- What’s the difference between Chemistry and cooking? In Chemistry, you should never lick the spoon.
- Did you hear about the chemist who was reading a book about Helium? He just couldn’t put it down.
- Why are chemists great for solving problems? They have all the solutions.
- What do you do with a dead chemists? Barium
- A small piece of ice which lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. “Bunsen! my flame! I melt whenever I see you” said the ice. The Bunsen burner replied :”It’s just a phase you’re going through”.
- A neutron walks into a restaurant and orders a couple of cokes. As she is about to leave, she asks the waiter how much she owes. The waiter replies, “For you, No Charge!!!”
- If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate!
Two atoms are walking down the street.
Says one atom to the other, “Hey! I think I lost an electron!”
The other says, “Are you sure??”
“Yes, I’m positive!”
- Why does hamburger have lower energy than steak? Because it’s in the ground state.
- According to a chemist, why is the world so diverse? Because it’s made up of alkynes of people.
And A Bonus For The Real Chemists Out There:
What weapon can you make from the elements potassium, nickel and iron? A KNiFe.