The Difference Between Men And Women…
A Woman’s Perfect Day
8:15 - Wake up to hugs and kisses
8:30 - Weigh-in… 5 lbs lighter than yesterday
8:45 - 9:00 - Breakfast in bed…freshly squeezed orange juice and croissants; open presents… expensive jewelry chosen by thoughtful partner
9:15 - Soothing hot bath with frangipani bath oil
10:00 - Light work-out at club with sexy, funny personal trainer
10:30 - Facial, manicure, makeup application, shampoo, condition, blow wave
12:00 - Lunch with best friend at fashionable outdoor café
12:45 - Catch sight of partner’s ex and notice that she has gained 22lbs
1:00 - Shopping with friends: unlimited credit
3:00 - Nap
4:00 - Three dozen roses delivered by florist; card is from secret admirer
4:15 - Massage from strong but gentle hunk-says he rarely gets to work on such a perfect body
5:30 - Choose outfit from expensive designer wardrobe
7:30 - Candlelit dinner for two followed by dancing, with compliments received from other diners/ dancers
10:00 - Hot shower- alone
10:50 - Carried to bed… freshly ironed, crisp, white linen
11:00 - Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling
11:15 - Fall asleep in his big, strong arms
A Man’s Perfect Day
6:00 - Alarm
6:15 - Blow job
6:30 - Massive, satisfying shit while reading the sports section
7:00 - Breakfast-steak and eggs, coffee and toast-all cooked by naked, buxom wench who bends over a lot
7:30 - Limo arrives
7:45 - Several beers en route to the airport
9:15 - Flight in personal Lear jet
9:30 - Limo to Mirage Resort Golf Club… (blow job en-route)
9:45 - Play front nine (2 under par)
11:45 - Lunch-steak and lobster, 3 beers and bottle of Dom Peringon
12:15 - Blow job
12:30 - Play back nine (4 under)
2:15 - Limo back to airport (several bourbons)
2:30 - Fly to Bahamas
3:30 - Late afternoon fishing expedition with all-female crew, all nude who also bend over a lot
4:30 - Land world record Marlin (1234lbs)-on light tackle
5:00 - Fly home, massage and hand job by naked Elle Macpherson
6:45 - Shit, shower and shave
7:00 - Watch news… Michael Jackson assassinated
7:30 - Dinner-lobster appetizers, Dom Peringon (1953), big juicy fillet steak followed by ice cream served on a big pair of tits
9:30 - Sex with three women… all with lesbian tendencies
11:00 - Massage and Jacuzzi with tasty pizza snacks and a cleansing beer
11:30 - Night-cap blow job
11:45 - In bed alone
11:50 - A 22-second fart which changes note 4 times and forces the dog to leave the room
11:51 - Laugh yourself to sleep
