Los Cuatro Ojos

My Friend Pancho Speaks Spanglish…

And before anyone gets their knickers twisted over some imagined PC slight… I really do have a friend named Pancho… And he did send this email…. So Shaddup!

> BUDWEISER: Your ruca has a nice looking ass BUDWEISER face so ugly?
>
> BODYWASH: I can’t go to tha cantina tonite cuz no BODYWASH my kids.
>
> SHOULDER : My tia wanted 2 become a citizen but she didn’t know how to read so I SHOULDER.
>
> COCKATOO: My friend was in the bathroom and I told him to hurry because I had to go COCKATOO!
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> SODAS: My vieja has beeg tatas and SODAS her sister.
>
> JUICY: Hey vato, I will roll the joint, and ju tell me if JUICY the cops!!!
>
> JUAREZ: My viejita slapped me and I said JUAREZ your damn problem!
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> TISSUE: Hey vato if you don’t know how to do it, let me TISSUE how!
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> HEATER: My lil sister started to choke…Perro my mom told me to HEATER in the back!
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> BRIEF: Hey homes, my lady farted in the car and I couldn’t BRIEF!
>
> JULY : Ju tol me ju were going to tha store and JULY to me!… Julyer!!!
>
> MUSHROOM : When my familia gets in the car……There’s not MUSHROOM left!
>
> CHEESE : I went to dis bar and some vato try to hit up on my vieja. I said ay vato CHEESE with me!!
>
> TEXAS : My pinche friend always TEXAS me with dumb jokes.
>
> WATER : My vieja gets mad and I don’t even know WATER problem is!
>
> HERPES : Me & my ruca order some pizza, I got my piece & she got HERPES.
>
> HIGHWAY : I turned around in bed, looked at my wife and said HIGHWAY! Put some make-up on cabrona…you scared me!
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> HORCHATA : You can keep talking your crap, HORCHATA hell up!
>
> FRITO :After arguing with the pinche policia he told me I was FRITO go!