Politics Explained…

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, “What is Politics?”

Dad says,

“Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I’m the head of the family, so call me The President.

Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government. We’re here to take care of your needs, so we’ll call you the People.

The nanny, we’ll consider her the Working Class.

And your baby brother, we’ll call him the Future. Now think about that and see if it makes sense.”

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad had said.

Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him.

He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper.

So the little boy goes to his parent’s room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny’s room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy say’s to his father, “Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now.”

The father says, “Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.”

The little boy replies, “The President is screwing the Working Class while the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit.”

Some Recycled Insults…

You are a wickedly uncivilized fiend and a myopic, dull-witted patient on a ward of witless wanton wretches. – unknown

 

I feel sorry for you because you’re homely, but I feel even sorrier for other people because they have to look at you. – anonymous

 

Is that your nose or did you inhale a cantaloupe? – anonymous

We’ve Added A New Site To The Blogroll…

Nanny Goats In Panties?!?… Nanny Goats In Panties?!?… Sounds like someplace some of our kinkier readers might have on their Stumble -List.

Stop drooling on your keyboard… NGIP is a site I’ve been wandering through for a few days now… And it’s funny… Wicked funny!

NGIP’s stated purpose is: “Eliminating all hope for world peace… One post at a time” .. That works for me.
Looks like Margaret takes a lot of her own pics… Like this one:

There’s a story here too… in case you’re interested…

Since I’ve got a history of making my own brews… This post I found interesting.

Anyway… Pop on over to Nanny Goats In Panties and get your chuckle on.

In Memoriam To My Friend… Linda… Rest In Peace.

Linda HarrellLinda Harrell1Linda Harrell2

To My Dearest Linda…
Just last night my wife and I were having a laugh that it was about time for a call from Linda… This was a conversation filled with giggles because we both knew what fun it was whenever you called… You’d share some laughs with Ket and she’d fill you in on her version of whatever I was up to and then she’d clue you in to whatever I needed to be disciplined about and then we’d have a couple of hours(at least!) to catch up and reminisce.
You and I became friends the day we met back in 1980 and we never stopped to question the closeness that governed our relationship… You made me Michelle’s Godfather the day you found out you were carrying her.
Through marriages and miles we shared thoughts, feelings, friendship and fun. No matter where I was on this planet… You could always find me… And I’d never be surprised. You were the only person on planet Earth who called me by my middle name. We shared Ships and the Sea… Camping trips and cookouts… Craziness and Coolness… Laughter, Tears and Life…
And of course, we shared our love for Michelle…
Rest In Peace O Soul-mate of Mine… We always figured I’d go first and that you’d be the one to write and speak pretty words for me… Tonight I’ll pull out the old photo album and we’ll sail the Klickitat and walk 2nd Beach… Again…. And Again… And Again.
Love… “D”

Linda Michelle

My Favorite Pic Of You And Michelle…

Linda Rudy

You Threw My Going Away Party The First Time I Went Overseas…

2nd beach1

2nd Beach Was Our Favorite Place…

2nd beach2

We’d Explore Tidal Pools All Day Long…

2nd beach3

We’d Climb Sea Stacks Like They Had Staging…

damage1

We Crawled Through A Lot Of Wreckage…

damage2

We Documented Some Really Fine Oopsies!…

Tug w a flat

You Had A Thing For Tugboats… Even When They Had A Flat Tire…

Quotable Quotes…

  • He hoped and prayed that there wasn’t an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn’t an afterlife.

  • He was a dreamer, a thinker, a speculative philosopher… or, as his wife would have it, an idiot.
  • I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be.
  • I seldom end up where I wanted to go, but almost always end up where I need to be.

Douglas Adams

Another Great Time Waster!… Puzzle Farter…

Double pressing the up key makes you fly!

Play It HERE 

Sorry About The late Posts… Having This Kind Of Day…

bull run

Daddy’s Little Girl!!

i’ll be a stripper

If You’re Having A Bad Day… Remember… It Could Be Worse…

remember a bad day

Seen At The Red Dress Party… Nice Kitty!

For More Red Dress Party Pics… Go HERE 

Nice Kitty!

Don’t Laugh… This Was 1981′s Best Laptop…

Woo!!… 64K of RAM and a 4″ screen… 

1981 laptop

Deep Conversation…

deep conversation

This Is A Real Dating Website…

muslima

Man Arrested For Having Porno On His Back Seat…

From Firstcoastnews.com

New Jersey State Police arrested a 47-year-old man whose alleged display of a topless Barbie doll and explicit porn magazines inside his car caused a stir at a Garden State Parkway rest area.

Robert Martin also had women’s underwear on a platter on the dashboard of his car, investigators said.

The car is still at the Ocean View Service Plaza, but the porn is not; state police seized it.

People there said they certainly haven’t forgotten the graphic images they saw inside.

“There was just stuff strategically placed and all of it was based around pornography,” said Christie Ostrander.

It was a XXX eyeful that Ostrander said she got when she looked inside Martin’s Lincoln as it was parked at the busy Ocean View Service Plaza on the Garden State Parkway in Dennis Township.

“Very explicit pornography,” she said. “It was a mixture of pornography, a Bible, cross, it was all laid out perfectly. Nobody should have to really be exposed to that.”

Ostrander works at the New Jersey information center and said people began complaining a couple weeks ago about porn DVD cases and magazines on the seats and center console along with a topless Barbie doll on the dash board.

“There was a thong on a gold platter,” Ostrander said.

“It’s crazy, I mean, anybody could see that stuff. That’s no good, especially for kids,” Chris Kelley, who saw pornography in the car, said.

“I didn’t think that possessing porn inside your car, in the back seat, was a public display,” Robert Martin said. “It was not on public display, it was not a public shrine.”

Martin admits the car and the porn belong to him, but said he only had it in the car because he is in the process of moving.

A Real Bargain…

2 for 2

Stories From Travel Agents… The Lady Wants To Fly To Pepsi-Cola

  • A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, “Don’t lie to me. I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state.”
  • I got a call from a man who asked, “Is it possible to see England from Canada?” I said, “No.” He said “But they look so close on the map.”
  • Another man called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had a 1-hour lay over in Dallas.  When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, “I heard Dallas was a big airport, and I need a car to drive between the gates to save time.”
  • A woman called and said, “I need to fly to Pepsi-cola on one of those computer planes.” I asked if she meant to fly to Pensacola on a commuter plane. She said, “Yeah, whatever.”
  • A businessman called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him he needed a visa. “Oh no I don’t, I’ve been to China many times and never had to have one of those.” I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, “Look, I’ve been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express.”

 

 

Want The U.S. Government To Bail YOU Out And Pay Your Debts?… Here’s How…

From 23/6 

With news that the U.S. Treasury is getting the go-ahead to use billions of federal dollars to guarantee the debts held by Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae, many Americans can’t help but wonder, “What’s so damn special about those two companies? I have debt too. How can I get the government to shore up my debt?”

It’s not that hard. The problem with most Americans is that no matter how hard they try with their credit cards, student loans, and mortgages it can be hard to rack up more than $60,000 or $70,000 in debt, which the government thinks is small potatoes. If you want to make sure the government uses tax dollars to pay off your debt, you gotta spend big!

Read More HERE

Man Tries To Rob Pizza Place… Gets Knocked Out…

No Posts Today… Anniversary… 22 Years.

inflatable wife

New Yorker Obama Cover… If I Wasn’t NY Nutty Myself… I’d Be Offended…

I admit that it looks bad… real bad… Like the New Yorker is taking a heck of a swipe at the Obama’s… And I expect there to be some serious backlash on this… But I’m pretty sure it’s just snarky NYC style sarcasm…

But since this one is pushing the envelope even for this artist(Barry Blitt)… I suspect that there’ll be a firestorm anyway… And it’s the magazine’s fault for not adding some snarky text so’s that folks that don’t ordinarily deal with the NYer would get the drift… That’s the trouble with inside jokes… They can backfire real bad if they get outside the “inside.”

Unfortunately… This cover is going to provide the right wingnuts with plenty of ammo just by grabbing and putting the pic into wide circulation… Which will probably get Mr. Blitt’s goat more than all the screaming of every Obamaniac in the country.

Since I like the New Yorker… I’m putting up some other covers that might seem offensive… But they should admit that this one is bad juju and take their lumps.

New Yorker Obama

newyorker covers

Click to Hear What Ol’ Foghorn’s Got To Say About This One…

foghorn leghorn

Amen Brother!

You don’t have to

Click HERE For Audio Commentary…

Pick Your Poison…

Pick your poison

Note To The New Yorker

Now That’s Sarcasm!!

Home Made Critters…

home made animals

Business Is Booming At Pawn Shops… Big Bargains For Buyers…

pawn shop

I was in the market for a cheap chainsaw the other day and a friend of mine suggested that with the economy in shambles… I might be able to find something nicer than I could get for what I was willing to spend if I looked in a pawn shop.

OK, says I… There’s been quite a few commercials for the big “Super-Pawn Shops” that seem to have sprung up over the past couple of years… Maybe I can find a deal.

So off we go… The first one we hit had no chain saws… But it had one heck of a line of folks paying on their loan tickets… And most of those folks weren’t redeeming tickets for goods either…

But what was really disturbing was that this particular shop was in a pretty new shopping development that is surrounded by lots of new housing developments that contained some fairly high end housing.

Anyway … we browsed for at least a half hour and I saw lots and lots of high end cameras and power tools at prices that blew Home Depot and Best Buy out of the water… My buddy browsed the jewelery section and said that there was lots of really nice bling to be had for a pittance.

And in that half hour… We were the only ones browsing… But the line at the payments counter just got longer.

So we headed for a shop over in mid town and there I struck pay dirt… A nice Homelite saw for $79 and a nice Sanyo DVD/VCR combo machine for $35… But wait! said the nice lady named Ursula… “Our other branch has a big sale going on because they’re overstocked and sales are slow”… “Besides… I’ll hold this stuff for you if you like.”

Cool! says we… And we headed east.

No chainsaws at Pawn Shop #3… But there was lots of other stuff… And they were real busy taking in even more… A motorcycle and a bunch of high end radio controlled cars… Some camping gear… A kayak.

This place even had 3 count ‘em!.. 3 motorized wheelchairs… Nice ones.

And this guy had computers… a whole bunch of late model… high end… fully loaded… RAM stuffed beasts.

Well… Me being a system addict… couldn’t resist. I walked out of there with a very nice current model, loaded, black Macbook that retails for $1800 and a totally tricked out emac that I picked up for a friend’s kid… Total ticket?… $900.

I sold the macbook to #1 son on a 3 month payment plan. He’d been waffling over whether or not to finance a Macbook with Apple, but was balking at the terms… Anyway… He’s been using girlfriend’s Macbook in the meantime and I suspect that that was gonna lead to trouble in paradise eventually.
I didn’t make a profit on the 0% interest deal… But #1 son did pop by on Saturday to cut down a dead tree in the back yard and rotate the tires on the old van.

Oh… and Ursula knocked $25 off of the chainsaw and combo video machine.

Read More Stories About The Pawn Shop Boom HERE and HERE

Gas Now Cheaper Than Heroin….

pricesWTF prices

With oil prices soaring over $130 a barrel, the average driver now spends more per week on gas than the average drug addict spends on heroin, according to a study published in the latest issue of the scientific journal, The Economics Of Street Drugs.

“This is definitely a first in the history of street drugs,” said study author Mallory Fulbright. “It’s incredible – heroin users are now spending more on gas to drive to their dealers to buy drugs than they are for the actual drugs. And with gas prices constantly climbing, the gap is just going to get wider and wider.

“I hate to say it, but this is the first time in American history that it’s actually made sound economic sense to be a heroin addict,” Fulbright added.

Read More HERE