More Funny Stuff… Thanks Jean!

Friends don’t
let friends
take home ugly men
Women’s restroom
Starboard, Dewey Beach, DE

Beauty is only a light switch away.
Perkins Library, Duke University, Durham, NC

If life is a waste of time,
and time is a waste of life,
then let’s all get wasted together
and have the time of our lives.
Armand’s Pizza, Washington, DC

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
The Bayou, Baton Rouge , LA

No matter how good she looks,
some other guy is sick and tired
of putting up with her shit.
Men’s Room
Linda’s Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill , NC

At the feast of ego
everyone leaves hungry.
Bentley’s House of Coffee and Tea, Tucson, AZ

It’s hard to make a comeback
when you haven’t been anywhere.
Written in the dust on the back of a bus,
Wickenburg, AZ

Make love, not war.
-Hell, do both
Women’s restroom
The Filling Station, Bozeman, MT

If voting could really change things,
it would be illegal.
Revolution Books
New York , New York .

If pro is opposite of con… then
what is the opposite of progress?
Men’s restroom House of Representatives,
Washington , DC

Express Lane:
Five beers or less
Sign over one of the urinals
Ed Debevic’s, Phoenix, AZ

You’re too good for him.
Sign over mirror in Women’s restroom
Ed Debevic’s, Beverly Hills ,CA

No wonder you always go home alone.
Sign over mirror in Men’s restroom,
Ed Debevic’s, Beverly Hills ,CA

A Woman’s Rule of Thumb:
If it has tires or testicles,
you’re going to have trouble with it
Women’s restroom
Dick’s Last Resort, Dallas, TX


Smart man + smart woman = romance

Smart man + dumb woman = affair

Dumb man + smart woman = marriage

Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy


Smart boss + smart employee = profit

Smart boss + dumb employee = production

Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime



A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.

A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn’t


A woman worries about the future until she gets a

A man never worries about the future until he gets a

A successful man is one who makes more money than
his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.


To be happy with a man, you must understand him a
lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.


Married men live longer than single men do, but
married men are a lot more willing to die.


A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but
he doesn’t.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t
change, and she does.


A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a
new argument.


Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking
me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, “You’re
next.” They stopped after I started doing the
same thing to them at funerals.

Still in Hospital… Learning to walk again… Have a few Jokes

Damn Texicans!

A large group of Taliban soldiers are moving down a road when they hear a voice call from behind a sand-dune. “One Texas soldier is better than ten Taliban.
The Taliban commander quickly sends 10 of his best soldiers over the dune whereupon a gun-battle breaks out and continues for a few minutes, then silence.
The voice then calls out, “One Texan is better than a hundred Taliban soldiers.” *Furious, the Taliban commander sends his next best 100 troops over the dune and instantly a huge gunfight commences… After 10 minutes of battle, again silence.
The Texan voice calls out, “One Texan is better than one thousand Taliban”. The enraged Taliban Commander musters a thousand fighters and sends them over the dune… Cannon, rocket and machine gun fire rings out as a huge battle is fought. Then silence.
Finally one wounded Taliban fighter crawls back over the dune and with his dying words tells his commander, “Don’t send any more men, its a trap. *
*There’s two of them.”*