Cool Pics, Just Plain Silly | TheFourEyes May 31, 2009 | 
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How The Interview Went…
A manager at Wal-Mart had the task of hiring someone to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified. He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question.
Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.
The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table, the interviewer asked, ‘What is the fastest thing you know of?’
The first man replied, ‘A THOUGHT.’ It just pops into your head. There’s no warning.
‘That’s very good!’ replied the interviewer.
‘And, now you sir?’, he asked the second man.
“’Hmmm…let me see ‘A blink! It comes and goes and you don’t know that it ever happened. “A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of.”
‘Excellent!’ said the interviewer. ‘The blink of an eye, that’s a very popular cliche for speed.’
He then turned to the third man, who was contemplating his reply.
‘Well, out at my dad’s ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall there’s a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light on the barn comes on in less than an instant. ‘Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of’.
The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. ‘It’s hard to beat the speed of light,’ he said.
Turning to BUBBA, the fourth and final man, the interviewer posed the same question.
Old Bubba replied, ‘After hearing the previous three answers, it’s obvious to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHEA.’
‘WHAT!?’ said the interviewer, stunned by the response.
‘Oh sure’, said BUBBA. ‘You see, the other day I wasn’t feeling so good, and I ran for the bathroom, but before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had already shit my pants.’
BUBBA is now the new greeter at the local Wal-Mart!
You’ll probably think of this every time you enter a Wal-Mart
Cool Pics, Just Plain Silly | TheFourEyes May 30, 2009 |
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Thou Shalt Not Use iTunes To Create Nuclear Weapons…
This is actually there… Check your End User Agreement.
Cool Pics | TheFourEyes May 29, 2009 |
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AAADD… Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder…
A.A.A.D.D.
KNOW THE SYMPTOMS!! …PLEASE READ!
Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. – Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.
This is how it manifests:
I decide to water my garden…
As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide it needs washing…
As I start toward the garage…
I notice mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier.
I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car…
I lay my car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full.
So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first.
But then I think…
Since I’m going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway… I may as well pay the bills first.
I take my check book off the table, and see that there is only one check left…
My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Pepsi I’d been drinking.
I’m going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Pepsi aside so that I don’t accidentally knock it over.
The Pepsi is getting warm, and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.
As I head toward the kitchen with the Pepsi, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye…
They need water…
I put the Pepsi on the counter and discover my reading glasses that I’ve been searching for all morning.
I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I’m going to water the flowers.
I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote…
Someone left it on the kitchen table…
I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I’ll be looking for the remote, but I won’t remember that it’s on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs…
But first I’ll water the flowers…
I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.
So, I set the remote back on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.
Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.
At the end of the day:
- the car isn’t washed
- the bills aren’t paid
- there is a warm can of Pepsi sitting on the counter
- the flowers don’t have enough water,
- there is still only 1 check in my check book,
- I can’t find the remote,
- I can’t find my glasses,
- and I don’t remember what I did with the car keys…
Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I’m really baffled because I know I was busy all damn day,
and I’m really tired.
I realize this is a serious problem, and I’ll try to get some help for it, but first I’ll check my e-mail….
Do me a favor…
Let Me Know If I’ve Posted This Before…
Because I damn sure don’t remember!
Don’t laugh… If this isn’t you yet… Your day is coming!!
Information, Insults, Jokes, Just Plain Silly | TheFourEyes May 28, 2009 |
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Cool Pics, Insults, Jokes, Just Plain Silly, Rants | TheFourEyes May 27, 2009 |
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Memories From Jean.. An OLD FRIEND ;-) … Old Folks Quiz Included…
If you grew up in a generation before there was fast food, you may want to share some of these memories with your children or grandchildren. Just don’t blame me if they bust a gut laughing.
Growing up isn’t what it used to be, is it?
MEMORIES from a friend :
My Dad is cleaning out my grandmother’s house and he brought me an old Royal Crown Cola bottle. In the bottle top was a stopper with a bunch of holes in it.. I knew immediately what it was, but my daughter had no idea. She thought they had tried to make it a salt shaker or something. I knew it as the bottle that sat on the end of the ironing board to ‘sprinkle’ clothes with because we didn’t have steam irons. Man, I am old.
How many do you remember?
Head lights dimmer switches on the floor.
Ignition switches on the dashboard.
Heaters mounted on the inside of the fire wall.
Real ice boxes.
Pant leg clips for bicycles without chain guards.
Soldering irons you heat on a gas burner.
Using hand signals for cars without turn signals.
Older Than Dirt Quiz :
Count all the ones that you remember not the ones you were told about.
Ratings at the bottom.
1. Blackjack chewing gum
2.Wax Coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water
3. Candy cigarettes
4. Soda pop machines that dispensed glass bottles
5. Coffee shops or diners with tableside juke boxes
6. Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard stoppers
7. Party lines on the telephone
8… Newsreels before the movie
9. P.F. Flyers
10. Butch wax
11. TV test patterns that came on at night after the last show and were there until TV shows started again in the morning. (there were only 3 channels [if you were fortunate])
12. Peashooters
13. Howdy Doody
14. 45 RPM records
15… S& H greenstamps
16. Hi-fi’s
17. Metal ice trays with levers
18. Mimeograph paper
19. Blue flashbulbs
20. Packards
21. Roller skate keys
22. Cork popguns
23. Drive-ins
24. Studebakers
25. Washing Machines with wringers
If you remembered 0-5 = You’re still young
If you remembered 6-10 = You are getting older
If you remembered 11-15 = Don’t tell your age,
If you remembered 16-25 = You’re older than dirt!
I might be older than dirt but those memories are some of the best parts of my life.
Cool Pics, Jokes, Just Plain Silly | TheFourEyes May 26, 2009 |
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