I told O’Reilly Not To Let Her Drink The Bong Water In The First Place… Now She’s Gonna Think She’s Queen Of The Moon Bats Again!! Just Toss The Damn Thing In The Closet… She’ll Just Sit There And Sing To It…
I’m getting a heart catheterization… Wednesday. They’ll strap me down like a death row inmate and pump me full of a slightly radioactive fluid… But woe is me! I don’t get the knock out drops before the lethal concoction flows. On the other hand… I get to look the Dr. in the eye with an […]
In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death. (Like THAT makes sense.) In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman’s genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He […]
The Doctors sat they need to do lots and lots of “tests” to pin down the cause of my high blood pressure and chest pains… I think they’re milking the insurance company. But they’re doing a fine job of keeping me doped up. They say they’ll be sending me home tomorrow… That was Thursday… And […]
Scenario #1: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school. 1957 – Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies. 2007 – Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark… Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it. Scenario #2: Jeffrey won’t be still in […]
Most of the students entering College this fall, members of the Class of 2011, were born in 1989. For them, Alvin Ailey, Andrei Sakharov, Huey Newton, Emperor Hirohito, Ted Bundy, Abbie Hoffman, and Don the Beachcomber have always been dead. 1. What Berlin wall? 2. Humvees, minus the artillery, have always been available to the […]
Cat Likes Being Beat… Comes Back For More…
Having some chest pains and the BP is 199/117… Doc says take my butt to the ER asap… I don’t suspect my number is up yet… But I may not be able to get any posts up on time … Sooo… If I don’t die… I’ll be back posting nonsense pretty quick. See You Soon. […]
A Chinese couple are distraught after their three year old daughter threw their savings out of the window of their 17th floor flat. The little girl threw the equivalent of $1300 out of the window of their rented apartment in Shenzen while her parents were asleep. “When I woke up, she wasn’t beside me, and […]
When the story of the disgraced New York’s ex governor Eliot Spitzer broke I wasn’t surprised at all. It’s not that I knew about his rendezvous with high priced hookers, but it’s due to my long experience of driving hookers to men with and without power. Let me break it down for you ladies, if […]
Fuk Luk Sau, commonly referred to as the Gods of Blessings, Prosperity and Longevity are one of the most popular gods/deities in Chinese history. There are countless legends of the Fuk Luk Sau aiding and bestowing kindness on worthy mortals throughout the lands. Technically, they were originally astrological stars (hence the original name of Fuk […]
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Our Friends Alf and Watcharee are on the move in Thailand and stopped off to pick up a snack of BBQ ribs and rat… Looks like a really nice feast! See More At CorkScrew-Balloon
A Motto To Live By… A friend will help you move… Your best friend will help you move a body.
When I Posted These Pics… I Wondered What That Lady’s View Of Herself Was… Now I Know…
From eHow.com Think about it. Could you have an earthquake where you live? I lived in California for about 10 years and have been through some. Then our family moved to Iowa and I thought we were safe from earthquakes. Wrong! We’ve had a couple here too. Who would have thought. No matter where you […]
1. If you’re choking on an ice cube simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself. 2. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold while you chop. 3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using […]
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No Matter What You Do Today… Spare ‘Em A Thought… OK?
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