Today’s Insults

Your momma’s so dumb she couldn’t read an audio book. – Anon

You are a devilishly fiendish misdemeanant and a maladjusted, dandruff-eating buggering bum bandit. – Unknown

I don’t know what makes you so stupid, but it really works! – anonymous

I’m looking forward to the pleasure of your company since I haven’t had it yet. – Ralph from NYC

Human Error?! I thought it was the Tiger

Denver Zoo: Zookeeper At Fault In Fatal Mauling

A Denver Zoo keeper who was attacked and killed by a jaguar had violated the rules by opening the door to the animal’s cage, zoo officials said Tuesday.

Zoo Vice President Craig Piper said the February death of Ashlee Pfaff was caused by “human error.”

(READ MORE)

Vatican issues 10 Commandments for drivers

Got road rage? The Vatican on Tuesday issued a set of “Ten Commandments” for drivers, telling motorists to be charitable to others on the highways, to refrain from drinking and driving, and to pray you make it before you even buckle up.An unusual document from the Vatican’s office for migrants and itinerant people also warned that automobiles can be “an occasion of sin” — particularly when they are used for dangerous passing or for prostitution.

It warned about the effects of road rage, saying driving can bring out “primitive” behavior in motorists, including “impoliteness, rude gestures, cursing, blasphemy, loss of sense of responsibility or deliberate infringement of the highway code.”

It urged motorists to obey traffic regulations, drive with a moral sense, and to pray when behind the wheel.

(READ MORE)

Our Poor Troops!

Guard shoots at colleague outside Walter Reed hospital

A security guard at Walter Reed Army Medical Center opened fire at another guard Wednesday outside a busy entrance to the hospital, police said. No one was injured.

The guards had been arguing at about 8:30 a.m. when one of them fired as many as 10 shots, Lt. Jimmie Riley said.

The other guard, who was not hit, ran to a nearby house to call police, Riley said. The guard who fired the shots was taken into custody.

“We’re very fortunate,” Riley said. “It could’ve been tragic.” (READ MORE)