Out Of The Mouths Of Drunks…

  1. “People tell me, ‘Oh, you just drink to escape your problems.’ Well, no shit. I’d eat rat heads if it let me ditch my problems.”
  2. “That jerk is the ugliest, smelliest, assholiest fuck-face on the planet. I would never sleep with him again.”
  3. “Alcoholism is the only disease they yell at you for having.” 
  4. “I don’t hide inside the bottle. The bottle hides inside me.” 
  5. “A hangover is just Beer’s way of reminding you you shouldn’t have stopped.”
  6. “If you want something you’ll have to speak up.  I can understand Drunk all day long but I’m not fluent in Shit Head.”
  7. “You better stop drinking because you’re getting blurry.”
  8. “I’m afraid of three things: Women, snakes, and the police. They all have the ability to hurt me and make it look like it was my fault.”
  9.  “If you want to drink all day, you gotta start early.”
  10. “Let’s drink ‘til we can’t feel feelings anymore.”

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