- “People tell me, ‘Oh, you just drink to escape your problems.’ Well, no shit. I’d eat rat heads if it let me ditch my problems.”
- “That jerk is the ugliest, smelliest, assholiest fuck-face  on the planet. I would never sleep with him again.”
- “Alcoholism is the only disease they         yell at you for having.”  
- “I don’t hide inside the         bottle. The bottle hides inside me.”  
- “A hangover is just Beer’s way of reminding         you you shouldn’t have stopped.”
- “If you want something you’ll         have to speak up.  I can understand Drunk all day         long but I’m not fluent in Shit Head.”
- “You better stop drinking because you’re         getting blurry.” 
- “I’m afraid of three things:         Women, snakes, and the police. They all have the ability         to hurt me and make it look like it was my fault.”
-   “If you         want to drink all day, you gotta start early.”
- “Let’s drink ‘til         we can’t feel feelings anymore.”
 
 
        
		 
		  
			
	 
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