Today’s Insults

I hear that when your mother first saw you, she decided to leave you on the front steps of a police station while she turned herself in. – unknown

I believe in respect for the dead; in fact, I could only respect you if you WERE dead. – anonymous

I hear that when your mother first saw you, she decided to leave you on the front steps of a police station while she turned herself in. – unknown

103 Free Security Apps for Mac, Windows and Linux… Go Get Some!!

Pick Them Up HERE

Because of This… Food Is More Expensive… And Now They Don’t Want To Use The Stuff. The Oilmen That Run Our Government Are Very, Very Smart.

Now There’s An Ethanol Glut?! I Thought We Couldn’t Make Enough?!

Wasn’t the main argument against ethanol “we can’t make enough to replace gas”? So if that is true, how can we have a glut of the stuff?

In 2006 when ethanol was selling on the spot market for $4 a gallon, it was too expensive. Now that it is $1.50 a gallon (almost a full dollar cheaper than gas), it isn’t “economically viable for producers”. Are we just going to change the argument to fit the situation at any given moment? (READ MORE)

Oh Mama!… $400K Sweetheart Contract? What About The $50 Billion to Halliburton In Iraq?

The FBI is examining the ties between Housing Secretary Alphonso Jackson and a friend who was paid $392,000 by Jackson’s department as a construction manager in New Orleans, three federal law enforcement officials said Thursday.

Jackson’s friend got the job after the HUD secretary asked a staff member to pass along his name to the Housing Authority of New Orleans, a spokesman for Jackson said in a statement.

At the time, the housing authority was in desperate need of a construction manager because there was a severe shortage of reputable local contractors after Hurricane Katrina, the spokesman for Jackson said. (READ MORE)

“Astronomers Find Gigantic Hole in the Universe”

Scientists have been on a mission to understand the physical properties of dark matter and “dark energy”. Today’s discovery offers more insight for astrophysicists who are studying the Universe’s greatest energy form.

dark hole

University of Minnesota astronomers have found an enormous hole in the Universe, nearly a billion light-years across, empty of both normal matter such as stars, galaxies and gas, as well as the mysterious, unseen “dark matter.” While earlier studies have shown holes, or voids, in the large-scale structure of the Universe, this new discovery dwarfs them all.

“Not only has no one ever found a void this big, but we never even expected to find one this size,” said Lawrence Rudnick of the University of Minnesota astronomy professor. Rudnick, along with grad student Shea Brown and associate professor Liliya Williams, also of the University of Minnesota, reported their findings in a paper accepted for publication in the Astrophysical Journal.

“What we’ve found is not normal, based on either observational studies or on computer simulations of the large-scale evolution of the Universe,” Williams said.

“We already knew there was something different about this spot in the sky,” Rudnick said. The region had been dubbed the “WMAP Cold Spot,” because it stood out in a map of the Cosmic Microwave Background (CMB) radiation made by the Wilkinson Microwave Anisotopy Probe (WMAP) satellite, launched by NASA in 2001. The CMB, faint radio waves that are the remnant radiation from the Big Bang, is the earliest “baby picture” available of the Universe. Irregularities in the CMB show structures that existed only a few hundred thousand years after the Big Bang.

“Although our surprising results need independent confirmation, the slightly lower temperature of the CMB in this region appears to be caused by a huge hole devoid of nearly all matter roughly 6-10 billion light-years from Earth,” Rudnick said.

Excerpted from University of Minnesota news release

Bad Directions!

On a plastic orange juice can: “100% pure all-natural fresh-squeezed orange juice from concentrate.”

I once saw an ad for some type of contest on a candy bar. The wrapper said “No purchase necessary – Details Inside.”

Directions for eating Lunchables Nachos: Dip chips in cheese and salsa.

On a television commercial that says it cleans dentures 4 times better. Below in small print it said “Lab test: (their product) vs. water.

On the label of Sterno is a warning that says, “Do not use near fire or flame.” Check it out!

Inside the Cheapest City in the World

Asuncion is Paraguay’s capital and five times winner of the ‘least expensive city on earth’ title. But can cheap really mean cheerful?

Cathedral de Asuncion

With a bundle of decrepit banknotes in my pocket, I stroll the narrow boulevard of Palma, a mix of 60′s-style financial buildings and Spanish colonial relics that stretches for miles across downtown Asuncion. The harsh heat and the dizzying array of bargains on offer from somnambulant street vendors is making me thirsty. I stumble across a darkened cafe where two waiters with moustaches the size of cactus branches sit asleep on the porch. I nudge them from their slumber and order a glass of wine.

Not yet au fait with the currency of Paraguay, I place the smallest denomination I have on the table. The moustaches wiggle in surprise. Within minutes, four whole bottles of very decent Chilean wine land on my table. ‘Friends come soon?’ one moustache enquires. I thought I knew what a bargain was, but it seems Asuncion was going to make me seriously reassess the concept. (READ MORE)

Today’s Insults –

If you suveyed a hundred typical middle-aged Americans, I bet you’d find that only two of them could tell you their blood types, but every last one of them would know the theme song from the ‘Beverly Hillbillies’.Dave Barry

Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victems he intends to eat until he eats them.Samuel Butler

Most vegetarians look so much like the food they eat that they can be classified as cannibals. Finley Peter Dunne

Everyone has a right to a university degree in America, even if it’s in Hamburger Technology.Clive James

A Short Story That Will Make You Wonder

The Last Question

By Isaac Asimov

Isaac Asimov was the most prolific science fiction author of all time. In fifty years he averaged a new magazine article, short story, or book every two weeks, and most of that on a manual typewriter. Asimov thought that The Last Question, first copyrighted in 1956, was his best short story ever. Even if you do not have the background in science to be familiar with all of the concepts presented here, the ending packs more impact than any other book that I’ve ever read. Don’t read the end of the story first!(THE LAST QUESTION)

Some Quotable Quotes From Albert Einstein

“Science without religion is lame. Religion without science is blind.”

“Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.”

“Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from weak minds.”

The Top Ten Strange and Unusual Japanese Chewing Gums


No time to brush your teeth? No problem – if you’ve got No Time Gum! This multifunctional minty mélange contains tiny granules that scrub your teeth clean as a whistle while you chew. Is this cool, or what? Gum that works as hard as you do while saving you time and, presumably, dentist visits. I can just hear Mom now… “Chew your gum before going to bed!” (chewing gum via J-List)

(READ MORE)

248 Ways To Annoy People

1. Specify that your drive-thru order is “to go.”

2. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

3. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will “swipe your grub.”

4.Name your dog “Dog.”

5. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions “to keep them tuned up.”

6. Reply to everything someone says with “that’s what you think.”

7. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your “astronaut training.”

8. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.

(MORE)

Astronomy Picture of the Day

HERE …. You can see a new pic every day of some space phenomenon

Since The Site Crash Last Week…

I’ve noticed that images in older posts have not been loading… I’m fixing them as fast as possible… I’m all the way back to July and I  have to fix some text also… I can fix about 20 posts per day…

Please be patient!

Do You See The Face In This Picture?? No Not The Man…

Hint: Lean To the Left…

man image

Can’t See It?… Scroll Down…

man image explanation

See It?

Finally… A Coherent Explanation As To How The World Will End!

The End Of The World

I First Became Aware Of This Guy From ThaiVisa and I Personally Think He’s A Scammer… Real or Hoax?… You Decide.

Desolation Row

INTRODUCTION

First, let me say that I am not looking to get rich from this blog. I AM hoping to get $1,000 in donations so I can get a scooter right away. Why? Because living in an isolated area, I need transportation to work. I am looking for jobs, but it’s very difficult without wheels. I had a well-paying job, a nice apartment near the water, and a great four-wheel drive vehicle that was paid for. I threw all of this away to save my wife’s life. She had what appears to me as a nervous breakdown of sorts. I had to put everything into storage, sell my vehicle, and leave my apartment in the course of 24 hours. I got her to her home country, where I wasn’t allowed entry due to a past incident. I will be allowed in in a year and a half. Luckily, I had enough money to buy a ticket home. She left the airport, and I haven’t seen or spoken to her since. That was about two weeks ago. I have since heard from her brother that she tried to commit suicide by jumping off a bridge. She lived, got bruised up, is resting at a hospital, and will be ‘ok’. I do not know how she is physically or mentally. I haven’t spoken to her. This blog will detail the events leading up to this catastrophe and details of my broken life and broken heart. Again, any amount you can donate to help me get transportation so I can work would be greatly appreciated. I see people have donated millions to the MOVEON organization…I need only $1,000. The rest I will manage through hard work.

Very Cool “Flying” Pictures…

flying on the deck

MORE HERE 

What Would It Take For You To Walk Into This Elevator?

Elevator floor

Doctors are able to switch off the part of their brain that helps them appreciate the pain patients experience during treatment,

and instead turn on a brain area that controls emotions, according a study by American and Taiwanese researchers.Because they sometimes have to inflict pain on patients while treating them, doctors have to develop the ability not to be distracted by the suffering of patients, explained co-author Jean Decety, a psychology and psychiatry professor at the University of Chicago.

“They have learned through their training and practice to keep a detached perspective; without such a mechanism, performing their practice could be overwhelming or distressing, and, as a consequence, impair their ability to be of assistance for their patients,” (READ MORE)

This has Happened At My House A Few Times…

LONDON — Super spicy chili sauce being cooked at a London Thai restaurant sparked road closures and evacuations after passers-by complained that the smell was burning their throats, police said Wednesday.

London Fire Brigade’s chemical response team was called after reports that a strong smell was wafting from the restaurant in the heart of London’s Soho district Monday afternoon, a Metropolitan police spokesman said, speaking anonymously in line with force policy.

Authorities sealed off several premises and closed roads. The Times of London described shoppers coughing and spluttering as firefighters wearing special breathing masks sought the source of the smell.

The paper said firefighters smashed down the door of the Thai Cottage restaurant and seized extra-hot bird’s eye chilies which had been left dry-frying. It said they were being prepared as part of a batch of Nam Prik Pao, a spicy Thai dip  (READ MORE)

This Guy Is Going To Wind Up a Statistic I Bet!

Driver turns tables, beats speeding ticket

SEATTLE, Oct. 3 (UPI) — Washington state police say they won’t change a favorite tactic — parking without lights to catch speeders — even though it backfired on them in court.

The Seattle Post-Intelligencer said Tuesday that a motorist turned the tables on the State Patrol recently and beat a speeding ticket after alleging the cop who wrote it had violated the law himself.

Carl Hu contended in traffic court that the State Patrol violated the law when an officer parked on a highway median with his lights off to watch for speeders one night last winter.

Hu apparently convinced the judge that since civilians can’t drive at night with their lights off, police shouldn’t be able to do so either since they are also required to obey all traffic laws.

Although Hu was able to get the ticket dismissed, State Patrol officials told the P-I the judge’s ruling was made without comment and therefore was not a directive to change their operations.

Today’s Insults –

“A fellow with the inventiveness of Albert Einstein but with the attention span of Daffy Duck.” – Tom Shales talking about Robin Williams

“If I found her floating in my pool, I’d punish my dog.”  – Joan Rivers on Yoko Ono

“She was good at being inarticulately abstracted for the same reason that midgets are good at being short.”   – unknown

“America is the only nation in history which has miraculously gone directly from barbarism to degeneration without the usual interval of civilization” – Georges Clemenceau

Got Company Today… Can’t Blog Today… Come Back on Wednesday

flasher

Hee.. Hee.. Hee!!

Ladies talking in Heaven………..

1st woman: Hi! My name is Wanda.

2nd woman: Hi! I’m Sylvia. How’d you die?

1st woman: I Froze to Death.

2nd woman: How Horrible!

1st woman: It wasn’t so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?

2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.

1st woman: So, what happened?

2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere
that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere,and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.

1st woman: Too bad you didn’t look in the freezer—we’d both still be alive.