Cheney’s Office Damaged in Fire… Heh.. Heh.. No Comment… I Don’t Want To Be Declared An Enemy Combatant And Guantanamo’ed.

Thick smoke billowed from a fire Wednesday in Vice President Dick Cheney’s suite of offices in the Eisenhower Executive Office Building next to the White House.Cheney’s office, known for its historical furnishings and ornate decorations, was damaged by smoke and water from fire hoses, officials said. There was concern about water damage to the floor, made of mahogany, white maple and cherry and considered to be very delicate.

The adjacent office of the vice president’s political director, Amy Whitelaw, was heavily damaged by fire, said Cheney spokeswoman Lea Anne McBride.

The vice president was not in the building at the time; he was in the West Wing of the White House with President Bush.

Andy Borowitz  on Huffington Post has a little something to add though: 

Attempting to Destroy CIA Tapes, Cheney Burns Down White House

The White House, one of the most historic structures in the nation’s capital, burnt to the ground today after Vice President Dick Cheney attempted to incinerate a cache of CIA interrogation tapes in his office.

According to White House aides, the blaze started shortly after twelve noon, minutes after Mr. Cheney slipped out of a cabinet meeting, saying that he had to “hit the head.”

But rather than using the bathroom as he had stated, the vice president instead went to his office and put a blowtorch to a pile of CIA interrogation tapes which the White House had feared might be subpoenaed in the near future.

“I started burning those things and boom, they went up like a rocket,” an apologetic Mr. Cheney later told reporters.

The accidental blaze quickly spread from the videotapes to a nearby stack of transcripts of phone conversations involving Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid and singer Barbra Streisand that Mr. Cheney had obtained via a warrantless wiretap.

“Once those transcripts caught on fire, I knew the building was a goner,” Mr. Cheney said. “There were literally thousands and thousands of pages of that stuff.”

Speaking in front of the charred remains of the historic building, administration spokesperson Dana Perino said that the White House might have been saved had it not been for an unfortunate bureaucratic mix-up: “Instead of calling the fire department, President Bush called FEMA.”

Courtesy of HuffPo 

Diagnosing Health Problems By Looking At Your Fingernails…

Fingernail color and texture can reflect a wide range of medical conditions.


A Guide to Healthy Fingernails:

10 Possible Signs of Serious Conditions:


Nail Appearance Associated Condition
White nails Liver diseases such as hepatitis
Yellowish, thickened, slow-growing nails Lung diseases such as emphysema
Yellowish nails with a slight blush at the base Diabetes
Half-white, half-pink nails Kidney disease
Red nail beds Heart disease
Pale or white nail beds Anemia
Pitting or rippling of the nail surface Psoriasis or inflammatory arthritis
“Clubbing,” a painless increase in tissue around the ends of the fingers, or inversion of the nail Lung diseases
Irregular red lines at the base of the nail fold Lupus or connective tissue disease
Dark lines beneath the nail Melanoma

Now.. Before you call the Dr. and start screaming about your heart disease and Lupus… Take off the red nail polish and: Read More HERE

The Same Guy Invented Leaded Gasoline AND CFC’s… Ain’t Karma Something?

In 1921, after a long string of inadequate solutions, a clever but chronically catastrophic chemist named Thomas Midgley developed a fuel additive which eliminated ping problems while increasing fuel efficiency. Though the chemical agent eventually gained worldwide acceptance, it left a rash of psychosis, a trail of bodies, an epidemic of crime, and an irreparably damaged environment in its wake.

thomas Midgley Mr. Midgley, the father of leaded gasoline continued his distinguished career by inventing chlorofluorocarbons (CFCs), the refrigerants and aerosol propellants which famously destroyed a considerable section of the Earth’s ozone layer before they were banned. Along the way Midgley received an awesome array of awards for his contributions to chemistry, many of which were later regretted upon discovering the damage done by his innovations. He did not survive to witness the disassembly of his successes, however. After becoming impaired by a polio infection, Midgley devised a machine with motorized pulleys to assist him in rising from bed and turning over. One day in 1944, as his automatic contraption sprang into action, he was ensnared in the cords and strangled to death.

Some historians have argued that Midgley’s tetra-ethyl lead was a necessary evil; one which hastened the progress of efficient engines, thereby advancing the economy and contributing to victory in World War II. It is worth noting, however, that in the early years of Ethyl’s availability, basic refinery advances boosted the base octane of fuel by 20-30 points, whereas Ethyl additive only boosted it by about nine points. In retrospect, Ethyl’s octane improvements were somewhat overstated, and the product owed most of its success to crafty marketing, misleading research, and chronic government incompetence. Whatever Ethyl’s benefits, it saturated the planet with an insidious poison, and the true magnitude of its past, present, and future harm are yet to be known.

Read more about Mr. Midgley’s exploits at Damn Interesting

PostSecret … This Card Makes Me Feel… Weird. Like Something Is Wrong With The World.

never been kissed