September
4
2013

Hey Miley… Guess What?… Chicken Butt!!!!

Forrest vs Miley

August
28
2013

Beemer Broom…

Beemer Broom

August
28
2013

This Ain’t Snake Oil… It WILL Get The Job Done.

dr assburns

August
27
2013

What I Drank Watching The VMA’s…

ice tea and cubes

August
27
2013

Commonly Known As A “Miley”…

wild hoodrat

August
23
2013

I Can See Sound!

redbull and coffee

August
22
2013

Guess Who’ll Be Tired And Cranky When We Get There?

guess who

August
21
2013

Chicken Chokin…

chokin chikin

August
17
2013

What’re You Lookin At Creep?!?

What you lookin at

August
17
2013

Strange Kids…

Strange Kids

August
15
2013

Greedy Hamster… Looks Like My Place At Thanksgiving…

August
15
2013

Monkey Flowers…

monkey flowers

August
15
2013

She No Haz Had Cheezberger…

No Haz Ceezburger

August
14
2013

Happy Hump Day!!

Hump day

August
14
2013

And You Thought She Spent Serious Time In The Bathroom Now…

Shampoo Bottle

August
13
2013

Showerhead Genius… Thank God For Rednecks!

shower head

August
13
2013

Real Junk In The Trunk…

tree butt

August
2
2013

How America Works…

how america works

August
1
2013

Worst Medicine Combination … Ever.

dangerous combo

August
1
2013

Crime Scene Clean Up Kit…

crime scene kit

July
29
2013

A Hearty Welcome To England’s Prince George!..

Prince George

July
29
2013

Stupid Is Hard… But It’s Funny As Hell.

Recently, when I went to McDonald’s I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets.
I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
‘We don’t have half dozen nuggets,’ said the
teenager at the counter.
‘You don’t?’ I replied.
‘We only have six, nine, or twelve,’ was the reply.
‘So I can’t order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?’
‘That’s right.’
So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets
(Unbelievable but sadly true…)
(Must have been the same one I asked for sweetener,
and she said they didn’t have any, only Splenda and sugar.)

TWO
I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those ‘dividers’ that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn’t get mixed.
After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the
‘divider’, looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it.
Not finding the bar code, she said to me, ‘Do you know how much this is?’
I said to her ‘I’ve changed my mind; I don’t think I’ll buy that today.’
She said ‘OK,’ and I paid her for the things and left.
She had no clue to what had just happened.

( But the lady behind me had a big smirk on her face as I left)

THREE
A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly.
When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM ‘thingy.’

(Keep shuddering!!)

FOUR
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. ‘Do you need some help?’ I asked. She replied, ‘I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can’t get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?’
‘Hmmm, I don’t know. Do you have an alarm, too?’ I asked.
‘No, just this remote thingy,’ she answered,
handing it and the car keys to me. As I
took the key and manually unlocked the door, I
replied, ‘Why don’t you drive over there and
check about the batteries. It’s a long walk….’

PLEASE just lay down before you hurt yourself !!!

FIVE
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, ‘I’m almost out of typing paper. What do I do?’ ‘Just use paper from the photocopier’, the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five ‘blank’ copies.

Brunette, by the way!!

SIX
A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid had eaten ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be fine, the mother says, ‘I just gave him some ant killer……’
Dispatcher: ‘Rush him in to emergency right away’

Life is tough. It’s even tougher if you’re Stupid!!!!

July
28
2013

Age Progression Explained With Condoms…

A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year-old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, “What are these, Dad?”

The man matter-of-factly replies, “Those are called condoms, son. Men use them to have safe sex. “Oh I see,” replied the boys pensively. “Yes, I’ve heard of that in health class at school.”

He looks over the display and picks up a package of three and asks, “Why are there three in this package.”

The dad replies, “Those are for high-school boys. One for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday.”“Cool!” says the boy. He notices a pack of six and asks “Then who are these for?”

“Those are for college men.” the dad answers, “Two for Friday, two for Saturday, and two for Sunday.”

“WOW!” exclaimed the boy. “Then who uses these?” he asks, picking up a 12-pack.

With a sigh, the dad replied, “Those are for married men. One for January, one for February, one for March…”

July
27
2013

Never Try To Improve On Perfection…

Indian Chief ‘Two Eagles’ was asked by a white government official, ‘You have observed the white man for 90 years. You’ve seen his wars and his technological advances. You’ve seen his progress, and the damage he’s done.’

The Chief nodded in agreement.

The official continued, ‘Considering all these events, in your opinion, where did the white man go wrong?’

The Chief stared at the government official for over a minute and then calmly replied.. ‘When white man find land, Indians running it, no taxes, no debt, plenty buffalo, plenty beaver, clean water. Women did all the work, Medicine man free. Indian man spend all day hunting and fishing; all night having sex.’

Then the chief leaned back and smiled. ‘Only white man dumb enough to think he could improve system like that.’

July
27
2013

Philosoraptor Contemplates Beaver Dams…

Beaver Dam