Los Cuatro Ojos

I’m Getting Questions…Here’s Some Answers…

Since I posted the article on the Red Dress Party… I’ve gotten more than a few emails informing me of people being surprised that I’m gay… I’m not… But I’m surprised at the number of people who had nasty things to say regarding gay folks.

LET ME MAKE SOMETHING PERFECTLY CLEAR…

If you are an intolerant ignoramus who feels that you have the right to dictate any grown person’s life either from a religious or perceived cultural standpoint… You’ve picked the wrong blogger to make your views known to… What the hell makes you think that a gay person…or any “different” person that is otherwise an honest non-dangerous individual is worse than the corporate and government pirates that openly wage war on the environment and humanity?

My sister is gay… and my favorite (late)uncle was gay… And they are among the most decent humans I know… Are you telling me that they deserve greater damnation than the assholes who are responsible for raping your wallet with today’s gas prices?

Or the miserable schmucks who manufacture substandard medicine and poison toothpaste?… Or maybe the folks who made the dogfood that poisoned your dog?… Do you actually think that a person who happens to have a different attraction to the opposite sex is as bad or worse than the people that lied 4000 innocent troops to their deaths on a wild goose chase?

Hell… Do you think that SPAMMERS are worse than gay people!?!?

If so… then you need to take a long hard look at your own life and motives… If the worse thing you can think of in this crazy world is that someone of the same sex might find you attractive enough to make a pass at… You are indeed a sick puppy.

And as for my comment about thinking it would be fun to squeeze my 295 pound, full bearded, foot size 13 ass into a red ball gown and party and get drunk for charity… Well… I think that shows more balls and confidence in my masculinity than any of the “macho” posturing played out by the intolerant asswipes that had the nerve to send me emails talking about what they’d do if some gay guy ever spoke to them… I sincerely hope that your next prostate exam is given by a gay doctor.

Don’t bother sending me your sick spew… I’ve got strangelets to worry about.

Scientists Working On A Project That Could Destroy Earth… Lawsuit Filed…

This thing could make a Black Hole or a Strangelet that could seriously hurt …if not destroy the Earth…

More strife in Iraq. U.S. financial system in crisis. Rice prices soar.

None of these headlines will matter a bit, though, if two men pursuing a lawsuit in a court in Hawaii turn out to be right. They think a giant particle accelerator that will begin smashing protons together outside Geneva this summer might produce a black hole that will spell the end of the Earth – and maybe the universe.

The world’s physicists have spent 14 years and $8 billion building the Large Hadron Collider, in which the colliding protons will recreate energies and conditions last seen a trillionth of a second after the Big Bang. Researchers will sift the debris from these primordial recreations for clues to the nature of mass and new forces and symmetries of nature.

But Walter Wagner and Luis Sancho contend that scientists at the European Center for Nuclear Research, or CERN, have played down the chances that the collider could produce, among other horrors, a tiny black hole, which, they say, could eat the Earth. Or it could spit out something called a “strangelet” that would convert our planet to a shrunken dense dead lump of something called “strange matter.” Their suit also says CERN has failed to provide an environmental impact statement as required under the U.S. National Environmental Policy Act.

Read More HERE 

Human Breast Milk Cheese… Made in France…

I’m an adventurous eater… But I’m not too sure about this one…

Le Petit Singly is a farm that specializes in making cheese from women’s breast milk. Are you imagining the milking process?

The cheese is produced exactly like it would be for cow’s milk and apparently tastes like it has hints of hazelnut… And you can order breast milk cheese online from le Petit Singly, if you’re interested.

Le Petit Singly, Breast Milk Cheese
Website in French: Le Petit Singly
Email: petitsingly@lycos.fr

Read More HERE

Portland, OR’s Red Dress Party… A Major Bash… Even Chelsea Clinton Showed Up

How come I never get invited to these big bashes?!?!

I’ve spent all these years building up this tremendous cleavage and when the chance to show the “twins” off comes up… Where am I?… Reading about it!… Now all I can do is dream about going down to Annie’s Plus Size Shop and picking out a fire engine red size 40 44 48… er… 50 that would show off my generous assets… Then slapping on a pair of red fishnets over these hairy, meaty thighs… Stealing the old lady’s paint kit and some bling and off to a night on the town!… No heels for this “girl” though… I’m strictly a flats person… Oh well… There’s always next year… Maybe I’ll See You There!

From BYRON BECK at Willamette Week…

Getting dressed can be a bitch. Especially when you’re a man trying to find the right dress for the evening. Such is the drama of the 8th Annual Red Dress Party .

This small shindig was started years ago as a way for gay guys to wear girlie gowns and get stinkin’ drunk. But this much-loved party has evolved over the years. Now one of the most colorful fundraisers out there (last year the group gave away more than $25,000 to local nonprofits supporting queer youth or helping people with AIDS), it attracts over 1,500-plus attendees, including straight men and women, state legislators and anybody else who likes to rock on with their frock on.

And this year’s soiree, “Red Sea,” is sure to attract an ocean’s worth of party-goers with the inclusion of Storm Large and her Balls at a big Northeast PDX warehouse.

There’s only one rule: You have to wear a red dress to attend. No culottes. No kilts.

“The exciting aspect of this party is getting people outside the box and seeing their interpretation of a dress,” says Cheri Betts, a Red Dress board member. “It’s not about dressing in drag…but creating a costume that fits your personal style. Making everybody wear a dress levels the playing field for all genders.”

That’s why this time of year it’s pretty hard to find a red dress…especially if you’re a size 24. And then there are stares as you scan the racks at Red Light looking for the right li’l number.

Not to be confused with that other annual “Red Dress” fundraiser, this is the “Red Dress Party,” a mondo-alcohol-fueled dance party where nearly 2,000 men in various states of red dress undress (and several nearly naked men as well as one very colorfully decorated naked woman) invade a warehouse in Northeast Portland and dance their collective asses off to pounding disco music…

I’ll admit that my cleavage isn’t quite this spectacular… But I’m much, much firmer!!

Lots & Lots More Pics HERE… The Pics Get A LOT More Interesting If You Select From Pic# 65…

HERE’S Some after event commentary and more pics by Byron…

My Wife Says My Work Area (Our Living Room) Is Getting A Bit Messy…

Did I Mention That Fred Sanford Is My Hero?  

Another Time Waster… I Will Only Admit To Losing 20 Minutes Of Production Time…

Should you miss a deadline or appointment… Do Not Blame LCO… This devious bit of “entertainment” was submitted by Ms. Jones…http://vili.us/hypno.html 

Now That’s How You Open A Beer!

Creative Uses For Caves…

See More HERE

Songbird Is Here… Mozilla Gives iTunes It’s First Real Competition…

Seems that the good folks who make FireFox have come up with a music browser they’ve named Songbird that they think will give iTunes a run… Now I like FireFox… A lot… In fact LCO is made to work best with FireFox and users of FireFox 2 are the highest percentage of visitors to LCO by far. And I like iTunes… A lot… And I’ve seen iTunes killers come and go. And even though it’s only been five years since we’ve been able to keep thousands and thousands of songs in the memory equivalent of a few CD’s… We keep looking at the horizon for the next great thing. Greedy buggers …aren’t we?

Well… There’s a glow on the horizon that holds some promise… It’s far from sunrise… But this Songbird has the makings of a great day to come.

But… Let’s deal with today.

I have almost 5000 songs in my iTunes library… And 400 and change are purchased from iTunes. In Fact… Most of the folks that I know with iTunes have over 1000 songs in their library… And Apple is now crowing about being the biggest U.S. music store … Did I mention the four iPods drifting around here?

I suspect that Songbird will come as close as anything to giving iTunes a legitimate competitor… I’ve read up on it and if it delivers as well as FireFox and incorporates the advertised features… It’s gonna be nice.

People are getting excited… Here’s a Video… They’re saying that Songbird will play music from most music stores and that they’re working on getting it compatible with iTunes… And being open source… I suspect that that will happen. sooner rather than later.

Making it compatible with my iPods was a good move… But since iTunes is ubiquitous to Macs and relatively easy to drop onto a Windows machine… I’m looking for some killer feature to compel me to load it onto some machine other than my experiment box… Let’s see…

Add – ons… These seem nice… So far there’s over 7 pages of them and they seem as easy to use as FireFox plug ins… This is what we’d get if Apple opened iTunes up to developers. But I’ve had a few bad experiences with Firefox Add-ons that resulted in my having to remove and reinstall the app. I would not be a happy camper if an add-on caused my music library to go bye-bye. The only time I’ve ever came close to wrecking my iTunes library was when I (illegally) downloaded a song that had a corrupted size count and hooned my directory. Nowadays… I pretty much stick to getting my music from places I can place blame on and complain to someone at. I’ve heard of people that have gotten Apple to allow them to re-download their entire purchased song list after serious crashes… So… That said… my mind can get around Apple’s reluctance to open up iTunes to outside developers as long as I feel that my precious music collection is unlikely to fall prey to some less than diligent but well meaning code jockey.

Feathers… Feathers is Skins… And there are some nice ones… iTunes’ grey frame hasn’t changed since day 1… I hear folks mentioning that they’d at least like a few skins… And I’d get some if they were easily and safely available. But I’ve gotten so used to the brushed metal thing that I can’t remember that I wouldn’t mind some color most days… Perhaps this is part of Apple’s underlying tenet that the machines and programs should be secondary to what you want to do with them… At any rate.. When I’m not fiddling around in my library… I’m running in reduced mode or full screen cover flow anyway.

Overall… I will say that I’m definitely intrigued… I’m already wondering how this thing would work installed on a 4 GB thumb drive… What if you could take it all with you?.. I mean run a copy of your own music browser on any machine you happen to be in front of? Maybe I’m getting too far out there … But there’s your killer feature… Hey… It’s open source… It’s in the realm of possibility.

There are lots of sites out there screaming iTunes Killer! … Gizmodo and boing-boing are on the bandwagon… PC World, SiliconBeat and others are taking a more cautious note… You can count LCO in the “cautious” column… I loathe the thought of putting a promising newborn up against Godzilla before it even has teeth. But I am saying without reservation that I think that Songbird’s got a real shot at becoming the crown prince of the hill.. So far.. This is the only music app that has even made me raise an eyebrow as far as being a possible adjutant to iTunes… Look! I can’t even bring myself to write that any…and I mean ANY application stands a chance of utterly replacing iTunes.. But then again… Five years ago …I couldn’t imagine keeping 4 gigabytes of data on my keychain let alone dreaming that I’d have something as wonderful as iTunes itself.

As to major issues…

So far.. Nothing has caught my eye more than this nasty little surprise … Apparently… You can shrink Songbird right out of existence… I mean so far gone that the only way to get back in is to delete your entire profile…

I plan to put it on my Mac and Windows experiment boxes… Beat up on it and take a wait and see attitude.

Sealed With Love: A Humane Way To Kill Baby Seals

Step 1: This season’s hunt requires that vital signs are checked after the seal is shot or clubbed over the head —checking for the loss of corneal reflexes.

Step 2: Sealers then must cut a main artery to allow the seal to bleed to death, but only if the seal is unconscious. Veterinarians believe far too much pain and suffering would be caused otherwise. They urge sealers to view shooting and clubbing as a method of stunning only—not killing.

Step 3: Vets request that hunters allow sufficient time to let the seal die before any hooking or skinning is done. Vets also recommend a training program for sealers to learn which part of the head to hit so seals are rendered unconscious in only one blow (Clubbing 101, if you will).

Read More At Plenty Magazine

Bloggers Dropping Dead… Too Much Stress…

Apparently.. Bloggers are dying of strokes and heart attacks all over the WWW… So far most of the deaths and disablements are occuring among those that blog for pay…

Boy am I relieved!!! I don’t make a penny writing LCO… I started it as a way to vent my spleen… But I admit that it sometimes gets to me trying to figure out what to post… But I wouldn’t do it if I someone was riding me to make a deadline…

I’ve given some thought to taking a regular day off… We’ll see…

In Web World of 24/7 Stress, Writers Blog Till They Drop:

Two weeks ago in North Lauderdale, Fla., funeral services were held for Russell Shaw, a prolific blogger on technology subjects who died at 60 of a heart attack. In December, another tech blogger, Marc Orchant, died at 50 of a massive coronary. A third, Om Malik, 41, survived a heart attack in December.

They work long hours, often to exhaustion. Many are paid by the piece — not garments, but blog posts. This is the digital-era sweatshop. You may know it by a different name: home.

A growing work force of home-office laborers and entrepreneurs, armed with computers and smartphones and wired to the hilt, are toiling under great physical and emotional stress created by the around-the-clock Internet economy that demands a constant stream of news and comment.

Of course, the bloggers can work elsewhere, and they profess a love of the nonstop action and perhaps the chance to create a global media outlet without a major up-front investment. At the same time, some are starting to wonder if something has gone very wrong. In the last few months, two among their ranks have died suddenly.

Read More HERE

Rap Lyrics Translated To English…

Notorious B.I.G One more Chance rap lyrics translated. Have Fun.

Rings and watch filled with rocks

TRANSLATION:

As a general rule, I perform deviant sexual acts with women of all kinds, including but not limited to those with limited intellect, nude magazine models, and prostitutes. I particularly enjoy sexual encounters with the latter group as they are generally disappointed in the fact that they only receive penile intercourse and nothing more, unless of course, they douche on a consistent basis. Although I am extremely unattractive, I am able to engage in these types of sexual acts with some regularity. Perhaps my sexuality is somehow related to my fancy and expensive jewelry.

How Modern Civilization May End… Is Our Complexity Our Doom?..

Fred over at GoodShit was kind enough to put up an article that many of us wouldn’t otherwise see…

I’ve been railing about this particular part for years… We’re currently seeing the results of having idiots run our economy and nations… I got thrown out of a high level meeting a few years back when I went ballistic at the statement that a VP made that a big company CEO didn’t have to be very smart these days… The company nearly went bankrupt and was bought by one of it’s subsidiaries not a year later… The company is still struggling… I won’t mention the company name but you’d be surprised.

“To run a hierarchy, managers cannot be less complex than the system they are managing,” Bar-Yam says. As complexity increases, societies add ever more layers of management but, ultimately in a hierarchy, one individual has to try and get their head around the whole thing, and this starts to become impossible. At that point, hierarchies give way to networks in which decision-making is distributed. We are at this point.” 

Read More HERE 

Hoarding by banks stokes fears on credit crisis… The Banks Are Holding Onto Cash… Why?…

Sent by Email… You Guys Read This And Decide For Yourselves…

By Chris Giles in London and James Politi in Washington

Published: March 25 2008 15:10 | Last updated: March 25 2008 20:36

Central banks’ efforts to ease strains in the money markets are failing to stop financial institutions from hoarding cash, stoking fears that the recent respite in equity markets may not signal the end of the credit crisis.

Banks’ borrowing costs – a sign of their willingness to lend to each other – in the US, eurozone and the UK rose again even after the Federal Reserve’s unprecedented activity in lending to retail and investment banks against weaker than usual collateral and similar action in Europe.

The continued friction in the money markets came even as stock markets were showing new signs of optimism in spite of fresh data from the US showing consumers at their most pessimistic for 35 years and house prices falling at the fastest rate on record.

In London, where the Bank of England has faced criticism for not being as proactive as other central banks, the three-month Libor rate was set on Tuesday at 5.995 per cent, its highest of the year. This is nearly 0.9 percentage points above the level investors demand for risk-free money, a spread nearly as high as that which led to central bank interventions in September and December.

The European Central Bank allocated €216bn ($337bn) in seven-day funds in its regular weekly operation on Tuesday – some €50bn higher than the amount it estimated would have normally been needed – at an average rate of 4.28 per cent, which was the highest since late September.

The Fed’s latest lending to banks under its Term Auction Facility was also in heavy demand, receiving bids for $88.9bn compared with the $50bn on offer, an excess of demand almost as great as the previous auction two weeks ago, before the collapse of Bear Stearns.

But equity markets ignored the continued stresses in the plumbing of the financial system, partly in the hope that they were driven by liquidity hoarding at the end of the financial quarter.

In Europe, the FTSE 100 gained 3.5 per cent, closing 193.9 points higher at 5,689.1, while the FTSE Eurofirst 300 rose 3.1 per cent to close at 1,266. In Asia, Japan’s Nikkei 225 closed up 2.1 per cent while the Hang Seng in Hong Kong rose 6.4 per cent.

The rises followed strong gains on Monday in the US after the revised JPMorgan offer for Bear Stearns. At the close, the S&P index was also up 0.23 per cent – its earlier gains pared by further evidence the credit crisis risks sending the US economy into a deep recession.

Consumer confidence crumbled to a five-year low in March, and US home prices experienced a record slide in January.

The Conference Board’s confidence index fell from 76.4 in February to a reading of 64.5 this month.

“Consumers’ outlook for business conditions, the job market and their income prospects is quite pessimistic and suggests further weakening may be on the horizon,” said Lynn Franco of the Conference Board. Except for a brief period in 2003 when the Iraq war began, the index is at its lowest level since the early 1990s.

The expectations index, which tracks consumers’ assessments of future conditions, fell from 58 last month to 47.9 in March, its worst reading since December 1973.

The collapse in US consumer confidence came as the S&P/Case-Shiller Index of US home prices showed a sharp decline in January. Home prices in 20 large cities fell by 10.7 per cent in January compared with the same period last year, a drop that was slightly worse than expected but marked an acceleration compared with a 9.1 per cent fall in December.

The slide in home prices – the biggest monthly drop on record – could damp hopes that the US housing market may be close to a bottom. Those hopes were raised on Monday when data showed that sales of previously owned homes rose for the first time in seven months in February.

Play Orbital… Have Fun

Orbital

Play more games at Fugly.com

A Request From Your Local Penis…

I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

I do physical labor.

I work at great depths.
I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
I work in a damp environment.
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
I work in high temperatures.
My work exposes me to contagious diseases.

Sincerely,
P. Niss
The Response:
Dear Penis:
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
You do not work 8 hours straight.
You fall asleep after brief work periods.
You do not always follow the orders of the management team. You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.
You do not take initiative – you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift. You don’t always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
You will retire well before you are 65.
You are unable to work double shifts.
You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed assigned task.
And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.
Sincerely, V. Gina

JUST A MOM??? Jean Sent This One…

A woman, renewing her driver’s license at the County Clerk ‘s office
was asked by the woman recorder to state her occupation.
She hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself.

‘What I mean is ,’ explained the recorder,
‘do you have a job or are you just a……?’

‘Of course I have a job,’ snapped the woman.

‘I’m a Mom.’

‘We don’t list ‘Mom’ as an occupation, ‘housewife’ covers it,’
said the recorder emphatically.

I forgot all about her story until one day I found myself in the
same situation, this time at our own Town Hall.

The Clerk was obviously a career woman, poised,
efficient and possessed of a high sounding title like,
‘Official Interrogator’ or ‘Town Registrar.’

‘What is your occupation?’ she probed.

What made me say it?
I do not know.
The words simply popped out.
‘I’m a Research Associate in the field of
Child Development and Human Relations.’

The clerk paused, ball-point pen frozen in midair and
looked up as though she had not heard right.

I repeated the title slowly emphasizing the most significant words.
Then I stared with wonder as my pronouncement was written,
in bold, black ink on the official questionnaire.

‘Might I ask,’ said the clerk with new interest,
‘just what you do in your field?’

Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice,
I heard myself reply,
‘I have a continuing program of research,
[what mother doesn’t)
in the laboratory and in the field,
(normally I would have said indoors and out).
I’m working for my Masters, (first the Lord and then the whole family)
and already have four credits (all daughters).
Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities,
(any mother care to disagree?)
and I often work 14 hours a day, (24 is more like it).
But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers and the rewards are
more of a satisfaction rather than just money.’

There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk’s voice
as she completed the form, stood up and personally ushered
me to the door.

As I drove into our driveway, buoyed up by my glamorous new career, I was greeted by my lab assistants — ages 13, 7, and 3.
Upstairs I could hear our new experimental model,
(a 6 month old baby) in the child development program,
testing out a new vocal pattern.
I felt I had scored a beat on bureaucracy!
And I had gone on the official records as someone more distinguished and indispensable to mankind than
‘just another Mom.’ Motherhood!

What a glorious career!
Especially when there’s a title on the door.

Does this make grandmothers
‘Senior Research associates in the field of
Child Development and Human Relations’
and great grandmothers
‘Executive Senior Research Associates’?
I think so!!!
I also think it makes Aunts
‘Associate Research Assistants’.

HOW TO POOP AND PASS GAS AT WORK… A Survival Guide…

We’ve all been there but don’t like to admit it. As much as we try to
convince ourselves otherwise , the WORK POOP is inevitable. For those who
hate pooping at work , following is the Survival Guide for taking a dump
at work.

CROP DUSTING:
When farting , you walk briskly around the office so the smell is not in
your area and everyone else gets a whiff but doesn’t know where it came
from. Be careful when you do this. Do not stop until the full fart has
been expelled. Walk an extra 30 feet to make sure the smell has left
your pants.

FLY BY:
This is the act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in and
check for other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom , leave and
come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may
become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.

ESCAPEE:
This is a fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or
forcing a poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave
of embarrassment. If you release an escapee , do not acknowledge it.
Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter in the
urinal , pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee. It is
uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both
parties feel uneasy.

JAILBREAK:
When forcing a poop , several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This
is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should
happen , do not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the
bathroom to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.

COURTESY FLUSH:
The act of flushing the toilet the instant the poop hits the water. This
reduces the amount of airtime the poop has to stink up the bathroom.
This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.

WALK OF SHAME:
Walking from the stall , to the sink , to the door after you have just
stunk the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone
walks in and busts you. As with farts , it is best to pretend that the
smell does not exist. This very uncomfortable walk can be avoided with
the use of the COURTESY FLUSH.

OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER:
This is a colleague who poops at work and is damn proud of it. You will
often see an Out Of The Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a
newspaper or magazine under his or her arm. Always look around the
office for the Out Of The Closet Pooper before entering the bathroom.

THE POOPING FRIENDS NETWORK (P.F.N):
A group of co-workers who band together to ensure emergency pooping goes
off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the whereabouts
of Out Of The Closet Poopers , and identify SAFE HAVENS.

SAFE HAVENS:
A Safe Haven is a seldom-used bathroom somewhere in the building where
you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the
opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your sex entering
the bathroom.

TURD BURGLAR:
This is someone who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries
to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable
moments that can occur when taking a poop at work. If this occurs,
remain in the stall until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you will
avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.

CAMO-COUGH:
A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you
are in a stall is called a Camo-Cough. This can be used to cover-up a
WATERMELON , or to alert potential Turd Burglars. The Camo-Cough is very
effective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.

ASTAIRE:
An Astaire is a subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential Turd
Burglars that you are occupying a stall. This will eliminate all doubt
that the stall is occupied. If you hear an Astaire , leave the bathroom
immediately so the pooper can poop in peace.

WATERMELON:
A watermelon is a big poop that creates a loud splash when hitting the
toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a
Watermelon coming on , create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.

HAVANA OMELET:
A case of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet
water. Often accompanied by an Escapee. Try using a Camo-Cough with an
Astaire.

UNCLE TODD:
An Uncle Todd is a bathroom user who seems to linger around forever.
This person could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror
or sitting on the pot. An Uncle Todd makes it difficult to relax while
on the crapper , as you should always wait to poop when the bathroom is
empty. This benefits you as well as other bathroom attendees.

Bobby Brown: Whitney Houston Drove Me To Drugs… I Laughed Till I Threw Up!!

It’s Funny Friday… This Story Ought To Start Things Off On The Right Foot…

“I never used cocaine until after I met Whitney. Before then, I had experimented with other drugs, but marijuana was my drug of choice,” Brown writes in “Bobby Brown: The Truth, the Whole Truth and Nothing But,” out next month. “At one point in my life, I used drugs uncontrollably. I was using everything I could get my hands on, from cocaine to heroin, weed and cooked cocaine.” – Booby Brown

Read More HERE 

Peter Gabriel & Deep Forest – While The Earth Sleeps –

This video invokes images that show that while we are still toddlers when it comes to our space travels so far… That we are ultimately meant to leave… this … our womb – planet – home – beginning place and live elsewhere… Although the lyrics originally are the lament of a lovestruck young girl grounded for seeing a boy… The words reflect mankind’s longstanding desire to “slip the surly bonds of earth to touch the face of God”… It Seems That Maybe Mother Has Relented Just A Bit… We’re getting out of the house…

If only to just play in the front yard for the time being…

Original lyrics in Macedonian:
Dali znaesh mila majko
shto sum ne srekjna
Cel den doma sama sedam
Nadvor ne smejam

English translation:
Do you know, mother,
How unlucky I am?
All day I sit at home,
I am not allowed outside

The music is pretty good too…

Regrowing Limbs: Can People Regenerate Body Parts?…

• The gold standard for limb regeneration is the salamander, which can grow perfect replacements for lost body parts throughout its lifetime. Understanding how can provide a road map for human limb regeneration.
• The early responses of tissues at an amputation site are not that different in salamanders and in humans, but eventually human tissues form a scar, whereas the salamander’s reactivate an embryonic development program to build a new limb.
• Learning to control the human wound environment to trigger salamanderlike healing could make it possible to regenerate large body parts.

Read More At: Scientific American

Have We Managed To Find The Literal Gate To Hell?…

Located at Turkmenistan desert, Darvaza flaming crater is one of the most apocalyptic landscapes in the world. Its 60 meters in diameter and 20 meters depth have not been caused by volcanic activity or a meteorite impact. This crater was created sometime in the 50′s when the Soviets were prospecting for natural gas in this area and it’s been burning since then.

Read More And See Videos… HERE

Print Your Own Solar Cells On An Inkjet Printer…

“I am a big fan of solar cells and using them for a greener home, but we all know that investments to get solar energy are usually spicy and not everyone can afford. There is a solution though. Konarka Technologies, a company that builds low cost sources of renewable power affordable and universally available thinks we can print our own solar cells using an inkjet printer.”  from Alex Ion at – Greenpacks.org

Read More HERE and HERE

Do You Have An Unrelated Twin?… Have You Met Your Doppelganger?

In Everyday Terms It’s Come To Mean A Person Who Is Completely Unrelated But Looks Alike Enough To Be A Twin … But For The Sticklers Out There…

Doppelgänger

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

In the vernacular, “Doppelgänger” has come to refer (as in German) to any double or look-alike of a person—most commonly an “evil twin“. The literal translation of the German word is “doublewalker”, meaning someone who is acting (e.g. walking) the same way as another person. The word is also used to describe the sensation of having glimpsed oneself in peripheral vision, in a position where there is no chance that it could have been a reflection. They are generally regarded as harbingers of bad luck. In some traditions, a doppelgänger seen by a person’s friends or relatives portends illness or danger, while seeing one’s own doppelgänger is an omen of death. In Norse mythology, a vardøger is a ghostly double who precedes a living person and is seen performing their actions in advance.

Choosing A Profession…

Like many young men, the boy didn’t really know what he wanted to do, and he didn’t seem too concerned about it. So one day, while the boy was away at school, his father, a preacher… decided to try an experiment.
He went into the boy’s room and placed on his study table four objects:

a Bible,
a silver dollar,
a bottle of whisky
and a Playboy magazine

I’ll just hide behind the door,’ the old preacher said to himself… When he comes home from school this afternoon, I’ll see which object he picks up… If it’s the Bible, he’s going to be a preacher like me and what a blessing that would be! If he picks up the dollar, he’s going to be a businessman, and that would be okay too. But if he picks up the bottle, he’s going to be a no-good drunkard, and, Lord, what a shame that would be.
And worst of all, if he picks up that magazine he’s gonna be a skirt-chasin’ bum.’
The old man waited anxiously, and soon heard his son’s footsteps as he entered the house whistling and heading for his room… The boy tossed his books on the bed, and as he turned to leave the room he spotted the objects on the table… With curiosity in his eye, he walked over to inspect them.

Finally, he picked up the Bible and placed it under his arm. He picked up the silver dollar and dropped it into his pocket. He uncorked the bottle and took a big drink while he admired this month’s centerfold.

Lord have mercy, the old preacher disgustedly whispered… He’s gonna be a politician!’