Search Results for men | Los Cuatro Ojos

Q. How are husbands like lawn mowers?
A. They’re hard to get started, they emit noxious odours, and half the time they don’t work.

Q. How can you tell when a man is well hung?
A. When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose.

Q. How do men define a “50/50″ relationship?
A. We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle.

Q. How do men exercise on the beach?
A. By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.

Q. How do you get a man to stop biting his nails?
A. Make him wear shoes.

Q. How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A. Rename the mail folder “Instruction Manuals.”

Q. How does a man show he’s planning for the future?
A. He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

Q. How is Colonel Sanders like the typical male?
A. All he’s concerned with is legs, breasts and thighs.

Q. What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant?
A. Any place without a drive-up window.

Q. What do you call a handcuffed man?
A. Trustworthy.

Q. What do you call the useless piece of skin on the end of a man’s penis?
A. His body.

Q. What makes a man think about a candlelight dinner?
A. A power failure.

Q. What should you give a man who has everything?
A. A woman to show him how to work it.

Q. What do men and mascara have in common?
A. They both run at the first sign of emotion.

Q. What do men and pantyhose have in common?
A. They either cling, run, or don’t fit right in the crotch!

Q. What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man?
A. His wife is good at picking out clothes.

Q. What’s a man’s definition of a romantic evening?
A. Sex.

Q. What’s a man’s idea of honestly in a relationship?
A. Telling you his real name.

Q. What’s the best way to force a man to do sit ups?
A. Put the remote control between his toes.

Q. What’s the difference between Big Foot and intelligent man?
A. Big Foot’s been spotted a several times.

Q. What’s the smartest thing a man can say?
A. “My wife says…”

Q. Why can’t men get mad cow disease?
A. Because they’re all pigs.

Q. Why do men like smart women?
A. Opposites attract.

Q. Why do men name their penises?
A. Because they don’t like the idea of having a stranger make 90% of their decisions.

Q. Why do men need instant replay on TV sports?
A. Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.

Q. Why do men whistle when they’re sitting on the toilet?
A. Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

Q. Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven?
A. Because if they all went, it would be Hell.

Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A. A widow.

Q. When do you care for a man’s company?
A. When he owns it.

Q. What do men and sperm have in common?
A. They both have one in a million chance of becoming a human being.

Insults, Jokes, Just Plain Silly | TheFourEyes January 29, 2012 | Comments (0)

Let’s Put Men Into “Classic” Pinup Poses… Not So Pretty When The Shoe Is On The Other Foot… Is It?

Cool Pics, Disasters, Jokes, Just Plain Silly, Rants | TheFourEyes December 15, 2011 | Comments (0)

Men Are Bluetooth… Women Are Wi-Fi…

Cool Stuff, Information | TheFourEyes December 9, 2011 | Comments (0)

I Really Do Have A Crappy Apartment…

Cool Pics, Jokes, Just Plain Silly | TheFourEyes November 25, 2011 | Comments (0)

PMS Guide… Men… Memorize It… Use It!..

Click To Enlarge…

Cool Stuff, Information, Rants | TheFourEyes October 29, 2011 | Comments (0)

Hump Day Commandment…

Cool Stuff, Information | TheFourEyes October 19, 2011 | Comments (0)

Encouragement… We All Need Some.

Cool Pics, Insults, Jokes, Just Plain Silly | TheFourEyes July 30, 2011 | Comments (0)

British Secret Military Equipment On Display For The Queen…

Cool Pics, Disasters, Just Plain Silly | TheFourEyes July 22, 2011 | Comments (0)

Satan Torments The Kitty… Again.

Cool Pics, Just Plain Silly | TheFourEyes July 12, 2011 | Comments (0)

Dihydrogen Monoxide (DHMO)… A Deadly Substance? A Widespread Menace?.. Use Enough Scary Language And Anything Can Seem Fatal-

Dihydrogen Monoxide (DHMO) is a colorless and odorless chemical compound, also referred to by some as Dihydrogen Oxide, Hydrogen Hydroxide, Hydronium Hydroxide, or simply Hydric acid. Its basis is the highly reactive hydroxyl radical, a species shown to mutate DNA, denature proteins, disrupt cell membranes, and chemically alter critical neurotransmitters. The atomic components of DHMO are found in a number of caustic, explosive and poisonous compounds such as Sulfuric Acid, Nitroglycerine and Ethyl Alcohol.

My personal opinion is that Dihydrogen Monoxide (DHMO) is not nearly as dangerous as some people make it out to be… I personally have been exposed to vast quantities of it and have only rarely suffered adverse effects. Although I do know friends and relatives that have died from excessive exposure to the stuff. And I certainly agree that putting the stuff in milk, gasoline or whiskey is to be avoided. But… Then again… My opinion is from a person who has also been exposed to vast quantities of radiation …

So… in all fairness… Here is a link to an organization that makes a good argument about how much of this stuff people are exposed to and it’s role in the real, theoretical, theological and potential destruction of mankind… They even point to passages in the Bible that indicate a mass extinction took place due to exposure to what could have only been mass quantities of DHMO… In fact… It is a scientifically proven fact that continuous inhalation of this substance is indeed fatal. Here is another link to many surveys from different countries that prove that a majority of the people would want DHMO banned.

Among the many commonly-cited DHMO-related environmental impacts are:

DHMO contributes to global warming and the “Greenhouse Effect”, and is one of the so-called “greenhouse gasses.”
DHMO is an “enabling component” of acid rain — in the absence of sufficient quantities of DHMO, acid rain is not a problem.
DHMO is a causative agent in most instances of soil erosion — sufficiently high levels of DHMO exacerbate the negative effects of soil erosion.
DHMO is present in high levels nearly every creek, stream, pond, river, lake and reservoir in the U.S. and around the world.
Measurable levels of DHMO have been verified in ice samples taken from both the Arctic and Antarctic ice caps.
Recent massive DHMO exposures have lead to the loss of life and destruction of property in California, the Mid-West, the Philippines, and a number of islands in the Caribbean, to name just a few.
Research has shown that significant levels of DHMO were found in the devastating Indian Ocean tsunami in 2004 which killed 230,000 in Indonesia, Thailand, Malaysia and elsewhere, making it the deadliest tsunami in recorded history.
It is widely believed that the levee failures, flooding and the widespread destruction resulting from Hurricane Katrina along the U.S. Gulf Coast in 2005 were caused or exacerbated by excessive DHMO levels found in the Gulf of Mexico, along with other contributing factors.