The Most Honest Love Song Ever…

The Old FourEyes Has Just Found His New Theme Song….

New Business Lingo… Learn It… Live It.

CEO — Chief Embezzlement Officer

CFO — Corporate Fraud Officer

BULL MARKET — A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

BEAR MARKET — A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.

VALUE INVESTING — The art of buying low and selling lower.

P/E RATIO — The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.

BROKER — What my broker has made me.

STANDARD & POOR — Your life in a nutshell.

STOCK ANALYST — Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

STOCK SPLIT — When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.

FINANCIAL PLANNER — A guy whose phone has been disconnected.

MARKET CORRECTION — The day after you buy stocks.

CASH FLOW — The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

YAHOO — What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.

WINDOWS — What you jump out of when you’re the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR — Past year investor who’s now locked up in a nuthouse.

PROFIT — An archaic word no longer in use.

I Don’t Like Bud… But I Like This Bud Flash Drive!

That’s Real Beer In There…

Budwieser Flash Drive

Get Your HERE 

Hell…The Good News And The Bad News…

One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell.  As he is wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with the devil …

Satan:  ‘Why so glum?’

Guy:  ‘What do you think? I’m in hell!’

Satan:  ‘Hell’s not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here.  You a drinking man?’

Guy:  ‘Sure, I love to drink.’

Satan:  ‘Well, you’re gonna love Mondays then.  On Mondays, that’s all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, Tab and Fresca.  We drink ’til we throw up and then we drink some more!  And you don’t have to worry about getting a hangover, because you’re dead anyway.’

Guy:  ‘Gee that sounds great!’

Satan:  ‘You a smoker?’

Guy:  ‘You better believe it’

Satan:  ‘All right! You’re gonna love Tuesdays.  We get the finest cigars from all over the world and smoke our lungs out.  If you get cancer – no biggie, you’re already dead, remember?’

Guy:  ‘Wow … that’s awesome!’

Satan:  ‘I bet you like to gamble.’

Guy:  ‘Why, yes, as a matter of fact I do.’

Satan:  ‘Good, ’cause Wednesdays you can gamble all you want.  Craps, blackjack, roulette, poker, slots, whatever.  If you go bankrupt, it doesn’t matter, you’re dead anyhow.’

Guy:  ‘Cool!’

Satan:  ‘What about drugs?’

Guy:  ‘Are you kidding?  Love drugs!  You don’t mean …?’

Satan:  ‘That’s right!  Thursday is drug day.  Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack or smack.  Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine.  You can do all the drugs you want. You’re dead so who cares.’

Guy:  ‘Wow! I never realized Hell was such a cool place!’

Satan:  ‘You gay?’

Guy:  ‘No…’

Satan:  ‘Oooo, Fridays are gonna be tough …

Start Your Monday Off Right… Revamp Your Complaint Department…

Complaint Department

I’ll Bet When You Took This Job… You Thought It Was A Real One… Didn’t You?

Test Job

The Goldfish Funeral…

Meetings… Let’s Have Some More!…


The World’s Stock Markets…

Ready For The Digital TV Switchover?…

Phone Message Pad For The Economic Downturn Era…

Shit happened

The Bad News… No Bonus This Year…

Beer Water Cooler