Gigantic Apes Coexisted with Early Humans, Study Finds
A gigantic ape standing 10 feet tall and weighing up to 1,200 pounds lived alongside humans for over a million years, according to a new study.
Fortunately for the early humans, the huge primate’s diet consisted mainly of bamboo.
Uncategorized | TheFourEyes May 15, 2007 | 
Comments (0)
One From the Old Days
What will our big cities be like in 1000 years?
These were all major cities in their day.
In the adding-insult-to-injury department, being pricked multiple times with a needle while a nurse tries in vain to find a vein ranks pretty high. The problem can be acute with infants and the obese.
Jim Larsen, a researcher at the Georgia Institute of Technology, was in the hospital once and required several blood tests. All the poking caused swelling and inflammation in his arms, which made it increasingly difficult for nurses to find his veins.
“It often took seven or eight tries,” Larsen recalls. “It wasn’t long before I felt like a pin cushion.” (MORE)
You are a preposterously foul narcissist and a decadent, mattress-soiling pulp of stultifying inanity. – Unknown
You should do some soul-searching. Maybe you’ll find one. – anonymous
Don’t be ignorant all your life, take a day off why don’t you? - Zoidberg
I wish I’d known you when you were alive. – Leonard Louis Levinson
The posts are a bit loopy today… I’m a bit loopy my self… I had outpatient surgery today and I’m a bit doped up. Ahh… Painkillers! The human brain does love opiates… doesn’t it?
Information | TheFourEyes May 14, 2007 |
Comments (0)
The Price of Children
Something absolutely positive for a change. I have repeatedly seen the breakdown of the cost of raising a child, but this is the first time I have seen the rewards listed this way. It’s nice.
The government recently calculated the cost of raising a child from birth to 18 and came up with $160,140 for a middle income family. Talk about sticker shock! That doesn’t even include college tuition.
But $160,140 isn’t so bad if you break it down. It translates into:
* $8,896.66 a year,
* $741.38 a month, or
* $171.08 a week.
* That’s a mere $24.24 a day!
* Just over a dollar an hour.
Still, you might think the best financial advice is don’t have children if you want to be “rich.” Actually, it is just the opposite. What do you get for your $160,140?
* Naming rights. First, middle, and last!
* Glimpses of God every day.
* Giggles under the covers every night.
* More love than your heart can hold.
* Butterfly kisses and Velcro hugs.
* Endless wonder over rocks, ants, clouds, and warm cookies.
* A hand to hold, usually covered with jelly or chocolate.
* A partner for blowing bubbles, flying kites.
* Someone to laugh yourself silly with, no matter what the boss said or how your stocks performed that day.
For $160,140, you never have to grow up. You get to:
* finger-paint,
* carve pumpkins,
* play hide-and-seek,
* catch lightning bugs, and
* never stop believing in Santa Claus.
You have an excuse to:
* keep reading the Adventures of Piglet and Pooh,
* watching Saturday morning cartoon s,
* going to Disney movies, and
* wishing on stars.
* You get to frame rainbows, hearts, and flowers under refrigerator magnets and collect spray painted noodle wreaths for Christmas, hand prints set in clay or Mother’s Day, and cards with backward letters for Father’s Day.
For $160,140, there is no greater bang for your buck. You get to be a hero just for:
* retrieving a Frisbee off the garage roof,
* taking the training wheels off a bike,
* removing a splinter,
* filling a wading pool,
* coaxing a wad of gum out of bangs, and coaching a baseball team that never wins but always gets treated to ice cream regardless.
You get a front row seat to history to witness the:
* first step,
* first word,
* first bra,
* first date, and
* first time behind the wheel.
You get to be immortal. You get another branch added to your family tree, and if you’re lucky, a long list of limbs in your obituary called grandchildren and great grandchildren. You get an education in psychology, nursing, criminal justice, communications, and human sexuality that no college can match.
In the eyes of a child, you rank right up there under God. You have all the power to heal a boo-boo, scare away the monsters under the bed, patch a broken heart, police a slumber party, ground them forever, and love them without limits, So . . one day they will, like you, love without counting the cost. That is quite a deal for the price!!!!!!!
Love and enjoy your children and grandchildren!
~To The World You Might Be One Person; But To One Person You Might Be the World~
Well….Since you put it that way.
While in China, Fred is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom all the time.
A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots.
Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor.
The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells Fred to return in two days for the results.
Fred returns a couple of days later and the doctor says, “I’ve got bad news for you — you’ve contracted Mongolian VD. It’s very rare and almost unheard of here. We know very little about it.”
Fred looks a little perplexed and says, “Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, doc.”
The doctor answers: “I’m sorry, there’s no known cure. We’re going to have to amputate your penis.”
Fred screams in horror, “Absolutely not! I want a second opinion.”
The doctor replies, “Well, it’s your choice. Go ahead if you want, but surgery is your only choice.”
The next day, Fred seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring that he’ll know more about the disease.
The Chinese doctor examines his penis and proclaims: “Ah, yes, Mongolian VD. Very rare disease.”
Fred says to the doctor: “Yeah, yeah, I already know that, but what can we do? My American doctor wants to operate and amputate my penis!”
The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs: “Stupid American doctor, always want to operate. Make more money that way. No need to operate!”
“Oh, Thank goodness!” Fred replies.
“Yes,” says the Chinese doctor. “You no worry! Wait two weeks. Fall off by itself! You save money.
I don’t think you’re a fool, but what’s my opinion compared to that of thousands of others? – unknown
“We’ve all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.” – Robert Wilensky
Your momma’s mouth is so big she speaks in surround sound. - anonymous
I’d like to break the monotony; where’s your weakest point? - anonymous
Uncategorized | TheFourEyes May 12, 2007 |
Comments (0)
Jokes, Just Plain Silly | TheFourEyes May 11, 2007 |
Comments (0)
People say that you are the perfect idiot. I say that you are not perfect but you are doing all right. – unknown
She’s got more chins than the Hong Kong telephone book. – unknown
He’s so ugly, he’d make a freight train take a dirt road! – unknown
Every person has the right to be ugly, but you abused the privilege. - unknown
Secrets on all kinds of DVD’s
HERE
Information | TheFourEyes May 10, 2007 |
Comments (0)
Interactive Map of Human Migration
Journey of Mankind
Who were our ancestors? From where did we originate? If we came out of Africa, what factors governed our routes? And when? Now finally this interactive map reveals this epic journey.
This game is just like Simon… Only on the globe.
You may have received a forwarded message in your email inbox lately with the following subject: Don’t pump gas on May 15th!!
The idea is that if everyone who sees the email will refuse to fill up their tank on that day “it would take $2,292,000,000.00 (that’s almost 3 BILLION) out of the oil companies pockets for just one day.
Sounds good, until you think about it. Everyone who doesn’t buy fuel that day will have to hit the pumps in the following days, so we figure that those sales will even out Wednesday’s losses. (MORE)
You must have a very large brain to hold such a vast amount of sheer ignorance. – Anonymous
Your momma’s so dumb she thought Condoleeza Rice was a Mexican Side Dish. - Unknown
You are an irredeemably foolish trollop and a decrepit, gossip-mongering cause of suffering to your parents. – anonymous
You’re so ugly she could scare the moss off a rock! – unknown
“He has the attention span of a lightning bolt.” – Robert Redford
“He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.”-Forrest Tucker
“Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?”
Mark Twain
You are a precociously subliterate parasite and a vapid, disease-ridden cause of wailing and gnashing of teeth. – Anonymous
Insults | TheFourEyes May 9, 2007 |
Comments (0)
So where did I leave off?.. Oh yeah… 50 yards from the van and feeling like the left side of my face is drooping.
Sooo… We actually make it to the van with less agravation than it would take to describe here. Then its time to load the goods. While I’m trying to get the girl child into the van so I can keep track of her… Auntie instructs #2 son to “Quit standing around!… Get those bags into the van!”… And this with much waving around of the lit ciggie.
So #2 son… being the dutiful child that he is (we raised him to respect his elders)… Grabs a 50 pound sack of dog food that’s jammed into the car and hoists with all of his might… Of course the kid only outweighs this thing by about 25 pounds… What do you suppose happens? Right-O!… Down he goes!… on his back. The bag breaks.
Auntie now screams the boys name and while (inadvertently!) flicking ashes on him… proceeds to inform him just what a clumsy ox he is. Does’nt offer him a hand. Does’nt ask if he’s OK. But she does however… Succeed in reducing the boy to tears.
The girl child is now scrambling over the seats to get a better view as I struggle to get to the middle door to get out of the van. Somehow … I manage to get my feet tangled up in a couple of bags that have mysteriously appeared on the floor behind me… “Sounds like Chips Ahoy! crumbling to me”… I think as I begin falling like a cut tree towards the door that is still closed… Had #1 son been there… He surely would have yelled “Timberrrr!” “This won’t hurt too bad” I think… “I’m mostly gonna hit the seat.” It’s amazing how even though things are happening in slow motion… There’s no time to panic.
Now… I’m not a little guy… I’m pushing 300 pounds… Hard! Ooof!! Head and shoulder into the door… Just miss the glass. Side hits the armrest. Every wisp of air in my body goes away… Simply abandons me. My lungs seem to have forgotten what air is… Not my brain though!.. “Breathe dammit!” … My brain screams… “Or I’ll make you crap your pants!… So help me I will!” “I’m trying!”.. I think back… “I seem to have forgotten how though!”
In the clarity of impending death… I notice that the girl child is now calmly standing over me with a curiously bemused expression on her face… She wants to laugh… She’s not sure of her escape route though… Auntie… meanwhile is oblivious to my plight and is still giving #2 son the once over. “Help!!” …I scream silently to Daddy’s Little Girl… She gets it… So she screams… Loud.
Auntie now makes her way around the van and yanks open the door I’m propped against… Letting me drop another 12 inches which turns out to be just enough to jerk my body sideways enough to kick start my diaphragm. I suck in a big breath just in time to save myself further embarassment. I begin to screeh something to the effect of “get this crap off of my feet!” Little girl is already on the case.
Auntie is now trying to climb into the van over me ostensibly to help pick me up… Did I mention that Auntie is 5 feet tall and weighs about 100 pounds?.. And that she’s 80?… And has a bad back?… And I’m in a van?… Full of seats?… And a hyperactive 9 year old? … Did I mention that Auntie had a lit cigarette in her hand?… which she instinctively transferred to her mouth and clenched between her gums… Did I mention that Auntie has no teeth?… I’m sorry… I thought I did.
As she claws her way over my bulk… Hot ash falls on my face… Now I’m Moving! Auntie loses her perch and start to fall backwards… Time slows… Clarity… “Self”… I say to myself… “If she hits the ground … You, my friend will be dealing with a broken hip.”… “Forget your pain”… “Save yourself that agony”… Somehow… I snag the front of the fanny pack.. She comes to a dead halt. Cigarette still held firmly in her gums. She puffs.. Steps backward … and calmly asks if I’m OK.
I’m not. But I say I am. In the mean time… #2 son has wisely chosen to not get involved and to take advantage of his reprieve from Auntie’s wrath and get to work picking up dog food. He’s raided one of Auntie’s ubiquitous stashes of grocery bags that she stashes in any available space … Just in case we need them (of course the van needs at least 100 of them) and the boy is industriously loading about 5 pounds each with dog food. He’s got maybe 4 ready. Auntie is pleased. Vindication shines in her eyes.
So… I struggle through the pain… in my head, back, neck and foot… And we get the van loaded. It’s been over four hours since we left the house… Did I mention that Wal Mart is five minutes away? It’s hot… The van smells like Old Roy dog food… Each kid and Auntie have a bag of loose dog food in their laps… It’s very quiet. The kids sense that old dad’s not in the mood for any hijinks… Auntie is sulking… I’ve snapped at her to put her damn cigarette down and help bag dog food. I’ll live to pay for that transgession… It was a half of a cig. Tomorrow’s another day.
I’m 65 today, and the Armed Forces say I’m too old to track down terrorists. (You can’t be older than 35 to join the military.)
They’ve got the whole thing backwards. Instead of sending 18-year-olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn’t be able to join a military unit until you’re at least 35 .
For starters:
Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day (say what?), leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.
Young guys haven’t lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. If we can’t kill the enemy we’ll complain them into submission. “My back hurts! I’m hungry! Where’s the remote?”
An 18-year-old hasn’t had a legal beer yet and you shouldn’t go to war until you’re at least old enough to drink. The average old guy, on the other hand, has consumed 126,000 gallons of beer, and a jaunt through the desert heat with a beer and an M-60 would do wonders for the old beer belly.
(Note there are 24 hours in a day and 24 bottles in a case…another convenient way to measure time!) Yeah, well, not so sure about that part …..
An 18-year-old doesn’t like to get up before 10 a.m.
Old guys always get up early to pee.
If captured we couldn’t spill the beans because we’ve forgotten where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.
Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We’re used to getting screamed and yelled at and we like soft food. We’ve also developed an appreciation for guns. 
We like them almost better than naps.
They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I’ve been in combat and didn’t see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training. I can hear the Drill Sgt now, “Get down and give me … ER … One.”
Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy. I’ve never seen anyone outrun a bullet.
An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He’s still learning to shave, to carry on a conversation, and to wear pants without the top of his butt crack showing and his shorts sticking out. He’s hasn’t figured out that a pierced tongue catches food particles, and that a 400-watt speaker in the back seat of a Honda can rupture an eardrum, and that a baseball cap has a brim to shade eyes, not the back of his head.
These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm’s way.
Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten cowards who attacked us on September 11. The last thing an enemy would want to see right now is a couple of million old farts with attitudes.
“He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.”
Abraham Lincoln
“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”
Mark Twain
“I feel so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here.”
Stephen Bishop
Insults | TheFourEyes May 8, 2007 |
Comments (0)
Great Pics of a Ghost town near my town
When the Spirit moves us… We go camping out here.
