Los Cuatro Ojos

Earthlink’s Customer Service Is Worse Than Their Tech Support… That’s Pretty Bad.

Here I Am Paying For DSL Service And I’m Sitting In A Mickey D’s To Put This Post Out… Shameful!!!

I’ve been with Earthlink for 12 years and I’ve never been real crazy about their support system… But I’ve put up with it because… Well… Because I’m stupid.

My DSL modem sits there with all lights lit and refuses to let me onto the net… I reboot the thing and it drops the connect 10 minutes later.

So I deal with this for 4 days and finally I get on the horn and I get some overly polite dude in India who sympathizes with me… but basically, he’s a drone who’s reading his lines and can’t deviate from the book by one iota. “Did you reboot sir?”… Yup.

“Let’s try a reset”… says my 1st line hive unit. “Been there…Done That… 40 times already.”… Says I. “Sorry sir”… “We must follow procedure.”

“Self”… I sez to myself… ” Lets humor this guy and we’ll get to the level 2 guy sooner than it’ll take to convince him that you’ve exhausted all avenues before calling.”… But he throws me a curve ball. After the factory reset…He says… “Can you hook up a Windows machine directly to the modem and run it for a couple of hours so we can monitor the line?”… “And use IE by the way.”

This was my silent response.

This was my verbal response… “Dude… This is an all Mac and Firefox operation”… “I told you that from the beginning” … “I need to work… And I need to work with a Mac”… “Specifically… My Mac”… “It’ll take me 20 minutes to go dig out and dust off a Windows box and then I can’t get to my files “… Not to mention the whoop-dee-do the silly thing is gonna to put me through while it downloads 3 months of updates and installs them.”

From that… He deduces that it’s my line that’s screwed up… And that I’ve agreed to hook up the Windows box… ” OK Sir.”… “We’ll monitor the line until tomorrow”…

“Wait!” I squawk… “You said it was only for a couple of hours!”. (Notice how I’d forgotten all about my need to keep my Mac online?)… Devious buggers , those subcontinent tech types.

Sooo… For the next 20 minutes (while I’m digging out the Dell) I’m explaining to this guy all of the troubleshooting I’ve done and the fact that I’m pretty much savvy to any problems that come up, and that I’m pretty sure the modem was in the process of dying….

It was like talking to this guy

Anyway…

I ended up feeling like this

So the following day… I get a call from a slightly higher up drone who tells me that my line had a high noise to signal ratio and that all was fixed and all is well… And would I mind going online for him?… “Oh sure!” sez I… And I jump on the Dell and punch up the url for (what else?)LCO. Then we wait…and we wait.. and we wait some more… And Firefox gives me the old “Try Again?” button.

My new drone’s tone now changes to accusatory… “Are you sure you are hooked up to only one computer?” … “Yes”… “Did you unhook the router?” “Yes”… “OK” sez he…. “Then Something must be wrong.”

Noooo!… You Don’t Say!.. Thinks I

But what I sez was…“Can you escalate this to someone with authority to make a decision on replacing the modem?”

“OK” sez he… “But first… could you reboot the modem and we try one more thing?”… “Go along with it” I think… Anything to get me to someone who can get this thing back to normal.

So… I reboot the modem and he gives me an IP string to type in and, lo and behold!… I’m at Google’s home page.

So now he suggests that maybe I could type in IP addresses instead of like… you know… words.

Along about now… The old BP is up around 195/105.

Something’s about to blow!

So I grit my teeth and gently but firmly insist that I absolutely must speak to someone who can authorize a modem swap.

“OK” sez he… Someone will call me back within a couple of hours… OK Fine.

The Next Day…

I call with the ticket number and a machine tells me that the phone company is still checking my line and that I should call back later.

I am not a happy camper.

2 Hours Later…

Another overly polite fellow calls and informs me that he’s called all the way from India to inquire whether or not I’m satisfied with the tech support solution and that he’d like to now close the ticket.

And I’m Like…

“I Want A New Modem.”

And He’s Like… ” Let’s Test It First”

And I’m like …“OK..Fine”

So We Test The Modem…

And He Says… “THE MODEM IS BAD”

AND I’M LIKE

And Then… He Says…

“That’ll Be $79.95 plus $23.59 shipping.”

$104 for a modem that Best Buy sells for $40?!?!

That’s !!

“Well” sez he… “If you buy it at Best Buy”… “We Won’t Support It.” … “No More Tech Support For You.”

So I sez.. You mean that you expect me to pay you 50 -something bucks a month… And I’ve got the exact same model of modem… And you won’t give me any tech support?… I’ve been a customer for 12 years!.. and you won’t give me tech support unless I let you milk me for a piece of equipment?!?

“Well”… sez he … “Maybe we could let you have the modem for just the shipping charge if you’ll sign up for a year of Deluxe service.”

“How About I Just Cancel And Sign Up With Qwest?”.. Sez I

“Well… You’ll Have To Call Customer Service To Cancel Sir”… Sez He.

“OK -FINE !!” sez I.

And I Called Customer Service… Who promptly put me on hold for 40 minutes.

And… As Of This Morning… I’ve Still Got Earthlink As My ISP… But I’ve Already Made Arrangements For Their Replacement… And Guess What?… They Auto Deducted The New Months Payment On The 18th… So Maybe I’m Stuck For Another Month.

But If So… I Can Spend That Month Making Sure That None Of LCO’s 100,000+ Monthly Readers Get Shafted Like I Did.

Blogging Is Soooo Rewarding!

P.S….

Seems That I’m Not The Only One Feeling Shafted By Earthlink’s Know Nothing, Dronified, Incompetent, Arrogant And Downright Dishonest Ways… Somebody Cares Enough To Set Up A Dedicated Site And Forum At EarthlinkSucks.org … This Guy Even Came Up With A Wicked Little Logo…

P.P.S…

This Google Search For “Earthlink Problems”… Turns Up 2.5 million results.

My ISP Is Causing Me To Experience Existential Angst… I’m Sending Them A Box Of Chocolate Anuses.

My ISP Is Balking At Sending Out A Replacement Modem And I’m Dropping My Connection Every 10 Minutes Now… If They Give Me ONE MORE Excuse… I’m Naming Them In A Really Nasty Post… Fortunately…My Cousin Works For Them And Reads This Blog Regularly…

Hey Ray!… Can You Help A Fella Out?!?!?

Does This Bicyclist Have OCD Or What?…

Isn’t She Just Adorable?!?!

I’ve Lived Through All Of These Styles… I Need A Drink!

 1960′s

1970′s

1980′s

1990′s

Emo – Goth Valentine… I’m Thinking…EEewwww!!

To Mrs. FourEyes… I’d take a bullet for ya sweetie… But I ain’t cutting myself for ya.

My ISP Is On My Sh*t List… Couldn’t Post All Day…

I Tried Posting  At Midnite…

And Then Again At Noon…

This Is How I Felt By 11pm…

Using A Segway To Push A Baby Stroller… This Just Seems Wrong…

Pop Goes The Weasel… Ever Wondered Why The Weasel Goes “Pop?”

Round and round the cobbler’s bench
The monkey chased the weasel,
The monkey thought ’twas all in fun
Pop! Goes the weasel.

A penny for a spool of thread
A penny for a needle,
That’s the way the money goes,
Pop! Goes the weasel.

Half a pound of tuppenny rice,
Half a pound of treacle.
That’s the way the money goes,
Pop goes the weasel.

There has been much debate over the years about the meaning of Pop Goes The Weasel. A hugely popular music-hall song, its memorable and seemingly nonsensical lyrics spread like wildfire throughout Victorian London.

But is there more to the rhyme than meets the eye? In the 1680s, the poor and immigrants lived outside the walls of the City of London in Spitalfields, Hoxton and Shoreditch and slaved away in London’s textile industry, which was based there.

Packed with sweatshops, it was also the site of many music halls and theatres.

One theory suggests that Pop Goes The Weasel was an attempt to turn the grim reality of local people’s lives into a hit song.

In the textile industry, a spinner’s weasel was a mechanical thread-measuring device in the shape of a spoked wheel, that accurately measured out yarn by making a popping sound to indicate the correct length had been reached.

The mind-numbing and repetitive nature of the work is captured in the final line of each verse, indicating that whatever you were doing, or wherever your mind had wandered to, reality was never far away with the weasel to pop you alert again.

Rules For When You Rule The World… Or… Evil Overlord 101…

It seems that over and over again… Some poor schmuck fights his or her way to the top of the heap and stands at the edge of being the ruler of the world/galaxy/universe… Then they blow it by overlooking some teeny tiny detail that the hero takes advantage of and down topples the master plan.

Here are a few rules for you ambitious types who are currently plotting to become the top dog… Read…Memorize…Follow to the letter… And you might just succeed.

This list is only 10 of 100… The rest are found HERE 

1. I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum – a small hotel room well outside my border will work just as well.
2. My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear Plexiglas visors, not face concealing ones.
3. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.
4. My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell in my dungeon.
5. Shooting is not too good for my enemies.
6. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragon of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.
7. I will not gloat over my enemies predicament before killing them.
8. When I’ve captured my adversary and he says, “Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?” I’ll say, “No.” and shoot him. No, on second thought, I’ll shoot him and then say “No.”
9. After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks’ time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.
10. I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labelled, “Danger: Don Not Push”. The big red button marked “Do Not Push” will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will clearly not be labelled as such.

 90 More Rules HERE 

In Memory Of My Brother… Who’s Been Gone 2 Years On 8/14… We Miss You Larry.

If This Babyfaced S.O.B. Is Packing Heat… We’re All In Trouble.

I Wonder How Many Kittens I’ve Been Responsible For?…

This Reminds Me Of The 2008 U.S. Election…

Everyone’s PIN Number Published On The Web!! Horrors!!

Oh My!.. Some Devilishly Dastard Demon Spawn Has Finally Done It… They’ve Posted Everyone’s… And I Mean Everyone’s Personal PIN Number On The Web… Lot’s Of Mine Are There… You’d Better Get Right Over There!

Those monsters have finally gone and done it!!!

What Are We Gonna Do!?!?

Is YOUR PIN Number HERE?

A Nice Moon Shot…

via Goodshit

Testing Bulletproof Vests… The Hard Way…

You shoot me… Then I shoot you… Deal?

How They Cleaned Up The JFK International Airport Luggage Debacle…

JFK Airport Loses Everyone’s Luggage

Comments On The Russia / Georgia Kerfluffle…

This article on HuffPo speaks pretty closely to what’s going on over in the old Soviet territories… The comments are intelligent and insightful too.

Example:

Sundialsvc4 See Profile I’m a fan of this user

As far as America is concerned, much depends on “what do you want, and how badly do you want it?”

Right now, America seems to be content with paper-wealth in the hands of the few. As Russia and other countries well know, “this is no substitute for oil in the ground.” You can literally-print a million of your “Dollars” every minute around the clock (as America does do!), but this is no substitute for oil in the ground. It is also no substitute for a functioning, well-equipped factory on your own soil, producing your own goods from your own natural resources. Welfare, by any form or device, is no substitute for employment. Credit is no substitute for production and surplus.

Breakup of the Soviet Union was inevitable, because it wasn’t a “Union” to begin with. But the re-separation of that alliance back into its component parts should not be confused with the concurrent decision to abandon America’s cold-war. Wisely, one by one, other nations have realized that this only amounts to throwing good money down the toilet. Gen. Dwight Eisenhower told us the same thing but we haven’t listened to him or his ghost yet.

Maybe we should. Are we “happy?” Are we “strong?” Are we “secure?” Did the path we have taken in the last 60-odd years go in the “right” way? If the answer to all these is “no,” then what exactly are we waiting for?

Read More HERE

She’s Liberated And Inventive…

10 Quotable Quotes… Have Fun With ‘Em…

1. Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That’s relativity. – A. Einstein
2. Coincidence is God’s way of remaining anonymous. - A. Einstein
3. The world is a dangerous place to live, not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don’t do anything about it. – A. Einstein
4. Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart. – Steve Jobs
5. Computers are incredibly fast, accurate and stupid. Human beings are incredibly slow, inaccurate and brilliant. Together they are powerful beyond imagination. – A. Einstein
6. It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it. If you think about that, you’ll do things differently. – Warren Buffet
7. Innovation is the distinction between a leader and a follower. – Steve Jobs
8. If you make an ass out of yourself, there will always be someone to ride you. – Bruce Lee
9. The biggest argument against democracy is a five minute discussion with the average voter. – W. Churchill
10. Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by rulers as useful. – Seneca

How’s About A Balcony Smokehouse?

This Lady Loses It Because She Hit A Bird…

This poor lady loses her mind because a bird flew in front of her car and got itself mortally wounded… I wonder what she’d do if’n she killed a squirrel?

Amen Brother!!

I Guess You Could Call This A Death Tax…