Texans Tend To Think Highly Of Themselves…

Texas vs Taliban:

A large group of Taliban soldiers are moving down a road when they hear a voice call from behind a sand-dune. “One Texas soldier is better than  ten Taliban.
The Taliban commander quickly sends 10 of his best soldiers over the dune whereupon a gun-battle breaks out and continues for a few minutes, then silence.
The voice then calls out, “One Texan is better than a hundred Taliban soldiers.” *Furious, the Taliban commander sends his next best 100 troops over the dune and instantly a huge gunfight commences… After 10 minutes of  battle, again silence.
The Texan voice calls out, “One Texan is better than one thousand Taliban”.   The enraged Taliban Commander musters a thousand fighters and sends them over the dune… Cannon, rocket and machine gun fire rings out as a huge battle is fought. Then silence.
Finally one wounded Taliban fighter crawls back over the dune and with his dying words tells his commander, “Don’t send any more men, its a trap”…

“There’s two of them.”

Dead Duck:

An Englishman had visited Texas and was telling his friends about his trip. One fellow asked, “What most impressed you about Texans”.
He replied, “Their confidence. A Texan took me duck hunting and we sat in a blind all day and never saw a thing. Then about sundown a lone duck flew overhead, so high you could hardly see it. When it was directly overhead the Texan raised his shotgun and fired.
The duck kept right on flying”.

Then the Texan turned to me in amazement and said, “Son, yore witnessing a miracle. Thar flies a dead duck”.

Ten Commandments, Cowboy Style.

Cowboy’s Ten Commandments posted on the wall
at Cross Trails Church in Fairlie, Texas:

  1. Just one God.
  2. Honor yer Ma & Pa.
  3. No telling tales or gossipin’ .
  4. Git yourself to Sunday meeting.
  5. Put nothin’ before God.
  6. No foolin’ around with another fellow’s gal.
  7. No killin’.
  8. Watch yer mouth.
  9. Don’t take what ain’t yers.
  10. Don’t be hankerin’ for yer buddy’s stuff