Cool Stuff, Information, Just Plain Silly | TheFourEyes December 19, 2007 | 
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Even In Worship… Selfishness Can Lead To Ugliness…
Black-Nosed Buddha
A nun who was searching for enlightenment made a statue of Buddha and covered it with gold leaf. Wherever she went she carried this golden Buddha with her.
Years passed and, still carrying her Buddha, the nun came to live in a small temple in a country where there were many Buddhas, each one with its own particular shrine.
The nun wished to burn incense before her golden Buddha. Not liking the idea of the perfume straying to others, she devised a funnel through which the smoke would ascend only to her statue. This blackened the nose of the golden Buddha, making it especially ugly.
HAS THIS KIND OF SELFISHNESS EVER OCCURRED IN YOUR CHURCH?
Real Courtroom Testimonies… And We Pay For These Lawyers-
These are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, “Where am I, Cathy?”
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan.
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh…
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Huh?
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
Leopard Update
So I’m posting from Mac OS X Leopard for a couple of days now… So far… So good.
I’m pleasantly surprised at how easy the switch was… Leopard went in and grabbed everything including my applications and settings and they all seem to work okay with the exception of Google Earth… And I just need to download an update. Even PhotoShop works. Norton AntiVirus and all of the third party applications I had seem to work too.
CoverFlow in the folders is cool… But I found out that it works too good! CoverFlow will even show images in supposedly “secret” folders (porn) that previously were well stashed… Just go to “All Images” in the “Search For” pane and Leopard will bring up every picture on the computer! … Same for “All Movies”… Fair Warning! Get yourself a spare external drive that you can keep locked away!
We had fun with “Screen Sharing” … It’s so easy to swap computers with someone! I ask for permission to share screens from a chat window… And if accepted… I instantly get your screen on my computer… I am literally sitting in your seat! I can do anything you can do. No more 2 hour phone calls trying to figure out what the heck someone is trying to describe is happening to their machine! I can also only give viewing rights so that I can show someone exactly how to do something… They literally see me do it. I can even do a theater type thing where I can put my screen on more than one computer anywhere and run through a Powerpoint or anything I want them to see. Seriously Impressive, Mr. Jobs!
And before anyone gets antsy about security… I un-check one box and my machine is locked back down. And there’s a flashing red icon that lets me know that my screen is being shared. It’s also easy to set up a list of people who are allowed to request screen sharing. It’s a buddy list that I can block and lock from.
So Far … So Good… I like it.
Next… Gripes
Cool Stuff, Information | TheFourEyes December 18, 2007 |
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Home Remedies That Produce A State of Euphoria
PINK SALMON, GREEN VEGGIES AND BLUEBERRIES
12/06/2007: Rachel from Baldwin, WI writes: “re: euphoria remedies — I have found that after eating pink salmon, followed by green veggies and then 1/2 cup of blueberries, I get extremely happy, almost giddy. The first time it happened, I didn’t realize that it was from what I ate and forgot about it. Then on another day, I ate the same thing and it happened again; and found that it repeatedly works for me. I don’t know if it would work for everyone, but for me it is a depression cure!”
ACV, BAKING SODA, CAYENNE PEPPER AND HOT WATER
11/06/2007: Sharon from Boston, MA writes, “I just discovered that ACV, baking soda, and cayenne produces an almost instantaneous state of euphoria! I have been taking acv for years, more recently acv and baking soda, but never with the cayenne. I always felt very energized from acv, but didn’t feel like it was adjusting my brain chemistry. This remedy does. This is going to sound strange, but it makes me feel closer to God. I don’t know how else to explain the sensation.
This is what I do:
2 tablespoons of apple cider vinegar,
1/8th teaspoon of baking soda and
5 shakes of cayenne pepper
in a glass of hot water.
Be careful not to stand too close to the glass after adding the cayenne or you will inhale it, especially once those acv and baking soda bubbles get activated. Sip slowly, stirring the cayenne every so often. When the drink cools down, add more hot water. Drink on an empty stomach, if possible. I usually take it in the late afternoon, when I am feeling sleepy.
I hope others will try it to and let me know if they are experiencing the same results. It might also be a very effective PMS remedy, I don’t know. Will send an update later on in the month!”
CAYENNE
10/18/2007: Lisa from Newton, MA writes: “Hi, I started to put a bit of Cayenne pepper, along with some lemon juice into my morning tea, as an immune booster, but, I must say, I have found that I have been in an extremely energetic and jovial mood. I had not noticed this until yesterday, my 3rd day doing this regimen—just thought I would share.”
APPLE CIDER VINEGAR
9/23/2007: Michelle from Winfield, Kansas, USA writes: “I began using acv a few weeks ago at a small dose of 1 tsp. per day. After two weeks I noticed I was sleeping better and that my dreams were better. Rather than dark and heavy, my dreams were becoming more and more light-hearted. I actually woke myself up laughing the night before. I don’t know if I can attribute this to acv, but I suppose it’s possible…”
Courtesy of EarthClinic.com
Do You Use Mac OS X?… Did You Know This?!?
My 12 year old was doing this yesterday and I was shocked! I asked him how he knew it and he said he’d found it a couple of weeks ago…
Hold down “control” and scroll forward with your mouse wheel.
Then:
Move your mouse around at the same time.
Cool.
Color Psychology…Do different colors affect your mood?
While blue is one of the most popular colors it is one of the least appetizing. Blue food is rare in nature. Food researchers say that when humans searched for food, they learned to avoid toxic or spoiled objects, which were often blue, black, or purple. When food dyed blue is served to study subjects, they lose appetite.
Green, brown, and red are the most popular food colors. Red is often used in restaurant decorating schemes because it is an appetite stimulant.
Cool Pics, Cool Stuff, Information, Jokes, Just Plain Silly, Rants, Uncategorized, Videos | TheFourEyes December 17, 2007 |
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Roommate From Hell? Butter Him Up!
This video of a roommate’s revenge is a killer! Watch the volume though.
Bad Karma…Prank On Wife Backfires…
While setting up the rubber band sink hose prank always remember to keep the kitchen floor dry. He ended up biting through his tongue, losing 2 teeth and chipping another.
Prank On Wife Backfires – Watch more free videos
OK… This One’s Not Very PC… But I Gotta Admit I Got A Chuckle Or Two Out Of It…
New study says Hispanics and Asians are acting white
Complete with highlighted notes.
Courtesy of 236.com
Information, Just Plain Silly, Rants | TheFourEyes December 16, 2007 |
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Stand By… Murphy’s Law Ahead!
I’m upgrading to OS X Leopard on my main machine… We’ll see how it goes… I’ve already spent the whole day rigging up a new hard drive arrangement… Separate hard drives for 3 different Operating Systems… Should be pretty Stupid Proof… Right?
Will Murphy’s Law Still Bite Me In The Ass?
Stay Tuned…
Cool Stuff, Just Plain Silly | TheFourEyes December 15, 2007 |
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Information, Jokes, Just Plain Silly | TheFourEyes December 14, 2007 |
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16 Things You Shouldn’t Fear (And 16 Things You Should)
Via: HuffingtonPost
What You Shouldn’t Fear:
1. Ditching a secure cubicle for lower pay and an uncertain future in the job where your heart truly lies.
2. Changing your hair, your church, or your opinion.
3. Sweating, outside the bedroom.
4. Traveling to a place where your cell phone is useless.
5. Actually having what you say you want.
6. Leaving the lights on and the curtains open.
7. Your gut reactions.
8. Five pounds.
9. Mixing gold with silver, red with orange, and champagne with plastic glasses.
10. Confessing that you’re a Buddhist, a nudist, or even a conservative Republican.
11. Eating the food on the plane — they’ve solved that fear by not serving it anymore
12. Calling first.
13. Being too shy to talk at a party. If you just listen, everyone will think you’re the most brilliant person there!
14. Going into the sex toy shop. If Sue on Letterman can do it, so can you. And if you can’t, shop online!
15. Tough competition.
16. Carbs, fat and dessert.
What You Should Fear:
1. Letting somebody videotape you having sex.
2. Drinking at lunch.
3. The sentence: We have to talk.
4. Microsoft, Google, and that creepy little hotdog stand down near the subway tracks.
5. Spending more than you earn.
6. Gum disease.
7. Still not knowing whether you want to have kids when you’re edging up on 40.
8. Bears, ticks, and snakes with red and yellow stripes that touch.
9. Okay, let’s just include all snakes in this category.
10. Any doctor who responds to your questions by telling you that you don’t need to know the answer.
11. Any dentist who tells you that you don’t need anything for the pain.
12. Any dog with his ears pricked up, his body pointing forward, and his teeth all too visible.
13. Costume parties.
14. Not having a choice when you’re unexpectedly pregnant.
15. Hydrogenated fats.
16. Being afraid.
Top 8 Morons Of 2007 (So Far)
1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP? AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it’s not Walter who’s lacking intelligence.
2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS: Police in Oakland, CA spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, “Please come out and give yourself up.”
3. WHAT WAS PLAN B? An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, during which the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.
4. THE GETAWAY! A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kiwi Stop and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.
5. DID I SAY THAT? Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn’t control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words, “Give me all your money or I’ll shoot,” the man shouted, “That’s not what I said!”
6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING? A man spoke frantically into the phone, “My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart.” “Is this her first child?” the doctor asked. “No!” the man shouted. “This is her husband!”
7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED! In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun. Unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (Hellooooooo)!
8. THE GRAND FINALE!!! Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn’t get their brand new 22 foot boat, going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power they applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted into a nearby marina, thinking someone there may be able to tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition: The engine ran fine, the out-drive went up and down and the propeller was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard.
They still had the trailer attached to the bottom of the boat.
