If you can’t live without me, why aren’t you dead already? – Unknown The male chromosome is an incomplete female chromosome. In other words the male is a walking abortion; aborted at the gene stage. To be male is to be deficient, emotionally limited; maleness is a deficiency disease and males are emotional cripples. – […]
Would you like to replace my business partner who died this morning? I’ll arrange it with the undertaker. People say that you are outspoken, but not by anyone that I know of. Your conversation is like the waves of the sea. It makes me sick! We can always tell when you are lying. Your lips […]
I’m busy now. Can I ignore you some other time? I’ve seen people like you before, but I had to pay admission! If I ever need a brain transplant, I’d choose yours because I’d want a brain that had never been used. If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person alive. If we […]
You skanky Misfit. You dweeby Slut. You moronic Fat-Ass. You utterly friendless Rat. You ugly Hog.
“Oh my God, look at you. Anyone else hurt in the accident?” – Don Rickles” Like a death at a birthday party, you ruin all the fun… Like a sucked and spat out smartie, you’re no use to anyone.” – John Cooper Clarke “He has a face like a Saint – A Saint Bernard.” – […]
“I’ve noticed that everyone who is for abortion has already been born” – Ronald Reagan “A fellow with the inventiveness of Albert Einstein but with the attention span of Daffy Duck.” – Tom Shales talking about Robin Williams “If I found her floating in my pool, I’d punish my dog.” – Joan Rivers on Yoko […]
“He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.” – Groucho Marx “He has a face like a Saint – A Saint Bernard.” – Anon “Who picks your clothes – Stevie Wonder?” – Don Rickles “When He comes into a room, the […]
I’ll never forget the first time we met – although, I’ll keep trying. – anonymous You’re so dumb, your fingers and toes are numbered. – anon Hello – tall, dark and obnoxious! – Mary G. from Tucson
You’d be out of your depth in a parking lot puddle. -anon You are an indescribably dissolute slattern and a vapid, chromosome deficient mental midget with the natural grace of a swamp rat. – unknown Whose horrible image doth unfix my hair and make my seated heart knock at my ribs? – Shakespeare
You’re just another Internet-addicted idiot suffering from diarrhea of the mouth and constipation of the mind. – unknown Hang, beg, starve, die in the streets. – Shakespeare Is thy name Mouldy? – Shakespeare Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.– Oscar WildeÂÂ
Your momma’s so fat that when she walks across the living room the radio skips. – unknown Your momma’s So hairy she shaves with a weedwacker. – unknown Your momma’s so dumb her shoes say TGIF – toes go in front. – unknown Your momma’s got one leg and people call her Ilene. – unknown
You don’t have enough brains to find water after falling down a well – unknown You’re so fat that when God said “Let there be Light”, he told you to move your fat ass out of the way – anonymous You have a face like a bulldog chewing a stinging nettle while taking a constipated […]
Why is it that the people with the smallest minds always have the biggest mouths? -anon You have that certain nothing. – anonymous You are a wickedly grotesque misdemeanant and a deplorable, Internet-addicted mass of loathsome repulsiveness. – unknown
You couldn’t get a clue during clue mating season in a field of clues if you smeared your body in musk and did the clue mating dance. – unknown Your momma’s teeth are so yellow cars slow down when she smiles. – anonymous You are a frightfully parasitic dreck and a malodorous, all-defiling leaking carbuncle […]
She’s so cold…Her period comes in cubes.- unknown There was something about you that I liked, but you spent it. – unknown I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought I’d rather dance with the cows until you come home. Groucho Marx
Poisonous bunch backed toad. – Shakespeare He is open to incontinency. – Shakespeare He looks like a poor, decayed, ingenious, foolish, rascally knave. – Shakespeare His days are foul and his drink dangerous. – Shakespeare
if I took your tiny brain and rolled it down the edge of a razor blade, it would be like a lone car going down a six lane highway – Anonymous Your momma’s so fat she broke a branch off of the family tree. – Anon You are a frightfully miserable sycophant and a hopeless, […]
Whatever is eating you – must be suffering horribly. – anon You should do some soul-searching. Maybe you’ll find one. – anon I hear that when your mother first saw you, she decided to leave you on the front steps of a police station while she turned herself in. – unknown A brain of feathers, […]
I hear the only place You are ever invited is outside. – anon I’d like to leave you with one thought…but I’m not sure you have anywhere to put it! – unknown He’d make a lovely corpse. – Charles Dickens He was trying to save both his faces.- John Gunther
You are a shockingly uncivilized yokel and a flaccid, sock-sucking scourge of decency. – unknown You are a woefully narcissistic yokel and a demented, coma-inducing gruesome vista to all eyes assaulted by the sight of you. – unknown You are a grievously unsightly malefactor and a gluttonous, air-polluting piece of excrement attached to a dog’s […]
Her only flair is in her nostrils. – Pauline Kael I wish I’d known you when you were alive. – Leonard Louis Levinson Behind every great man, there is a surprised woman. – Maryon Pearson
Her only flair is in her nostrils. – Pauline Kael I wish I’d known you when you were alive. – Leonard Louis Levinson Behind every great man, there is a surprised woman. – Maryon Pearson His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork. – Mae WestÂÂ
I’d like to see things from your point of view but I can’t seem to get my head that far up my ass. – My Wife I bet your brain feels as good as new, seeing that you’ve never used it. – Denise I bet your mother has a loud bark! – Anon I could […]
“A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s. She changes it more often.”- Oliver Herford “A wife of 40 should be like money… You should be able to change her for two 20′s”- Me! “She tells enough white lies to ice a cake” – Dorothy Parker “She’s got such a narrow mind, when she walks […]
If brains were wind, you would not have enough to blow your nose. – anon You must be the arithmetic man – you add trouble, subtract pleasure, divide attention, and multiply ignorance. – Al from SF You must have gotten up on the wrong side of the cage this morning. – My Wife He has […]
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