December
1
2009
The next time you’re having a bad day, imagine this: You’re a Siamese Twin. Your brother, attached at your shoulder, is gay. You’re not. …
He has a date coming over tonight.
You only have one ass.
Feel better?
November
29
2009
These Fantastic Origami Creations Are By Wan Park…
Koi
Tank
Penguin
Dragon
Camera
Crab
Bat
Shark
Jacket
Toilet
Spider
Scorpion
Butterfly
November
29
2009
This video illustrates how empires decay and devolve and what a short time it takes for a seemingly invincible empire to become just another nation. Examples not shown are The Soviet Empire and the American Empire. But history won’t be cheated… All empires fall.
Best Viewed At Full Screen…
Visualizing empires decline from Pedro M Cruz on Vimeo.
This is mainly an experimentation with soft bodies using toxi’s verlet springs.
The data refers to the evolution of the top 4 maritime empires of the XIX and XX centuries by extent. The visual emphasis is on their decline.
More on that project http://mondeguinho.com/master/visual-experimentations/visualizing-empires
UPDATE – some minor fixes: no flickering and more robust simulation.
November
27
2009
And Of Course… Now That Your Appetite Is Whetted…
November
26
2009
May your stuffing be tasty
May your turkey be plump,
May your potatoes and gravy
Have never a lump.
May your yams be delicious
And your pies take the prize,
And may your Thanksgiving dinner
Stay off your thighs!
November
25
2009
Reviews For Paid Software Via Toptenreviews.com
Reviews For Free Software Via StoneTechBlog.com
November
25
2009
November
24
2009
An elderly couple, Sam and Bessie, are “snowbirds” in Arizona.Sam always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots. Seeing some on sale one day, he buys them, wears them home, walking proudly. He walks into the house and says to his wife, “Notice anything different about me?”
Bessie looks him over, “Nope.”
Frustrated Sam storms off into the bathroom, undresses, and walks back into the room completely naked except for the boots.
Again he asks, a little louder this time, “Notice anything different NOW?”
Bessie looks up and says, “Sam, what’s different? It’s hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, and it’ll be hanging down again tomorrow.”
Furious, Sam yells, “AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT’S HANGING DOWN BESSIE?! IT’S HANGING DOWN BECAUSE IT’S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!”
To which Bessie replies, “Shoulda bought a hat Sam… ya shoulda bought a hat.”
November
23
2009
1. Q. What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain on the ground?
A. Shoot him again.
2. Q. How can you tell when a man is well-hung?
A. When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck & the noose.
3. Q. Why do little boys whine?
A. Because they’re practicing to be men.
4. Q. How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. One – he just holds it up there & waits for the world to revolve around him.
OR. Three – one to screw in the bulb, two to listen to him brag about the screwing part.
5. Q. What do you call a handcuffed man?
A. Trustworthy.
6. Q. What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath & calling your name?
A. You didn’t hold the pillow down long enough.
7. Q. Why does it take 100,000,000 sperm to fertilize one egg?
A.Because not one will stop and ask directions.
8. Q. Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
A. To stop the snoring before it starts.
9. Q: Why do men whistle when they’re sitting on the toilet?
A: Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
10. Q: What is the difference between men and women…
A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need.. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.
11. Q: How does a man keep his youth?
A: By giving her money, furs and diamonds.
12. Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder to “instruction manuals”
November
22
2009
November
22
2009
Well... Technically It's A Blunt...
November
21
2009
November
21
2009
Little Johnny hears noises coming from his parent’s bedroom and opens the door to find mom folded over the dresser naked and dad banging her hard from behind.
Dad looks at Johnny, smiles and gives him a wink. Johnny closes the door and walks away.
Later that day dad is walking down the hall and hears a commotion in Johnny’s room. He opens the door to find grandma naked bent over the dresser and Johnny humping her hard from behind.
Screaming, dad enters the room and demands to know what the hell is going on and what does Johnny think he’s doing!?!?
Still visibly angry, Little Johnny looks up at his dad and says, “Not so funny when it’s your mom, is it?”
November
21
2009
She is not a babe or chick…she is a breasted American
She does not scream or moan..she is verbally appreciative
She is not easy…she is horizontally accessible
She is not dumb…she took a detour off the information superhighway
She has not been around…she is previously enjoyed companion
She is not an airhead…she is reality impaired
She is not drunk or tipsy…she is chemically inconvenienced
She is not horny…she is sexually focused
She does not have breast implants…she is medically enhanced
She is not a nag..she is verbally repetitive
She is not a slut…she is sexually extroverted
She does not have major league hooters…she is pectorally superior
She is not a two-bit whore…she is a low cost provider
