What To Get The Gun Nut Who Has Everything…


Not So Funny Now… Is It?

Little Johnny hears noises coming from his parent’s bedroom and opens the door to find mom folded over the dresser naked and dad banging her hard from behind.

Dad looks at Johnny, smiles and gives him a wink. Johnny closes the door and walks away.

Later that day dad is walking down the hall and hears a commotion in Johnny’s room. He opens the door to find grandma naked bent over the dresser and Johnny humping her hard from behind.

Screaming, dad enters the room and demands to know what the hell is going on and what does Johnny think he’s doing!?!?

Still visibly angry, Little Johnny looks up at his dad and says, “Not so funny when it’s your mom, is it?”

Serious Gangster Chicks…

gangster chicks

How To Talk To Women And Remain Politically Correct…

She is not a babe or chick…she is a breasted American
She does not scream or moan..she is verbally appreciative
She is not easy…she is horizontally accessible
She is not dumb…she took a detour off the information superhighway
She has not been around…she is previously enjoyed companion
She is not an airhead…she is reality impaired
She is not drunk or tipsy…she is chemically inconvenienced
She is not horny…she is sexually focused
She does not have breast implants…she is medically enhanced
She is not a nag..she is verbally repetitive
She is not a slut…she is sexually extroverted
She does not have major league hooters…she is pectorally superior
She is not a two-bit whore…she is a low cost provider

The President Goes To Hell…

George Bush has a heart attack and dies.

He goes to hell where the devil is waiting for him.

“I don’t know what to do here,” says the devil. “You’re on my list but I have no room for you, but you definitely have to stay here, so I’ll tell you what I’m going to do. I’ve got 3 people here who weren’t quite as bad as you. I’ll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I’ll even let YOU decide who leaves.”

George thought that sounded pretty good, so he agreed.

The devil opened the first room. In it was Richard Nixon and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and surfacing empty handed over and over and over. Such was his fate in hell. “No!” George said. “I don’t think so. I’m not a good swimmer and don’t think I could do that all day long.”

The devil led him to the next room. In it was Tony Blair with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time. “No! I’ve got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day!” commented George.

The devil opened a third door. In it, George saw Bill Clinton lying naked on the floor with his arms staked over his head and his legs staked in spread eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best. George Bush looked at this in disbelief for a while and finally said, “Yeah, I can handle this.”

The devil smiled and said….

“Monica, you’re free to go!”

Look What We Found In The Back Yard!..