Ever Feel Like This Mouse?


I Wear Glasses… But This Is Too Much!!

pierced glasses1

pierced glasses2pierced glasses3

Read More HERE

Lord Of The Rings Fan?… Learn To Write Anything In Elf Language… Easy!

Learn How HERE


Has Christmas Lost It’s Luster?

Have You Felt Like This This Christmas Season?

corporate Santa

Do You Hate This Picture … But Kind Of Get What This Guy’s Getting At?

santa cross

Does Christmas Feel Like XXXmas?

santa queer

Does This Picture Represent Your Feelings Towards Most A Lot Of Some People?

santa poop

Does Your Mall Santa Look Like This?

evil santa

Tough… Deal With It…

piss merry

I Hate This Guy!… Do You Have A Neighbor Like This?… My Kids Say… Can WE Do That DAD???

Carol of the Bells – Computer Controlled Christmas Lights from Richard Holdman on Vimeo.

And This Is My Reaction… My Best Scrooge Face.


It’s Dec. 24th And My House Lights Are Still In The Shed In The Backyard… Some Folks Are Just Over Achievers…

Music Box Dancer – Holdman Christmas Display 2007 from Richard Holdman on Vimeo.

If Only The Little Dog Didn’t Look So Guilty!… Am I The Only One With A Dirty Mind?!?


Goldfish?!? What Goldfish?!? I Don’t Know Nuttin’ About No Goldfish!

goldfish cat

Is That Jar Of Pickles Expired?… What About Shampoo?… Or Mustard?


Surprising Expiration Dates

A handy, who-knew guide to 77 foods, beauty products, and household goods

Do You have stockpiled shampoo and toothpaste?.. Seldom-used silver polish? How do you know when their primes have passed?

With help from experts and product manufacturers, Real Simple has compiled a guide to expiration dates. These dates are offered as a rough guideline. The shelf lives of most products depend upon how you treat them. Edibles, unless otherwise indicated, should be stored in a cool, dry place. (With any food, of course, use common sense.) Household cleaners also do best in a dry place with a stable temperature. After the dates shown, beauty and cleaning products are probably still safe but may be less effective.

Beer – Unopened: 4 months.

Brown sugar - Indefinite shelf life, stored in a moistureproof container in a cool, dry place.

Chocolate (Hershey bar) – 1 year from production date

Coffee, canned ground – Unopened: 2 years – Opened: 1 month refrigerated

Olives, jarred (green with pimento) – Unopened: 3 years – Opened: 3 months

Olive oil - 2 years from manufacture date (After this time, color or flavor may be affected, but product is still generally safe to consume.)

Peanuts – Unopened: 1 to 2 years unless frozen or refrigerated – Opened: 1 to 2 weeks in airtight container


There’s Also A TABLE OF CONDIMENTS brought to you by the mysterious people at F.N.O.R.D.,

Today… He IS The Hydrant!!

car hydrant

I’m Sure My Wife Parked This Car…

car parked

An Interesting Clock…

See it HERE

Seen On A Billboard…

JD Sister


italian anti league

bud wife



liquid panty remover

A List Of Mistakes In Your Favorite Movies….

Incredibly… Most of your favorite movies have at least one mistake that makes it into the final release… Here’s a list of a bunch of them… MORE HERE

17 Mr. and Mrs. Smith The movie is supposed to take place in and around New York City, however during the car chase where Angelina and Brad are fighting off the three BMW’s, a wide shot clearly shows a street sign announcing Los Angeles.
19 The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King In the second half of the film, Frodo has a scar on his lower right cheek, close to his chin. Many times throughout the rest of the film the scar changes position and size on his right cheek. It also appears on his left cheek in flipped shots (most obviously on the slopes of Mount Doom when Sam is cradling his head).
21 Terminator 2: Judgment Day The T-1000 punches his body through the window of a helicopter to get inside. An instant later, the hole in the windshield is gone.
23 Raiders of the Lost Ark While Indy and Marion are in the Well of the Souls, and they encounter the snakes, Indy falls to the ground only to get confronted by a Cobra rearing its head and hissing. Look carefully and you’ll see the reflection of the snake on the safety glass between it and Indy. Briefly you can also see the torch’s reflection while he’s waving it around. This has been corrected in the new DVD set. You can only see it if you have the original VHS. I think it’s visible in the “making of” on the DVD as well.

Irrefutable Proof That Your Government Spends Your Tax Money Wisely And Well…

Today we are proud to unveil the latest secret weapon for use in the War Against Terror… A Bargain at only $16 Million each.


End Of The Rainbow… YEAH!!!

beer rainbow

This Was My Wife When I Took Away The Credit Cards This Morning…

tiger teeth

“What do you mean?!?… Christmas shopping’s over!!… How Dare You?!?!

This Video Has Been On My Hard Drive For Years… But YouTube Rejected It When I Tried To Upload It… What Gives?

This poor guy must still catch hell about this one!… But on the other hand… This delicate flower of femininity will make some lucky guy very happy some day…. And I will state for the record… That although I’m pretty sure my wife could handle me as easily as this… She never has… ‘Cuz She Loves Me.

Then There’s This Poor Idiot Who Didn’t Know Just How Far Out Of His Weight Class He Was Going To End Up

Doesn’t he know that big girls tend to travel in herds groups? Now he knows how Mustafa from “The Lion King” felt after the unfortunate Wildebeest incident…. What truly adds insult to injury here… is that this poor knucklehead is the one who ends up going to jail!.. Trampled… Gored… Publicly Humiliated and Arrested… This guy’s a candidate for a couple of shots of Jeremiah Weed

Dumbledore’s Influence?.. Or Was Harry Just Checking On Ron’s “Wand”?… Which Movie Is This From?..

ron harry

A Woman From Inside Out… A Good Time Waster… Fun To Watch…

a woman from inside out

Next Time Your Wife Asks…”Does This Make Me Look Fat?”… Look Her Straight In The Eye… Smile… And Show Her This Picture…

fat wife

A Great Take On Xmas!! WARNING!! Filthy & Profane!!! NOT SAFE FOR WORK…


And Here’s Another Since YouTube Saw Fit To Pull Down The First One

Solomon As O-Oka… Each To His Own…


Arresting the Stone Buddha

A merchant bearing fifty rolls of cotton goods on his shoulders stopped to rest from the heat of the day beneath a shelter where a large stone Buddha was standing. There he fell asleep, and when he awoke his goods had disappeared. He immediately reported the matter to the police.

A judge named O-oka opened court to investigate. “That stone Buddha must have stolen the goods,” concluded the judge. “He is supposed to care for the welfare of the people, but he has failed to perform his holy duty. Arrest him.”

The police arrested the stone Buddha and carried it into the court. A noisy crowd followed the statue, curious to learn what kind of sentence the judge was about to impose.

When O-oka appeared on the bench he rebuked the boisterous audience. “What right have you people to appear before the court laughing and joking in this manner? You are in contempt of court and subject to a fine and imprisonment.”

The people hastened to apologize. “I shall have to impose a fine on you,” said the judge, “but I will remit it provided each one of you brings one roll of cotton goods to the court within three days. Anyone failing to do this will be arrested.”

One of the rolls of cloth which the people brought was quickly recognized by the merchant as his own, and thus the thief was easily discovered. The merchant recovered his goods, and the cotton rolls were returned to the people.

Praise The Lord!! Jeremiah Weed Has Re-Entered My Life!!

Years ago… I used to drink a bourbon based liqueur called Jeremiah Weed… It tastes like a cross between Drambuie, Southern Comfort and Old Grand Dad… It is also 100 proof. Well… I lost track of the stuff for years. But yesterday, while I was doing my holiday booze buying… There it was! Different bottle… Same taste! Naturally… I bought two.

Jeremiah Weednew bottle jeremiah oldold bottle

Now… There’s a legend out there that fighter pilots swear by this stuff… Here’s a story by a guy who claims to have started the trend with the Air Force… There’s even a song dedicated to it by a group called Dos Gringos.

But I know the “Weed” from the days when I hung out with old time submariners… Back then… the stuff came in an all brown bottle. I knew bartenders that said that the stuff was from the old western days. It was said that it was made from the dregs of the bourbon barrels… But I happen to believe an even older story that the stuff was named after a patriot from Connecticut who died in the 1800′s… Here’s another testimonial to the virtue of this fine beverage/

Whatever! Welcome home old friend! Throw away your SoCo and your Irish Mist and your Yukon Jack!… Get yourself a short glass and some ice and try some Weed… Jeremiah Weed that is!

Here’s a recipe for the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster that is much better if the Jeremiah Weed variant is used:

This makes one approximately 18 ounce (0,5 l) Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster. The reason this drink seems so large is that Zaphod Beeblebrox has two heads, so when he created it, it came out to 9 ounces (2,5 dl) per head, so both were happy.

Before drinking, eat one olive to create a sweetness in it which is not there. Drink extremely carefully at your own risk, and remember where your towel is (if you can).

This one is a bit more sedate and less likely to get you arrested.

F*cked Up Shark

1 1/2 oz Jeremiah Weed® bourbon whiskey
1 1/2 oz Blue Curacao liqueur
1 1/2 oz triple sec
1 1/2 oz Southern Comfort® peach liqueur
12 oz can tonic water

Pour the Jeremiah Weed whiskey into a cocktail shaker half-filled with ice cubes. Add the blue curacao, triple sec and Southern Comfort peach liqueur and add a can of tonic water. Shake vigorously, despite the building pressure. Shake until much of the carbonation from the tonic water subsides and creates a petillent, clear teal beverage. Pour over a minimal amount of ice in a collins glass, and serve.