On a plastic orange juice can: “100% pure all-natural fresh-squeezed orange juice from concentrate.”
I once saw an ad for some type of contest on a candy bar. The wrapper said “No purchase necessary – Details Inside.”
Directions for eating Lunchables Nachos: Dip chips in cheese and salsa.
On a television commercial that says it cleans dentures 4 times better. Below in small print it said “Lab test: (their product) vs. water.
On the label of Sterno is a warning that says, “Do not use near fire or flame.” Check it out!
Asuncion is Paraguay’s capital and five times winner of the ‘least expensive city on earth’ title. But can cheap really mean cheerful?
With a bundle of decrepit banknotes in my pocket, I stroll the narrow boulevard of Palma, a mix of 60′s-style financial buildings and Spanish colonial relics that stretches for miles across downtown Asuncion. The harsh heat and the dizzying array of bargains on offer from somnambulant street vendors is making me thirsty. I stumble across a darkened cafe where two waiters with moustaches the size of cactus branches sit asleep on the porch. I nudge them from their slumber and order a glass of wine.
Not yet au fait with the currency of Paraguay, I place the smallest denomination I have on the table. The moustaches wiggle in surprise. Within minutes, four whole bottles of very decent Chilean wine land on my table. ‘Friends come soon?’ one moustache enquires. I thought I knew what a bargain was, but it seems Asuncion was going to make me seriously reassess the concept. (READ MORE)
If you suveyed a hundred typical middle-aged Americans, I bet you’d find that only two of them could tell you their blood types, but every last one of them would know the theme song from the ‘Beverly Hillbillies’. — Dave Barry
Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victems he intends to eat until he eats them. — Samuel Butler
Most vegetarians look so much like the food they eat that they can be classified as cannibals. — Finley Peter Dunne
Everyone has a right to a university degree in America, even if it’s in Hamburger Technology. — Clive James
By Isaac Asimov
Isaac Asimov was the most prolific science fiction author of all time. In fifty years he averaged a new magazine article, short story, or book every two weeks, and most of that on a manual typewriter. Asimov thought that
The Last Question, first copyrighted in 1956, was his best short story ever. Even if you do not have the background in science to be familiar with all of the concepts presented here, the ending packs more impact than any other book that I’ve ever read. Don’t read the end of the story first!
(THE LAST QUESTION)
“Science without religion is lame. Religion without science is blind.”
“Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.”
“Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from weak minds.”
No time to brush your teeth? No problem – if you’ve got No Time Gum! This multifunctional minty mélange contains tiny granules that scrub your teeth clean as a whistle while you chew. Is this cool, or what? Gum that works as hard as you do while saving you time and, presumably, dentist visits. I can just hear Mom now… “Chew your gum before going to bed!” (chewing gum via J-List)
(READ MORE)
1. Specify that your drive-thru order is “to go.”
2. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
3. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will “swipe your grub.”
4.Name your dog “Dog.”
5. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions “to keep them tuned up.”
6. Reply to everything someone says with “that’s what you think.”
7. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your “astronaut training.”
8. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.
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HERE …. You can see a new pic every day of some space phenomenon
I’ve noticed that images in older posts have not been loading… I’m fixing them as fast as possible… I’m all the way back to July and I have to fix some text also… I can fix about 20 posts per day…
Please be patient!
Information, Just Plain Silly | TheFourEyes October 4, 2007 | 
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