- We have enough youth. How about a fountain of “Smart”?
- A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
- Ninety-nine percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
- I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
- If we aren’t supposed to eat animals, why are they made with meat?
- Campers: Nature’s way of feeding mosquitoes.
- Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep.
- Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?
- Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway.
- We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
- If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
- On the other hand, you have different fingers.
- The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.
- Work is for people who don’t know how to fish.
- If everything is coming your way, then you’re in the wrong lane.
- It’s bad luck to be superstitious.
- Honk if you like peace and quiet.
- Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
- Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
- The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
- We are all part of the ultimate statistic—ten out of ten die.
- Diplomacy is the art of letting someone else get your way.
- Stop repeat offenders. Don’t re-elect them!
- I intend to live forever. So far so good.
- What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
- Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
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