I Like This Guy’s Style!.. The Last Paragraph Pretty Much Says It All For Me…

There was a shooting recently at a church where four people ended up being killed by some kid who was disgruntled because he couldn‘t go on a church field trip. So instead of dealing with the fact that he was left behind in a rational manner he decided to blast some of his fellow church members for leaving him out. A security guard wound up shooting the lone gunman and saved a lot of people in the process.

The woman was an ex-police officer who had plenty of training on how to take down a violent suspect. This morning at the gym I see the lady who stopped the shooter on TV making a speech for all the major media. She went on to explain how “God” guided her through the event and was responsible for her ability to bring this horrible event to a close.

I take issue with this woman, or any other person for that matter, claiming that “God” was responsible for her heroic actions.

The only problem with this statement is that same all-powerful God that saved this lady from the shooter was also responsible for the deaths of the people who were shot before he was stopped. This reminds me of every time a football player takes a knee in the endzone and points his hand up in the air to the magical dude in the sky who has nothing better to do in this infinite universe but watch a stupid football game. Even if he is watching the game then what about the other team who just got scored on? Unless they are the Atlanta Atheists I seriously doubt god would root for one team over the other. So that leaves us with a little predicament. How can this all knowing and great god let something like crazy lone gunman going on a shooting rampage at a church happen? You would think out of all the places god would keep you safe a church would be the first one.

After shedding light on this whole paradox I am only able to come to one conclusion. GOD DOES NOT GIVE A SHIT. When I say he doesn‘t give a shit, I mean about everything. Your Kids, Your Football Team, Your Car, Your Family, This Earth, EVERYTHING.

There is a good reason for this. That reason is the fact that if this one all knowing being did create the ENTIRE UNIVERSE made up of billions of different stars and galaxies then the dude probably doesn‘t have time to worry about what‘s happening to a couple of flesh bags on a distant rock out there in the vastness of space. In fact if he is responsible for everything then he shouldn‘t have one spare moment of time to even think about what some crazy human being on the planet they call Earf is doing. Otherwise he would spend all his time trying to figure out how to get Skyler‘s parents the new Tickle Me Jerko doll.

It‘s sad to say but if people started taking responsibility for their own actions (bad or good) and stopped saying shit like “God helped/made me do it” then we could avoid more tragedies like this. . The same God that created this woman and placed her in a position to stop the shooter also created the shooter and placed him in a position to kill four other people before god‘s helper (security guard lady) stepped in a took him down. So was god a little late to the party or was he off at a sportsbar watching the Patriots kick Steeler ass all over the playing field?

Lemme make it real simple for you. God is like the video game developer that made Grand Theft Auto. Instead it‘s Grand Theft Universe! Essentially he makes a world that you can play in and have the free will to do whatever the hell you want. You have the choice to NOT drive directly to the Haitian neighborhood (or whatever ethnicity you choose) and run over a mob of suspicious purple clothed gang members. Unfortunately sometimes people don‘t feel like NOT killing and get a little carried away in their God delusions. Which is exactly what happened in this situation. The reason innocent people die and your favorite football team just got beat is because no matter how loud you yell god doesn‘t hear you. It‘s not because he doesn‘t have ears. He invented them. He just doesn‘t give a shit. So leave him alone and stop saying you are doing things in his name. He has an entire universe to run and he doesn‘t have time to deal with all that nonsense.

Greg J.
Greg J., gregj@crazyshit.com

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