Los Cuatro Ojos

For Sherry – Chemistry Jokes

1. What’s the difference between Chemistry and cooking? In Chemistry, you should never lick the spoon.
2. Did you hear about the chemist who was reading a book about Helium? He just couldn’t put it down.
3. Why are chemists great for solving problems? They have all the solutions.
4. What do you do with a dead chemists? Barium
5. A small piece of ice which lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. “Bunsen! my flame! I melt whenever I see you” said the ice. The Bunsen burner replied :”It’s just a phase you’re going through”.
6. A neutron walks into a restaurant and orders a couple of cokes. As she is about to leave, she asks the waiter how much she owes. The waiter replies, “For you, No Charge!!!”
7. If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate!

8. Two atoms are walking down the street.

   Says one atom to the other, “Hey! I think I lost an electron!”

   The other says, “Are you sure??”

   “Yes, I’m positive!”

9. Why does hamburger have lower energy than steak? Because it’s in the ground state.
10. According to a chemist, why is the world so diverse? Because it’s made up of alkynes of people.

And A Bonus For The Real Chemists Out There:

What weapon can you make from the elements potassium, nickel and iron?  A KNiFe.