Woo!!… 64K of RAM and a 4″ screen…
New Jersey State Police arrested a 47-year-old man whose alleged display of a topless Barbie doll and explicit porn magazines inside his car caused a stir at a Garden State Parkway rest area.
Robert Martin also had women’s underwear on a platter on the dashboard of his car, investigators said.
The car is still at the Ocean View Service Plaza, but the porn is not; state police seized it.
People there said they certainly haven’t forgotten the graphic images they saw inside.
“There was just stuff strategically placed and all of it was based around pornography,” said Christie Ostrander.
It was a XXX eyeful that Ostrander said she got when she looked inside Martin’s Lincoln as it was parked at the busy Ocean View Service Plaza on the Garden State Parkway in Dennis Township.
“Very explicit pornography,” she said. “It was a mixture of pornography, a Bible, cross, it was all laid out perfectly. Nobody should have to really be exposed to that.”
Ostrander works at the New Jersey information center and said people began complaining a couple weeks ago about porn DVD cases and magazines on the seats and center console along with a topless Barbie doll on the dash board.
“There was a thong on a gold platter,” Ostrander said.
“It’s crazy, I mean, anybody could see that stuff. That’s no good, especially for kids,” Chris Kelley, who saw pornography in the car, said.
“I didn’t think that possessing porn inside your car, in the back seat, was a public display,” Robert Martin said. “It was not on public display, it was not a public shrine.”
Martin admits the car and the porn belong to him, but said he only had it in the car because he is in the process of moving.
- A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, “Don’t lie to me. I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state.”
- I got a call from a man who asked, “Is it possible to see England from Canada?” I said, “No.” He said “But they look so close on the map.”
- Another man called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had a 1-hour lay over in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, “I heard Dallas was a big airport, and I need a car to drive between the gates to save time.”
- A woman called and said, “I need to fly to Pepsi-cola on one of those computer planes.” I asked if she meant to fly to Pensacola on a commuter plane. She said, “Yeah, whatever.”
- A businessman called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him he needed a visa. “Oh no I don’t, I’ve been to China many times and never had to have one of those.” I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, “Look, I’ve been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express.”
With news that the U.S. Treasury is getting the go-ahead to use billions of federal dollars to guarantee the debts held by Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae, many Americans can’t help but wonder, “What’s so damn special about those two companies? I have debt too. How can I get the government to shore up my debt?”
It’s not that hard. The problem with most Americans is that no matter how hard they try with their credit cards, student loans, and mortgages it can be hard to rack up more than $60,000 or $70,000 in debt, which the government thinks is small potatoes. If you want to make sure the government uses tax dollars to pay off your debt, you gotta spend big!
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