I have 6… count ‘em, Six… English Mastiffs… And one Miniature Pinscher that hardly counts as a dog… Nonetheless… There’s well over 600 pounds of hound in my yard.
We had a tick outbreak.Ã… They attacked Saturday early morning… The advance scouts must have shown up on Friday… When they discovered all that dogmeat… They mounted an invasion that Dick Cheney would have been proud of.
Invaded is actually an understatement… Overwhelmed is more like it. Hitler “invaded” Poland… This was more like the 12 million illegal immigrants thing… We woke up and they had become an integral part of our lives.
Well… There’s no endless debating of immigration policy at my house… You know my views on illegal immigration. We marshalled our forces and defended our borders!
After a careful check of the records… we concluded that no tick… brown, dog, deer, spotted or otherwise; had applied for… or been issued any visa, work permit, green card or refugee status granting them permission to reside in the land of Los Cuatro Ojos… That made them illegal immigrants.
Anyone not familiar with my border policy can check here… It is clearly spelled out that trespassers will be dealt with lethally. Sorry.
The Final Solution…. Tick Dip all around. The stuff we had on hand for some strange reason listed it’s application in square footage… Now… for some that’s not too alarming due to the fact that most dogs don’t convert to much square footage…But… How do you get a peekapoo to stay still long enough to measure?… That’s your problem. Us? We just measure the laziest one and multiply… We found out that we have enough dog to convert to a lot of square feet… even though the little one does present a bit of an issue.(not quite a square foot of him)
We figured around 11 sq ft per hound… That’s 1450 square inches per critter! 42 inches neck to tail times 17 inches of body height times 2 sides plus a bit for legs, tail, head and other attachments. They’d make decent area rugs… Not quite enough to go wall to wall in a small bedroom… Then again… A really nice king size bed spread! Nevermind! So… Plus the little dog we’ve got around 67 square feet of animal to dip.
Number one son is working …so he can’t come over to help… so it’s number two son and me… His first tick dip.
The big dogs are unhappy… My back hurts… Number two son is walking wounded… plus the little dog now has a skin condition…
And I have ticks.