Los Cuatro Ojos

It’s Monday… Again.

This Is How Tiger… (And Most Men)… Like ‘Em!!

Is It My Imagination… Or Is There Something Odd About Santa’s Sack This Year???

Greeting Cards That Reflect Our REAL Feelings…

This Elephant Tried Some Of Mama’s Chili Sauce…

Some ‘Splainin To Do…

In 20 years of marriage… The husband always insisted on turning off the lights. Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was stupid. She figured she would break him out of the crazy habit. So one night, while they were in the middle of doing it, she turned on the lights. She looked down […]

So… I Just Upgraded My Computer… Didn’t Cost Much At All.

Forget Idle Hands… These Are Satan’s Real Tools…

These Airline Cutbacks Are Getting Out Of Control…

Your Day Could Be Worse…

The next time you’re having a bad day, imagine this: You’re a Siamese Twin. Your brother, attached at your shoulder, is gay. You’re not. … He has a date coming over tonight. You only have one ass. Feel better?

Don’t Need No New Boots…

An elderly couple, Sam and Bessie, are “snowbirds” in Arizona.Sam always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots. Seeing some on sale one day, he buys them, wears them home, walking proudly. He walks into the house and says to his wife, “Notice anything different about me?” Bessie looks him over, “Nope.” Frustrated Sam storms […]

How To Deal With Men… Written By A Woman.

1. Q. What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain on the ground? A. Shoot him again. 2. Q. How can you tell when a man is well-hung? A. When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck & the noose. 3. Q. Why do little boys […]

Male Thought Patterns… It Begins At Birth…

Not So Funny Now… Is It?

Little Johnny hears noises coming from his parent’s bedroom and opens the door to find mom folded over the dresser naked and dad banging her hard from behind. Dad looks at Johnny, smiles and gives him a wink. Johnny closes the door and walks away. Later that day dad is walking down the hall and […]

Serious Gangster Chicks…

How To Talk To Women And Remain Politically Correct…

She is not a babe or chick…she is a breasted American She does not scream or moan..she is verbally appreciative She is not easy…she is horizontally accessible She is not dumb…she took a detour off the information superhighway She has not been around…she is previously enjoyed companion She is not an airhead…she is reality impaired […]

The President Goes To Hell…

George Bush has a heart attack and dies. He goes to hell where the devil is waiting for him. “I don’t know what to do here,” says the devil. “You’re on my list but I have no room for you, but you definitely have to stay here, so I’ll tell you what I’m going to […]

Look What We Found In The Back Yard!..

Let’s Start A New Religion… The Church Of The Universal Geode.

Ladies… Get Him To Try This New Drink…

A woman and her boyfriend are out having a few drinks. While they’re sitting there having a good time together, she starts talking about this really great new drink. The more she talks about it, the more excited she gets, and starts trying to talk her boyfriend into having one. After a while he gives […]

She’s Got Anal Glaucoma?!?!

A woman calls her boss one morning and tells him that she is staying home because she is not feeling well. ‘So, what’s the matter?’ he asks. ‘I have a case of anal glaucoma,’ she says in a weak voice. And what the hell is anal glaucoma?’ ‘I just can’t see my ass coming into […]

You Got It Bass Ackward Miss…

Where Do Babies Come From?… Miss Teen N.C. Tells All…

Miss Teen North Carolina Caitlin Tipton  (She of the garbled U.S. map answer) Goes On Jimmy Kimmel And Accepts An Assignment To Find Out Where Babies Come From…  A gynecologist and the Octomom give her the skinny…

Lotto Irony…

She Needs A Fireman To Come In Her Mouth… Because… She’s Got Heartburn.