I Wonder… Was She Blonde?…

Upon arriving home, a husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife.

Tearfully, she explained, “It’s the pharmacist. He insulted me terribly this morning on the phone. I had to call multiple times before he would even answer the phone.”

Immediately, the husband drove downtown to confront the pharmacist and demand an apology.

Before he could say more than a word or two, the druggist told him, “Now, just a minute… listen to my side of it. This morning, the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up… So I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, just to realize that I’d locked the house with both house and car keys in side and had to break a window to get my keys.”

“Then, driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket… Later, when I was about three blocks from the store, I had a flat tire.” “When I finally got to the store, a bunch of people were waiting for me to open up. I got the store opened and started waiting on these people.

All the time, the darn phone was ringing off the hook.” He continued… “Then, I had to break a roll of nickels against the cash register drawer to make change, and they spilled all over the floor… So I had to get down on my hands and knees to pick up the nickels, and the phone was still ringing… When I came up I cracked my head on the open cash drawer, which made me stagger back against a showcase with a bunch of perfume bottles on it. Half of them hit the floor and broke.”

Meanwhile, the phone is still ringing with no let up, and when I finally got back to answer it. It was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer.

“And believe me mister, as God is my witness… all I did was tell her where to put it!”

Properly Pronounced English… Merican Style.

  • Bar: To take temporarily. “May I bar your eraser?”
  • Dense: A tooth expert. “Yuck!  I have a dense appointment today.”
  • Forced: A large cluster of trees. “Only you can prevent forced fires.”
  • Lays:  The opposite of genmen. “Lays and genmen,…”
  • Lining:  Electrical flash of light.  “We abandoned our picnic when we heard the thunder and saw the lining.”
  • Mere:  A reflecting glass. “Mere, mere on the wall…”
  • Mince:  Unit of time (60 sec.). “I’ll be back in a few mince.” 
  • Money:  Second day of the week. “I’ll be back next Money.
  • Neck Store: Adjacent “I’m in love with the girl neck store.”
  • Please: Officer(s) of the law.  “My house was robbed, call the please.” 
  • Sunny:  The first day of the week. “When Sunny comes, can Money be far behind?” 
  • Then:   A conjunction “I like Sunny better then Money.”
  • Winner: The cold season of the year “Many birds fly south for the winner.”

Alf’s got Some Cool Africa Pics…