Let’s Start A New Religion… The Church Of The Universal Geode.

galaxy geode

Another WTF?!? Moment… If You Can Explain This One… Please Do… I Am Sooo Confused.


Booze, Debt, Die… Pretty Much Sums It Up….

booze debt die

Ladies… Get Him To Try This New Drink…

A woman and her boyfriend are out having a few drinks. While they’re sitting there having a good time together, she starts talking about this really great new drink. The more she talks about it, the more excited she gets, and starts trying to talk her boyfriend into having one.

After a while he gives in and lets her order the drink for him. The bartender brings the drink and puts the following items on the bar:

A salt shaker, a shot of Baileys, and a shot of lime juice. The boyfriend looks at the items quizzically and the woman explains

“First you put a bit of the salt on your tongue, next you drink the shot of Baileys and hold it in your mouth, and finally you slam the lime juice.”

So, the boyfriend, trying to go along and please her, goes for it.

He puts the salt on his tongue… salty but OK.

He drinks the shot of Baileys…smooth, rich, cool, very pleasant.

He thinks…this is OKAAAAAY!

Finally he picks up the lime juice and slams it.

In one second the sharp lime taste hits.

At two seconds the Baileys curdles.

At three seconds the salty, curdled taste and mucous-like consistency hits.

At four seconds it feels as if he has a mouth full of nasty snot.

This triggers his gag reflex, but being manly, and not wanting to disappoint his girlfriend, he swallows the now foul tasting drink.

When he finally chokes it down he turns to his girlfriend, and says, “Holy shit, what do you call that drink?”

She smiles angelically at him and says, “Blow Job Revenge.”

She’s Got Anal Glaucoma?!?!

A woman calls her boss one morning and tells him that she is staying home because she is not feeling well.

‘So, what’s the matter?’ he asks.

‘I have a case of anal glaucoma,’ she says in a weak voice.

And what the hell is anal glaucoma?’

‘I just can’t see my ass coming into work today.’