Stage #1 — Smart
This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject. You
know all and greatly wish to express this knowledge to anyone who
will listen. At this stage you are also always right. And of course
the person you are talking with is very wrong. You will talk for
hours trying to convince someone that you are right. This makes for an
interesting argument when both parties are “smart”. Two people talking,
in fact, arguing about a subject neither one really knows anything
about, but are convinced that they are they complete authority on the
subject makes for great entertainment for those get the opportunity to
Stage #2 — Handsome/Pretty
This is when you are convinced that you are the best looking person in
the entire room and everyone is looking at you. You begin to wink at
perfect strangers and ask them to dance because of course they had been
admiring you the whole evening. You are the center of attention, and all
eyes are directed at you because you are the most beautiful thing on the
face of the earth. Now keep in mind that you are still smart, so you can
talk to this person who has been admiring you about any and all subjects
under the sun.
Stage #3 — Rich
This is when you suddenly become the richest person in the world. You can
buy drinks for the entire bar and put it on your bill because you surely
have an armored truck full of your money parked behind the bar. You can
also make bets in this stage. Now of course you still know all, so you
will always win all your bets. And you have no concern for how much
money you bet because you have all the money in the world. You will also
begin to buy drinks for all the people in the bar who are admiring you
because you are now the smartest, prettiest, and richest person on the
face of the earth.
Stage #4 — Bulletproof
You can now pick fights with the people you have been betting money with
because you cannot be hurt by anything. At this point you would go up to
the boyfriend of the woman who had been admiring your beautiful self
all evening and challenge him to a battle of wits for money. You have no
worry about losing this battle of wits because you know all, have all
the money to cover this bet, and you obviously win a fight that might
erupt if he looses.
Stage #5 — Invisible
This is the final stage of drunkenness. At this point you can do
absolutely anything because no one can see you. You can get up and dance
on a table; you can strip down to your underwear, to impress the people
who have been admiring you all evening, because the rest of the people
in the room cannot see you. You are also invisible to the person whom
you have picked a fight with earlier in the evening. You can walk through
the streets singing at the top of your lungs (because of course you are
still smart and know the tune perfectly) and no one will think anything
of it because they can’t see you. All your social inhibitions are
gone. You can do anything, because no one will know.
And you certainly won’t remember !
A man has accused Britain’s National Health Service of breaching his human rights by prescribing him just one Viagra tablet a week.
Dad of two George Fryer, 54, has a bend in his willy which causes erection problems.
The security guard says he is a “stallion” when on the drug and romping with girlfriend Janice Roberts, 39, in Stoke, Staffs.
But he was heartbroken when he found NHS guidelines restricted him to four tablets a month.
George – whose marriage broke up due to his problem – fumed: “This is a ban on my sex life.”
A married couple was in a car when the wife turned to her husband and asked, “Would you like to stop for a coffee?”
“No, thanks,” he answered truthfully. So they didn’t stop.
The result? The wife, who had indeed wanted to stop, became annoyed because she felt her preference had not been considered. The husband, seeing his wife was angry, became frustrated. Why didn’t she just say what she wanted?
Unfortunately, he failed to see that his wife was asking the question not to get an instant decision, but to begin a negotiation. And the woman didn’t realize that when her husband said no, he was just expressing his preference, not making a ruling. When a man and woman interpret the same interchange in such conflicting ways, it’s no wonder they can find themselves leveling angry charges of selfishness and obstinacy at each other.
I KNEW I shouldn’t have signed up at Chix-Horses-Watersports-Spank me-Highheels.com using my real email address!!
– Consumers of Internet pornography who secretly signed up for memberships on adult-oriented Web sites in the past few months may be in for a shock — some of their personal information, including e-mail addresses, may have been compromised by a security breach.
Though the breach, which potentially could affect tens of thousands of customers, reportedly did not involve the theft of credit card information, it could nonetheless have a significant impact on the lucrative Internet pornography industry, according to those who monitor the market. These observers note that online porn relies, as much as anything else, on the promise that its customers can enjoy complete anonymity as they indulge their favorite niche pastimes from the privacy of their own computers.
The breach has raised serious alarm in the world of adult-oriented Web sites, with many concerned about the effect on customers if they learn that their most secret transactions are not so secret after all.
Customers may also be more reluctant to report a problem when the issue involved is online pornography. “Would you really want someone out there to know you surf porn sites, and the hardcore bondage stuff?” said Kimmel. “The guy out there buying a membership for his own personal pleasure has no clue.”