.
* A partner for blowing bubbles, flying kites.
* Someone to laugh yourself silly with, no matter what the boss said or how your stocks performed that day.
For $160,140, you never have to grow up. You get to:
* finger-paint,
* carve pumpkins,
* play hide-and-seek,
* catch lightning bugs, and
* never stop believing in Santa Claus.
You have an excuse to:
* keep reading the Adventures of Piglet and Pooh,
* watching Saturday morning cartoon s,
* going to Disney movies, and
* wishing on stars.
* You get to frame rainbows, hearts, and flowers under refrigerator magnets and collect spray painted noodle wreaths for Christmas, hand prints set in clay or Mother’s Day, and cards with backward letters for Father’s Day.
For $160,140, there is no greater bang for your buck. You get to be a hero just for:
* retrieving a Frisbee off the garage roof,
* taking the training wheels off a bike,
* removing a splinter,
* filling a wading pool,
* coaxing a wad of gum out of bangs, and coaching a baseball team that never wins but always gets treated to ice cream regardless.
You get a front row seat to history to witness the:
* first step,
* first word,
* first bra,
* first date, and
* first time behind the wheel.
You get to be immortal. You get another branch added to your family tree, and if you’re lucky, a long list of limbs in your obituary called grandchildren and great grandchildren. You get an education in psychology, nursing, criminal justice, communications, and human sexuality that no college can match.
In the eyes of a child, you rank right up there under God. You have all the power to heal a boo-boo, scare away the monsters under the bed, patch a broken heart, police a slumber party, ground them forever, and love them without limits, So . . one day they will, like you, love without counting the cost. That is quite a deal for the price!!!!!!!
Love and enjoy your children and grandchildren!
~To The World You Might Be One Person; But To One Person You Might Be the World~
Well….Since you put it that way.
May
14
2007
While in China, Fred is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom all the time.
A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots.
Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor.
The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells Fred to return in two days for the results.
Fred returns a couple of days later and the doctor says, “I’ve got bad news for you — you’ve contracted Mongolian VD. It’s very rare and almost unheard of here. We know very little about it.”
Fred looks a little perplexed and says, “Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, doc.”
The doctor answers: “I’m sorry, there’s no known cure. We’re going to have to amputate your penis.”
Fred screams in horror, “Absolutely not! I want a second opinion.”
The doctor replies, “Well, it’s your choice. Go ahead if you want, but surgery is your only choice.”
The next day, Fred seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring that he’ll know more about the disease.
The Chinese doctor examines his penis and proclaims: “Ah, yes, Mongolian VD. Very rare disease.”
Fred says to the doctor: “Yeah, yeah, I already know that, but what can we do? My American doctor wants to operate and amputate my penis!”
The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs: “Stupid American doctor, always want to operate. Make more money that way. No need to operate!”
“Oh, Thank goodness!” Fred replies.
“Yes,” says the Chinese doctor. “You no worry! Wait two weeks. Fall off by itself! You save money.
May
14
2007
I don’t think you’re a fool, but what’s my opinion compared to that of thousands of others? – unknown
“We’ve all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.” – Robert Wilensky
Your momma’s mouth is so big she speaks in surround sound. - anonymous
I’d like to break the monotony; where’s your weakest point? - anonymous
May
12
2007
Working on the site. Maybe something new tonight or tomorrow… Stay tuned!
May
11
2007
People say that you are the perfect idiot. I say that you are not perfect but you are doing all right. – unknown
She’s got more chins than the Hong Kong telephone book. – unknown
He’s so ugly, he’d make a freight train take a dirt road! – unknown
Every person has the right to be ugly, but you abused the privilege. - unknown
May
10
2007
Secrets on all kinds of DVD’s
HERE
May
10
2007
Interactive Map of Human Migration
Journey of Mankind
Who were our ancestors? From where did we originate? If we came out of Africa, what factors governed our routes? And when? Now finally this interactive map reveals this epic journey.
May
10
2007
This game is just like Simon… Only on the globe.
May
10
2007
You may have received a forwarded message in your email inbox lately with the following subject: Don’t pump gas on May 15th!!
The idea is that if everyone who sees the email will refuse to fill up their tank on that day “it would take $2,292,000,000.00 (that’s almost 3 BILLION) out of the oil companies pockets for just one day.
Sounds good, until you think about it. Everyone who doesn’t buy fuel that day will have to hit the pumps in the following days, so we figure that those sales will even out Wednesday’s losses. (MORE)
May
10
2007
You must have a very large brain to hold such a vast amount of sheer ignorance. – Anonymous
Your momma’s so dumb she thought Condoleeza Rice was a Mexican Side Dish. - Unknown
You are an irredeemably foolish trollop and a decrepit, gossip-mongering cause of suffering to your parents. – anonymous
You’re so ugly she could scare the moss off a rock! – unknown
May
9
2007
“He has the attention span of a lightning bolt.” – Robert Redford
“He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.”-Forrest Tucker
“Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?”
Mark Twain
You are a precociously subliterate parasite and a vapid, disease-ridden cause of wailing and gnashing of teeth. – Anonymous
