Mildly Ironic… Don’t You Think?…

The Wisdom Of Little Tony…

LITTLE TONY ON MATH (PART 1)

The teacher asks her class, “If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?” She calls on little TONY.
He replies, “None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot.”
The teacher replies, “The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.”
Then little TONY says, “I have a question for YOU.  There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream:
One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream.
The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream.
Which one is married?”
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, “Well, I suppose the one that’s gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.”
To which Little TONY replied, “The correct answer is ‘the one with the wedding ring on,” but I like your thinking.”

LITTLE TONY ON MATH (Part 2)
Little TONY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
“Why?” asks the father?
“The teacher asked ‘How much is 2×3,’” I said “6″, replies TONY.
“But that’s right!” says his dad.
“Yeah, but then she asked me “How much is 3×2?’”
“What’s the hells the difference?” asks the father.
“That’s what I said!”

LITTLE TONY ON ENGLISH
Little TONY goes to school, and the teacher says, “Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?”
TONY says “Mas-tur-bate.”
Miss Rogers smiles and says, “Wow, little TONY, that’s a mouthful.”
Little TONY says, “No, Miss Rogers, you’re thinking of a blowjob.”

LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR
Little TONY was sitting in class one day.  All of a sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom.
He yelled out, “Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!!”
The teacher r eplied, ‘Now, TONY, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation.  The correct word you want to use is ‘urinate.’
Please use the word ‘ur-i-nate’ in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go.”
Little TONY, thinks for a bit, and then says, “You’re an eight, but if you had bigger boobs, you’d be a TEN!”

LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR (Part 2)
One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word “beautiful” in the same sentence twice.  First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, “My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it.”
“Very good, Suzie,” replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael.
“My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully.”She said, “Excellent, Michael!” Then the teacher reluctantly called on little TONY.
“Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said ‘Beautiful, just f…… beautiful!’”

LITTLE TONY ON GETTING OLDER
Little TONY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another.
After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said, “Son, you know eating all that candy isn’t good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat.”
Little TONY replied, “My grandfather lived to be 107 years old.”
The man asked, “Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?”
Little TONY answered, “No, he minded his own f……. business.

Oh Do Da Day!.. Recording From 1911…

Welcome Mats…. Not!!

Hitler’s Disguises… I Used To Work For The Guy At Far Right…

Click To Enlarge

Internet Hole… Rabbit Hole… Six Of One, Half Dozen Of Another…

Either Way ... You Wind Up In Wonderland.

Happy Birthday To Number Two Son!!

Number Two Son is 15 today…

Happy Birthday David!.. Love, Your Four Eyed Daddy...

Number Two Son Trivia…

Mr. Charlie Chan’s

Number Two Son also played Hop Sing on Bonanza…

Only 6 Proof… Not Worth Having Scotch Breath First Thing In The Morning…

Now... Grey Goose Greath Might Be Worth Thinking About...

Colors For Guys And Girls…

Click to enlarge

PMS Week Makes Me Feel This Way…

When Will Jobs Come Back?… Better Read This.

There is unemployment, a brief and relatively routine transitional state that results from the rise and fall of companies in any economy, and there is unemployment—chronic, all-consuming. The former is a necessary lubricant in any engine of economic growth. The latter is a pestilence that slowly eats away at people, families, and, if it spreads widely enough, the fabric of society. Indeed, history suggests that it is perhaps society’s most noxious ill.

Read More HERE

New Cell Phone Designs…

Maybe New iPhone?

How Easy To Lose This One?

Use Your Finger As The Speaker - Stick It In Your Ear Gets New Meaning.

Reminds Me Of Leela From Futurama...

You Won't Break This One After Shoving It Into Your Pocket...

Claim Is.. This One Can Morph Into All These Shapes... Humbug!

See More HERE

A Few Lifted Links…

Broad New Hacking Attack Detected

Ancient Mongolian Tomb Holds Skeleton of Western Man

Day After Valentines Day… Everybody Feel Like This?…

Whatta Night!!!

Strange Beds…

I Would Not Sleep On This Bed...

You Can Make Serious Whoopie On This One

This One's A Big Speaker.

The Millennium Futon

China Might Have Bugged That USB Drive You Just Bought…

From IT World:

According to the Sunday Times, “A leaked MI5 document says that undercover intelligence officers from the People’s Liberation Army and the Ministry of Public Security have also approached UK businessmen at trade fairs and exhibitions with the offer of ‘gifts’ and ‘lavish hospitality.’ The gifts — cameras and memory sticks — have been found to contain electronic Trojan bugs which provide the Chinese with remote access to users’ computers.”

That’s bad. But why, if these stories are true, should the Chinese government stop there? U.S. and British citizens buy billions of dollars every year of Chinese-made USB memory sticks, computers, hard drives, and cameras. Why not just add security holes as a matter of course to the firmware of all of them?

It’s not hard. Heck. It’s trivial.

There’s nothing difficult about doing this. Not only are backdoors easy to create, running an automatic check for words of interest, even in terabytes of documents, just requires some servers. After all, Google does it every day with far more data than such a plot could ever uncover.

Read More HERE

Average American Politician…

Now Playing... Corporate Greatest Hits.

My Life Summed Up In Three Pictures…

Who's The Big Daddy Around Here?!?!

Love, Honor And Obey...

After The Kids Arrived...

Smart Aleck Answers Found On School Tests… Or Maybe Your Kid’s Just Dumb…

Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists

Q. How is dew formed
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire

Q. What causes the tides in the oceans
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight.

Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election

Q. What are steroids
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs

Q. What happens to your body as you age
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A. Premature death

Q. What is artificial insemination
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
A. Keep it in the cow

Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen)
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts – the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I, O and U

Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie

Q. What is the most common form of birth control
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium

Q. Give the meaning of the term ‘Caesarean section’
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome

Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor.

Q. What is a terminal illness
A. When you are sick at the airport.

Q. What does the word ‘benign’ mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight

Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Sheik wears on his head

Free Speech For All…

Been Xmas Shopping?.. Seen These Folks?… Bruce From CT Sends These Doozies… You Laugh At ANY Of These Pics… You Get A Lump Of Coal.

She's Got Back Boobs... Fun To Hug!

Remember When Only Little Old Ladies Had Blue Hair?

WTF?!?!?

Buns Of Butter

Let's Hope She's Buying A Bathrobe.

Plumber's Delight

Chicken Weave?

Nice Legs

Eeeewwww!!!

Whatizzit?!?

Daisy Don'ts

Swamp Monsters Like Candy Too.

Wrong On So, So Many Levels.

Wanna Go Toe To Toe W/ Her At The Clearance Table?

Bet He Misses The Toilet A Lot...

You Have Been Warned.

Is That A Beard?!?

A Thong?!?!

Girls Gots Garters

Auntie Had A Little Egg Nog At The Senior Center Party…

She was also texting while driving...

All In Favor Say Aye!

the plain and simple truth

Sometimes You Just Have To Face Up To The Issues…

Everyone says I’ll feel better for it… So Here Goes…

Ya know… That really does feel good!!

That Felt So Good I’m Gonna Go One Step Further…

I Feel Better Already!!

Dollar Origami…

Koi

Tank

Penguin

Dragon

Camera

Crab

Bat

Shark

Jacket

Toilet

Spider

Scorpion

Butterfly