Upload Problems – New Posts on Saturday!


Today’s Insults

Your momma’s so dumb she couldn’t read an audio book. – Anon

You are a devilishly fiendish misdemeanant and a maladjusted, dandruff-eating buggering bum bandit. – Unknown

I don’t know what makes you so stupid, but it really works! – anonymous

I’m looking forward to the pleasure of your company since I haven’t had it yet. – Ralph from NYC

Human Error?! I thought it was the Tiger

Denver Zoo: Zookeeper At Fault In Fatal Mauling

A Denver Zoo keeper who was attacked and killed by a jaguar had violated the rules by opening the door to the animal’s cage, zoo officials said Tuesday.

Zoo Vice President Craig Piper said the February death of Ashlee Pfaff was caused by “human error.”


Vatican issues 10 Commandments for drivers

Got road rage? The Vatican on Tuesday issued a set of “Ten Commandments” for drivers, telling motorists to be charitable to others on the highways, to refrain from drinking and driving, and to pray you make it before you even buckle up.An unusual document from the Vatican’s office for migrants and itinerant people also warned that automobiles can be “an occasion of sin” — particularly when they are used for dangerous passing or for prostitution.

It warned about the effects of road rage, saying driving can bring out “primitive” behavior in motorists, including “impoliteness, rude gestures, cursing, blasphemy, loss of sense of responsibility or deliberate infringement of the highway code.”

It urged motorists to obey traffic regulations, drive with a moral sense, and to pray when behind the wheel.


Our Poor Troops!

Guard shoots at colleague outside Walter Reed hospital

A security guard at Walter Reed Army Medical Center opened fire at another guard Wednesday outside a busy entrance to the hospital, police said. No one was injured.

The guards had been arguing at about 8:30 a.m. when one of them fired as many as 10 shots, Lt. Jimmie Riley said.

The other guard, who was not hit, ran to a nearby house to call police, Riley said. The guard who fired the shots was taken into custody.

“We’re very fortunate,” Riley said. “It could’ve been tragic.” (READ MORE)

Light Posts Today…Long Day @ Work





Insults of the Day

Here’s where we we get out the thesaurus and look up synonyms for “garbage.” – Mike LaSalle (about the movie, Shanghai Knights)

You take the lies out of him, and he’ll shrink to the size of your hat; you take the malice out of him, and he’ll disappear. – Mark Twain

There goes the famous good time that was had by all. – Bette Davis

She got her good looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon. – Groucho Marx

Happy Fathers Day Ol’ Boy!

fathers Day

Nobody says it better than Eric

Insults of the Day

Looking at some people… Darwin would NOT be pleased to see how inefficiently evolution sometimes works. – Me
Maybe you wouldn’t be such a Jerk-In-The-Box if you weren’t intellectually slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through a vat of chunky peanut butter – Bobby

You have a face that people rub tree branches on to make ugly sticks. – anonymous

My View on Immigration…Illegal and Otherwise

My opinion is never humble…So I expect that more than a few people will find themselves offended… Tough.

With all of the babbling and blustering and bullshitting we’re subjected to regarding the effects that immigration and immigrants are having on the USA… No politician or pundit seems to have the balls or the good sense to say what truly needs to be said.


We’re not going to send away 12 million people and split up families and wreck the economy… So get over it all of you “hard liners”. They’re here… Some of ‘em are queer… get used to it. But… there is something we can do to close the borders and thereby kill two birds with one stone. We can staunch the hemorrhaging of jobs and maybe reinvigorate wages while at the same time providing a “real” deterrence to the potential terrorists that for the life of me I can’t figure out why they haven’t walked a big one across the desert yet… I assume that they haven’t been able to get their grubby little hands on one yet.

But… Sooner or later they will get their hands on something… chemical, biological or nuclear… And I’ll bet you a bundle that the conversation in the caves of northern Pakistan will go something like this… ” Osama…Look at the news… They have thousands per day that walk across from Mexico and they barely pay attention!” … “And look at all of the drugs and such that get in with no problems”… “Forget the container through the port”… “We’ll pay some smuggler a few grand and pick the city we want the “package” and the people dropped off in.” Honestly… How hard do you suppose it is to get into Mexico?

San Diego, L.A., Vegas, Phoenix, Tucson, El Paso, San Antonio… Ouch!… Pick any one… that’s gonna hurt. And these are just the cities within a day’s drive of the border. Then… A six pack of Red Bull puts you in San Francisco, Salt Lake City or Denver. Seems to me that our politicians aren’t very serious about saving our hides if they’re allowing the border patrol to be recruited for service in Iraq.

So… What to do?… Shoot em of course! A simple policy change with a 30 or 60 day warning period … Well publicized of course… That after a date certain… The hard and fast rule is:


No warning… No amnesty… No quarter… If you are observed crossing a U.S. border… any U.S. border at other than an established crossing point… The military and Border Patrol’s standing orders are to shoot you. Plain and simple… on sight.

The borders will be heavily posted in several languages warning of this particular consequence. Bodies will be tallied… photographed, DNA samples taken and then immediately cremated. Done.
I expect that 90 days after implementation… The border will be a lonely place indeed.

Shooting at the border is standard practice in many countries for illegal entrants… So the U.N and other “civilized” folks can argue the point all they want. In fact… We should pull any “funding” that we can to make this a reality from aid to and tariffs on goods from the countries that scream the loudest. And if Mexico squawks about it’s citizens… Let’s put a healthy tax on any funds being wired into central america. That should in itself fund plenty of infrastructure and personnel to get the job done since over $30 billion per year is sent out.

So… Does this make me a Nazi?… a Fascist?… a proponent of Volksgemeinschaft? … No.

Well… Maybe a modified version of that last one.  But what I definitely am… is a concerned citizen of a border city with young children at home and another young one entering the work force who is of draft age. We should be asking our esteemed politicians what they think about this before we give up our much coveted votes. We should be demanding to know why… If National Security is such a big deal and our nation is under imminent attack by bloodthirsty terrorists who “hate us because we’re free”. Why …oh why… are we not protecting our home? I know I (and a lot of other Americans) have got the right to shoot an intruder in my house if I fear for my life… Is this any different?

An Email from my Sister – in – Law

From: crystal

Date: June 15, 2007 10:00:28 AM MST

Subject: FW: Stupid People

Thought you might get a kick out of this…some of these are pretty funny!


Don’t show it off if you can’t wear it correctly.
Yeah, this is safe.

for sale

Spray-painting the side of your house
does not increase its perceived value.

Ever heard of a leash?
One sign that you’re spending too much time at the computer.

Couldn’t they have worded this differently?

goth girl
Carolyn felt like she never quite fit in amongst the goth crowd.

Great follow-up sign.

Maybe this was her favorite skirt. Or, maybe she’s
crying tears of relief that she wore panties today?

The smiley face is a nice touch.

And the news room goes silent…

You have to love how no one has seen him yet …

beer cans
Steady sleeper.

There are just some things you can’t un-see


Horse Dick

Links to the Old Site

I haven’t figured out how to bring the old site over yet.. But there are some real goodies over there. I may start to recycle them just to get them here… But for now… Please go and check out the archives over there.

Los Cuatro Ojos

the old site.fishes

Today’s Insults

“He doesn’t know the meaning of the word “fear” – but then again he doesn’t know the meaning of most words” – Anon.

I don’t know what makes you so dumb but it really works”- Anon.

“I don’t think you are a fool, but what’s my opinion compared to that of thousands of others”- Anon.

“He does the work of three men: Larry, Curly & Moe” - Anon.

My Ex Mother in Law

ex mominlaw

My Mother in Law


# 2 Son and The Girl Child in a Rare Quiet Moment


My Second Wife


My First Wife

first wife

What About Vegans?


30 Strangest Animal Mating Habits.


Ah, sex. Birds do it, bees do it. Wait a minute! How exactly do they do it? The mating rituals of some animals are wonderfully bizarre. For example: did you know that some insects genitals explode during sex? Or that some fish can change gender?

Intrigued? Read on for 30 of the most bizarre animal mating habits.

No posts for Tuesday… Will Post on Wednesday

play naked

Jokes and Silly Stuff Today… Enjoy!

If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

Why do the signs that say “Slow Children” have a picture of a running child?

Why do they call it “chili” if it’s hot?

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

Have you ever seen a toad on a toadstool?

My Wife’s Idea of a Toolset

tool set

Subject: attorney vs witness-a bit of humor for a Monday

These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts of America, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, “Where am I, Cathy?”
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan.
ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he’s twenty-one..
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
ATTORNEY Did you check for breathing?
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.