Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God’s omnipotence did not extend to His own children. After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing he said was… “DON’T! “ “Don’t what? ” Adam replied. “Don’t eat the forbidden fruit.” God […]
JACK (age 3) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister. After a while he asked: “Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?” MELANIE (age 5) asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she was so old she didn’t remember any more. Melanie said, […]
stressed work Think about this the next time you’re throwing pencils at the wimpy guy in the cubicle next door!
And Me Too After Falling For The Mountain Dew Thing!!
It’s The Great Pumpkin!!!!!
“Hey little girl!.. Do you want a piece of candy?”
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Q: How many animals can you fit into a pair of pantyhose? Now, think about it.. Ready? 10 little piggies 2 Calves 1 Ass ????????????? An Unknown Number of Hares And 1… Well… You Know !!
Upon arriving home, a husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully, she explained, “It’s the pharmacist. He insulted me terribly this morning on the phone. I had to call multiple times before he would even answer the phone.” Immediately, the husband drove downtown to confront the pharmacist and demand an apology. […]
Bar: To take temporarily. “May I bar your eraser?” Dense: A tooth expert. “Yuck! I have a dense appointment today.” Forced: A large cluster of trees. “Only you can prevent forced fires.” Lays: The opposite of genmen. “Lays and genmen,…” Lining: Electrical flash of light. “We abandoned our picnic when we heard the thunder and […]
Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist […]
12. I Hate Coffee–It Keeps Me Awake at Work. 11. Suicide is a way of telling God ‘you can’t fire me, I QUIT!’ 10. A fool and his money are soon partying 9. Some people are alive only because it is illegal to kill them 8. I have a problem with drinking… two hands and […]
A Preacher was explaining that he must move on to a larger congregation that will pay him more… There is a hush within the congregation… No one wants him to leave. Joe Smith, who owns several car dealerships in the City stands up and proclaims, ‘If the Preacher stays, I will provide him with a […]
If you’re easily offended… Don’t go HERE … Personally… I find SeeMikeDraw pretty entertaining…
Look What Grows On Trees!!!!
From Boing Boing TV
Read To Save Your Life HERE
1. Specify that your drive-thru order is “to go.” 2. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others. 3. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will “swipe your grub.” 4.Name your dog “Dog.” 5. Insist […]
Hint: Lean To the Left… Can’t See It?… Scroll Down… See It?
The End Of The World
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