Los Cuatro Ojos

Portland, OR’s Red Dress Party… A Major Bash… Even Chelsea Clinton Showed Up

How come I never get invited to these big bashes?!?!

I’ve spent all these years building up this tremendous cleavage and when the chance to show the “twins” off comes up… Where am I?… Reading about it!… Now all I can do is dream about going down to Annie’s Plus Size Shop and picking out a fire engine red size 40 44 48… er… 50 that would show off my generous assets… Then slapping on a pair of red fishnets over these hairy, meaty thighs… Stealing the old lady’s paint kit and some bling and off to a night on the town!… No heels for this “girl” though… I’m strictly a flats person… Oh well… There’s always next year… Maybe I’ll See You There!

From BYRON BECK at Willamette Week…

Getting dressed can be a bitch. Especially when you’re a man trying to find the right dress for the evening. Such is the drama of the 8th Annual Red Dress Party .

This small shindig was started years ago as a way for gay guys to wear girlie gowns and get stinkin’ drunk. But this much-loved party has evolved over the years. Now one of the most colorful fundraisers out there (last year the group gave away more than $25,000 to local nonprofits supporting queer youth or helping people with AIDS), it attracts over 1,500-plus attendees, including straight men and women, state legislators and anybody else who likes to rock on with their frock on.

And this year’s soiree, “Red Sea,” is sure to attract an ocean’s worth of party-goers with the inclusion of Storm Large and her Balls at a big Northeast PDX warehouse.

There’s only one rule: You have to wear a red dress to attend. No culottes. No kilts.

“The exciting aspect of this party is getting people outside the box and seeing their interpretation of a dress,” says Cheri Betts, a Red Dress board member. “It’s not about dressing in drag…but creating a costume that fits your personal style. Making everybody wear a dress levels the playing field for all genders.”

That’s why this time of year it’s pretty hard to find a red dress…especially if you’re a size 24. And then there are stares as you scan the racks at Red Light looking for the right li’l number.

Not to be confused with that other annual “Red Dress” fundraiser, this is the “Red Dress Party,” a mondo-alcohol-fueled dance party where nearly 2,000 men in various states of red dress undress (and several nearly naked men as well as one very colorfully decorated naked woman) invade a warehouse in Northeast Portland and dance their collective asses off to pounding disco music…

I’ll admit that my cleavage isn’t quite this spectacular… But I’m much, much firmer!!

Lots & Lots More Pics HERE… The Pics Get A LOT More Interesting If You Select From Pic# 65…

HERE’S Some after event commentary and more pics by Byron…

Superstitions… Do You Follow Any Of These?…

1. If salt was borrowed from anyone, you paid it back with sugar or bad luck would come to you. 
2. If you broke a mirror you would have seven years of bad luck
3. A baby was never allowed to look in a mirror before it was a year old or it would die. 
4. You always say so long or I’ll see you later, & never goodbye, when leaving family members or you might never see them again.
5. If a woman was pregnant she never went to a funeral or she would mark her baby.
6. You never tickled a baby’s feet because it would make it stutter.
7. Dirt was never swept out the front door after the sun went down or bad luck would come to your home.
8. If a sparrow flew into the home, it had to be killed or someone in the family would die.
9. When your palm itches, you will come into some money.
10. If you carry a hoe, spade, or shovel in the house, you must carry it out the same door you came in by, or a death will follow.

Read More HERE

Funny Lookin’ Cat…

Ayumi Hamasaki – Dearest

They Were More Diplomatic In The Old Days… Today, We’d Just Haul Off And Tell The Little Woman… Right?.. Right?!?

And just why would she not know this?… If it’s bad enough to run him out of the house and she still can’t smell it… It’s time to call an ambulance!

My Wife Says My Work Area (Our Living Room) Is Getting A Bit Messy…

Did I Mention That Fred Sanford Is My Hero?  

Another Time Waster… I Will Only Admit To Losing 20 Minutes Of Production Time…

Should you miss a deadline or appointment… Do Not Blame LCO… This devious bit of “entertainment” was submitted by Ms. Jones…http://vili.us/hypno.html 

U.S. Military Pays Top Dollar For Fuel In Oil-Rich War Zone… New Fuel Efficient Vehicles Unveiled…

Think you’re being gouged by Big Oil? U.S. troops in Iraq are paying almost as much as Americans back home, despite burning fuel at staggering rates in a war to stabilize a country known for its oil reserves.  (READ MORE) Our new technology assures that we will have Iraq sorted out in much less than the 100 years that John McCain predicts… We should be out in 50 years tops…