Los Cuatro Ojos

The Difference Between Men And Women…

A Woman’s Perfect Day

8:15 - Wake up to hugs and kisses

8:30 – Weigh-in… 5 lbs lighter than yesterday

8:45 – 9:00 – Breakfast in bed…freshly squeezed orange juice and croissants; open presents… expensive jewelry chosen by thoughtful partner

9:15 – Soothing hot bath with frangipani bath oil

10:00 – Light work-out at club with sexy, funny personal trainer

10:30 – Facial, manicure, makeup application, shampoo, condition, blow wave

12:00 – Lunch with best friend at fashionable outdoor café

12:45 – Catch sight of partner’s ex and notice that she has gained 22lbs

1:00 – Shopping with friends: unlimited credit

3:00 – Nap

4:00 – Three dozen roses delivered by florist; card is from secret admirer

4:15 – Massage from strong but gentle hunk-says he rarely gets to work on such a perfect body

5:30 – Choose outfit from expensive designer wardrobe

7:30 – Candlelit dinner for two followed by dancing, with compliments received from other diners/ dancers

10:00 – Hot shower- alone

10:50 – Carried to bed… freshly ironed, crisp, white linen

11:00 – Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling

11:15 – Fall asleep in his big, strong arms

A Man’s Perfect Day

6:00 – Alarm

6:15 – Blow job

6:30 – Massive, satisfying shit while reading the sports section

7:00 – Breakfast-steak and eggs, coffee and toast-all cooked by naked, buxom wench who bends over a lot

7:30 – Limo arrives

7:45  – Several beers en route to the airport

9:15 – Flight in personal Lear jet

9:30 -  Limo to Mirage Resort Golf Club… (blow job en-route)

9:45 – Play front nine (2 under par)

11:45 – Lunch-steak and lobster, 3 beers and bottle of Dom Peringon

12:15 - Blow job

12:30 – Play back nine (4 under)

2:15 - Limo back to airport (several bourbons)

2:30 – Fly to Bahamas

3:30 – Late afternoon fishing expedition with all-female crew, all nude who also bend over a lot

4:30 – Land world record Marlin (1234lbs)-on light tackle

5:00 – Fly home, massage and hand job by naked Elle Macpherson

6:45 – Shit, shower and shave

7:00 – Watch news… Michael Jackson assassinated

7:30 – Dinner-lobster appetizers, Dom Peringon (1953), big juicy fillet steak followed by ice cream served on a big pair of tits

9:30 -  Sex with three women… all with lesbian tendencies

11:00 – Massage and Jacuzzi with tasty pizza snacks and a cleansing beer

11:30 – Night-cap blow job

11:45 – In bed alone

11:50 -  A 22-second fart which changes note 4 times and forces the dog to leave the room

11:51 – Laugh yourself to sleep