Today’s Insults

What a brazen faced varlet art thou. – Shakespeare

 I see that you set this time aside to humiliate yourself. – Unknown

There’s two things I really hate about you: your face! – unknown

I would ask you how old you are, but I know you can’t count that high. – Kely from Phoenix

My Friend Sherry thinks I can still be saved

With millions, if not thousands, of devout worshippers, the Church of the FSM is widely considered a legitimate religion, even by its opponents – mostly fundamentalist Christians, who have accepted that our God has larger balls than theirs.

For Sherry – A Re-post!

The Great Taste of Human Flesh, Without the Guilt


So what does human flesh taste like? Their FAQ says, “If you’ve never had human flesh before, think of the taste and texture of beef, except a little sweeter in taste and a little softer in texture. Contrary to popular belief, people do not taste like pork or chicken.” (MORE)

Eau de Daddy Means Later Periods

The pheromones produced by biological fathers may influence a girl’s sexual maturity
Your dad is a man whose babies you do not want to bear. It is gross, criminal in many countries, and would be genetically ruinous for your consanguineous offspring.

What’s more, this ancient evolutionary no-no seems to have startling modern day implications for female maturation. A study of 2,000 US college girls published in the American Journal of Human Biology in July 2006 shows that daughters who grow up without their fathers tend to have their first period earlier than those who blossom under their dad’s wing. Robert Matchock, who led the retrospective survey at Pennsylvania State University Altoona, believes there is a mechanism at play here that helps prevent inbreeding.

An Intelligent Designer on the Cow

Our Creator’s stream of consciousness while fabricating the cow
Today, I feel like doing a plant …  no, an animal. Yes, today, I am going to make an animal. And it will be a masterpiece. I shall call it the…. No wait! Maybe I should think of the name later. Yes, you should always name your pieces after you have completed them. Better that way.

And we won’t even get a kiss or a cuddle!